“Ground rules,” I stated once we were riding the elevator up to my apartment. I was holding a suitcase and a plant she’d refused to leave behind because she’d kept it alive for three freaking years. Another mark against her, considering anyone who could keep a plant alive that long needed to get laid, or just find a hobby, any hobby that made their life look less pathetic. Checkers. I’d have more respect for her if she was in a checkers club.
But no, my new roomie-slash-shrew fake girlfriend had a plant fetish.
And she wasn’t the only one having a rough day.
Otis let out a pitiful moan.
“Shh, Otis.” Jordan rocked the small shih tzu back and forth like it was an infant, then kissed its head. “We’re almost there.”
I cleared my throat just as the doors opened, revealing the marble penthouse lobby.
“Holy crap!” Jordan did a little spin.
“Wait.” I stopped her spinning and jerked my hand back just before Otis took a giant bite out of my thumb. “Ground rules, remember?”
Jordan rolled her eyes. Her frizzy hair had yet to calm down, and if anything it had doubled in size and was cheerfully growing to the tune of “Stairway to Heaven.” Her big brown eyes were makeup-free, her complexion flushed but beautiful. Her round face only made her appear more feminine and enticing.
Which was the last thing I needed.
An attraction to my roommate.
And publicist.
And shrew.
What the hell kind of day was this?
Jordan peeked around me, her gaze on the large black double doors behind me. “Jordan, focus!”
“Sorry.” She returned her gaze to me. “Ground rules. Yes.”
I held up a finger. “One, you’re only here until we can find a place for you to live where you won’t get electrocuted.”
She nodded.
“Two.” I held up two fingers. “I like order, you know, clean lines, clean laundry, made beds, no dirty dishes—”
“Whoa.” Jordan chuckled. “Are you saying you really are gay? It makes perfect sense!” She slammed her hand against her forehead. “The need for a good publicist, the whole taming of the shrew. Who is he?” She was already pulling out her cell, ready to do damage control.
“Chill.” I held up my hand. “Not gay, just a type-A personality.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“Fine.” I sighed. “I’m settling this.”
I went in, molding my mouth to hers, her protest dying against my lips as my tongue swiped her lower lip, once and then twice, before entering into the sweet velvet delicacy of her mouth.
Otis moaned.
Or maybe it was me.
Jordan wrapped a hand around my neck, pulling me closer.
“Drop the damn dog,” I hissed against her mouth.
Otis fell to the ground with a thump and started barking wildly while I picked up Jordan by her hips and held her against my body.
Barking continued.
The kissing didn’t stop. Who knew she had such talent? Her mouth was like a weapon. I was ready to suffer all the day long if that meant I’d get to taste her.
Jordan’s cell went off.
I pleaded with the universe, Just let her cell die!
“My, my,” a voice said from behind me. A very evil voice. “What do we have here?”
I jerked away and glared at Max, who leaned against the elevator doors. “You guys taking your work home?”
“Max.” I gritted my teeth. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
He tilted his head. “Oh, it’s always my business.”
Otis barked and started terrorizing Max’s feet.
“Aw, hey, little guy.”
“Otis,” I clarified.
“You guys already bought a dog?”
“No,” we yelled in unison.
“It’s Jordan’s.”
“And you, the lovely lady, and her dog are at your apartment because?”
I scratched my neck, as honest-to-God hives started popping up around the collar of my shirt. “We hit a . . . snag.”
Max eyed Jordan up and down. “I’ll say. Also, question: Is she aware that by this time tomorrow her hair’s going to be in the 90210?”
Jordan growled. “Max, what did you need?”
His grin grew. “I live here. In this building. I was just coming up to see if I could talk my brother into reasoning with me about this whole wedding situation. But now? I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Not with you two buying a dog and cohabitating. You’ll either have sex or kill each other before the end of the week. My bet’s on both.”
“My electricity went out!” Jordan said defensively.
“You have to pay the bill, small fry.” Max shook his head at me and pointed a thumb at Jordan. “She always this dense?”
Jordan lunged.
I grabbed her by the arm just as Max stepped out of the way, laughing and holding his hands up in surrender. “We still on for dinner tonight?”
“Shit!” I released Jordan. “I forgot!”
“Bring her.” Max nodded to a very fluffy, aggravated-looking Jordan. “It seems we’ve finally found another friend we can bring around Milo.”
“Milo?” she repeated.
Max gave a thoughtful nod. “Yes, yes, I think you’ll do quite well together.”
“Me and Milo?”
“No, you and Reid.” He clapped his hands. “Keep up.”
“But—”
I put a hand over Jordan’s mouth. “Shh, don’t question him.”
“Until this evening.” Max tipped his nonexistent hat and walked down the lobby to another door.
“Tell me.” Jordan closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Tell me he doesn’t live in the penthouse next door.”
“Two penthouses in this building.” I shoved the key into the lock. “We own both.”