“It’s true, there is a close resemblance, and maybe that is part of what drew me to her, made me feel familiar with her at the beginning. It’s not what made me want to stay. It’s not why I’m here now.”
Leslie didn’t pull any punches. “Are you sure?”
I thought of the gravestone, the bones of my wife and daughter lying beneath it. “Yes. Before coming here, I flew to New York. To say goodbye.”
Her hand moved to cover her mouth and tears filled her eyes, but they didn’t fall. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“Where you able to say goodbye?” she asked, her fingers on her charm again.
“Yes. It’s what Jessica would have wanted. She wouldn’t have wanted me to live the way I’d been living, so isolated from the world.”
“It has to be hard, walking the line between the present and the past.”
I looked at Zoe again. “It had been hard. Until her.”
Leslie sniffed. “Dammit, you’re going to make me cry, and I swore that I wouldn’t cry.”
I remembered breaking down after our Tantra night together, how freeing the release had been as Zoe held me. It had been embarrassing. Men didn’t cry. Men were strong, didn’t show that kind of emotion.
The stereotype was bullshit.
I thought of Mr. Pederson, the foster father I was most grateful for. I remembered him holding me while I cried and he cried before I was taken away. I’d been thinking of him often, wondering how he was. If he’d remarried. Moved on with his life. Maybe I’d try to find him, tell him how grateful I was for the time I’d been able to spend with him and his wife.
“Excuse me, I need to go do a couple things,” Leslie said, wiping at her tears with a tissue she’d produced from somewhere. “I’ll be back in a little while. Will you still be here?”
I nodded, watching Zoe. “Yes. I’m not going anywhere.”
I didn’t. I stayed right there, watching over the woman I loved, hoping that she was able to sense my protective presence… and that she would find it welcoming.
Much later, Leslie reappeared at my side, a water bottle in her hand. She passed it to me, and I gratefully took it. “Thank you.”
“It’s almost over,” she said, watching the last of the crowd trickle out of the building. “Where are you staying?”
“I secured a room at the Omni. A driver is waiting for me outside and can take me…” my eyes were on Zoe, “hopefully us anywhere. She and I need to talk.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Will there be a burial tomorrow?” I asked. “I didn’t see anything other than this service tonight.”
Leslie shook her head. “Cynthia is being cremated. I’m sure Zoe will want to do something special with the ashes, but there is nothing planned after tonight.” She groaned, her face growing tight. “Shit.”
I was immediately alarmed by the look in her eyes. “What? What’s wrong?”
“The bastard is here,” she said through gritted teeth. “He just couldn’t stay away.”
I looked back through the window to see an older man practically swaggering in Zoe’s direction. From the look on her face, she was about as pleased to see him as Leslie was.
“I’ll be right back,” Leslie said and was gone before I could stop her. I heard her heels clicking on the marble floor as she ran to the entrance of the chapel.
I kept my eyes on Zoe, watched her cross her arms protectively over her chest. She looked past him and held up a give me a minute finger, to Leslie, I supposed. A few seconds later, the heels came clicking back in my direction.
The man looked greasy, and not just because of the dark hair that was slicked back from his face. He simply carried that air around him as he spoke to Zoe.
I watched her stiffen, cross her arms tighter. Watched her shake her head, her face a mask of fury.
“Who is he?”
“Theo Southerland,” Zoe spat. “Cynthia’s agent. Nastiest man on the planet.”
My eyes narrowed. “The agent who wanted to get her in the business?”
Leslie’s nostrils flared. “The one and only.”
Leslie gasped when the man raised a finger and pointed it in Zoe’s face. I growled and took a step toward the window.
Zoe said something, causing the older man to stomp his foot. He looked ridiculous, like a child. “Score one for Zoe,” Leslie murmured.
I wasn’t so sure. The man’s face turned a mottled-looking purple. I silently hoped he would stroke out.
Theo Southerland said something else, and Zoe spit in his face.
His response was immediate. His hand came around, hitting her hard. Beside me, Leslie screamed.
I didn’t hesitate. I turned and ran, racing down the long hallway to the chapel entrance, rage riding my back.
I was about to kill another man with my bare hands.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Zoe
“Well, Mom. I think you would have approved.”
I laid my hand on the golden coffin with its enormous spray of assorted roses. Mom could never decide which color she favored, so I’d gotten them all. She’d never know but it made me feel better.
She’d lived for the glitz, the limelight, the attention… and all of that was happening in droves. Mom had finally gotten her wish — the entire country and much of the world was talking about her.
The casket was closed as I stood beside it and shook hands with the gaudily dressed women and sleazy looking men who’d dropped by to pay their last respects.
“Your mom was a jewel, and you’re the spitting image of her.”
“She showed me the ropes. I never would have survived the industry without her.”
I made myself smile at each remark. I couldn’t hate the ladies who had chosen this lifestyle. Like my mother, they all had their reasons. Their own crosses to bear. The guilt and shame they dealt with in different ways.
I did hate the producers, the agents… Theo Southerland especially.
Bile rose to my throat as the smarmy bastard approached. I’d stood in that same spot for over two long hours thinking I wouldn’t have to see his face. Just as the service was over and everyone left, he appeared, making my skin crawl.
“How’re ya holding up, doll?”
I didn’t even offer him a tight smile. “The truth is, as sad as I am about Mom’s passing, I’m glad that I never have to lay eyes on you or hear your voice again.”
He laughed, the slimy creep. Then he leaned forward, assaulting me with his cheap cologne and coffee breath, but I didn’t step away. “Don’t be like that. I took good care of your mama all these years. You should show me a little more respect.”
From the corner of my eye, Leslie appeared at the door. Her eyes narrowed the second she laid eyes on the asshole. I lifted a finger, silently asking her to wait. She gave a slight nod and took a step backward, but I knew she wouldn’t be going very far.
“I owe you nothing,” I said, turning back to Theo, scowling when he snapped a rose from the enormous spray on Mom’s casket and tucked it into his jacket pocket. I wanted to snatch it away, stuff it down his throat, but I only looked at him steadily, refusing to give him the pleasure of an emotional reaction.