“She’s also his shrew.” Max nodded. “He has to tame her for the people. Give them what they want, that’s always what I say!”
“Shrew?” Colton took a step back.
What, was that word the universal indicator that I wanted to kick men in their parts, then point and laugh?
“It’s a long story.” My eyes greedily searched for Reid. Finally, he made his way over to me, his swagger both pissing me off and making me a little bit breathless.
“We’re, uh, together.” Reid coughed into his hand, then awkwardly put an arm around my waist.
“Oh, dear Lord.” Max made a cross motion in front of his body. “All those years at theater camp boil down to this moment and you just coughed while introducing the shrew.”
“Am I late?” an elderly, hoarse voice said from the door. When I turned to greet the woman, I nearly lost the wine I’d just tossed down my throat. A small black wig was placed on her head. It was backward. Her lipstick was halfway across her mouth, joker style, and her blouse was three buttons away from being completely open.
Reid made the kind of noise I’d only ever heard on the Discovery Channel and ducked behind me while Max muttered, “You play dirty? I play dirty.”
“Grandma!” Max shouted, making his way toward the old woman. “Glad you could make it!”
Grandma tittered, her black wig dipping across her nose. Was she blind? Then again, earlier today people could have easily said the same thing about the rat growing on my head. “Oh, I do love being naked too. Thank you, Max, don’t mind if I do.”
The woman started unbuttoning what was left of her shirt. She swayed on her feet, clearly intoxicated. Reid gripped my hand and tugged me backward, whispering in my ear, “We’re going to make a run for it.”
“Really?” I didn’t turn around. Another button popped. “And miss the show?”
“Trust me.” His lips grazed my ear. “I’ve seen this show. I had to go to therapy because of it. On the count of three, you faint and I carry you out.”
“Wait.” The sad elderly lady was fighting a losing battle with that last button. I’d never been so thankful for strong thread in my entire life. “Isn’t she your grandma?”
“If she were”—Reid’s grip on my wrist tightened—“the things she did to me would have landed me on Dateline.”
“Fine,” I huffed, setting my wineglass down on the table. “I’ll faint.”
“Thank God.”
“Grandma, no, no.” Milo ran to the woman’s side and jerked the shirt tight across the woman’s chest. “This isn’t that sort of establishment.”
“What’s that?” She cupped her ear.
“No nudes!” Max shouted helpfully.
“Prudes!” Grandma scoffed. “I have no time for them.” Her eyes scanned the room and landed on me. Or at least I thought they did. Reid went absolutely still behind me. “Lover?”
Without missing a beat, Reid flipped me around and smashed his mouth against mine, digging his hands into my ass so hard I was going to have bruises. One minute I was standing, the next he was slamming me onto the table and silverware went flying, clattering to the floor. A plate was making a permanent indent in my back, but I didn’t care.
Because not only was Reid a movie star—he kissed like one.
You know those kisses you see on TV? Where you wonder if the kiss is as good as it looks?
It is. Trust me, it so. Is. My entire body trembled with delight. For a brief second I forgot where we were—or that we had an audience.
His mouth was aggressive while his tongue was smooth and calculated as it invaded my mouth with such finesse that I wanted to eat the poor man alive.
“That’s enough,” Max hissed from somewhere in the room.
Reid pulled back, face flushed. “Sorry.”
“Huh?” Seriously, the building could have caught on fire and I still would have been trying to figure out a way to pull the guy back on top of me and wrap my legs around his body—trapping both of us until we burst into flames.
“Damn.” Grandma snapped her fingers. “Didn’t know I’d been replaced.”
I choked. “Replaced?”
Reid’s expression was pained. “If you care about me as a human being, you’ll lie. And make it good.”
“What will you give me?” I whispered out of the corner of my mouth.
“Really?” He pinched my ass. “I don’t know—a place to live so you don’t have to roam the streets and live in a cardboard box with Otis while eating people’s leftover hotdogs?”
“Grandma!” I yelled and opened my arms wide. “We haven’t met! I’m Reid’s girlfriend, Jordan.” Yeah, that little lie felt way too easy to tell.
The grandma in question glared and flipped me off, then waddled over to the table and started chugging wine.
Max winked. “She’ll get over it. She gets very attached to her boy toys, though. She’s just sad because poor Reid was so broken after playtime.”
“So many things in that sentence that will probably scar me forever,” Reid said under his breath. “Thanks, man.”
Max nodded. “So shall we order?”
“Damn it!” Grandma slammed her fist onto the table.
Jason poured her another glass of wine. “Here you go, sport.”