hair like the girls. At first, before I got wise to it, I’d find myself having to tell them that she’d died, and then they’d probe further and I’d end up telling them that she’d been murdered. And they’d pretend surprise and say how sorry they were and how awful it must have been for me. It was only after one woman went a step too far and asked me how the police had broken the news to me that I caught on to them.’ He shakes his head in disbelief. ‘There must be a name for people like that but I don’t know what it is. At least the village shop and the pub get a roaring trade out of it,’ he adds, giving a rueful smile.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say again. I want to tell him who I am, that I received his letter this morning but after what he’s just said he might think that, like all the others, I came to the park hoping to bump into him, especially as I have no real reason for being in Heston. It’s not as if he invited me to come and see him. I get to my feet.
‘I should go.’
‘I hope it’s not because of what I said.’ In the bright sunlight I can see streaks of grey in his brown hair and I wonder if they were there before Jane died.
‘No, not at all,’ I reassure him. ‘I have to get back.’
‘Well, thank you for coming to the rescue.’ He looks over to where the girls are playing. ‘It’s all forgotten now, thank goodness.’
‘You’re welcome.’ I try to smile but the irony of his words make it difficult. ‘Enjoy the rest of the afternoon.’
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‘You too.’
I walk away, my heart hammering in my chest, his words about me coming to his rescue ringing in my ears. They mock me all the way to the gate and out to the car and I wonder what on earth had possessed me to come here, unless it was my need for absolution. What would happen if I went back and told him who I am, and that I saw Jane in the lay-by that night? Would he smile that sad smile of his and tell me that it didn’t matter, that it was just as well I hadn’t stopped because I might have been murdered too? Or would he be appalled at my non-intervention and point his finger at me and tell everyone in the park that I had done nothing to help his wife. Because I have no way of knowing, I turn on the engine and drive home, but all I can think about is Jane’s husband and the two little daughters she left behind.
Although I drive as slowly as I can, I’m home
by five. As I go in through the gate my anxiety comes rushing back and I know I’m not going to be able to go into the house, not until Matthew comes back, so I stay in the car. Even in the shade it’s hot so I open the windows to try to get a bit of a draught going. My phone beeps, telling me I’ve got a message, and when I see it’s from Mary I switch my mobile off. I’m so busy worrying about the work I still haven’t done that I don’t notice the time passing, so when I see Matthew’s car turning into the drive I think at first that he’s come home early. A quick check of my watch tells me it’s already six-thirty.
He pulls up alongside me and I take the keys from the The Breakdown
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ignition and get out of the car, making it look as if I’ve just arrived.
‘Beat you,’ I say, smiling at him.
‘You look hot,’ he remarks, giving me a kiss. ‘Didn’t you have the air conditioning on?’
‘I was only in Browbury, so I didn’t bother putting it on for the short journey home.’
‘Did you go shopping?’
‘Yes.’
‘Buy anything nice?’
‘No.’
We go towards the front door and he unlocks it with his keys. ‘Where’s your bag?’ he says, nodding at my empty hands.
‘In the car.’ I walk quickly into the house. ‘I’ll get it in a minute, I need a drink first.’
‘Hold on, let me turn the alarm off first! Oh, it’s not on.’ Behind me, I sense him frowning. ‘Didn’t you turn it on when you left?’
‘No, I didn’t think it was necessary as I didn’t intend staying out for long.’
‘Well, I’d rather you turned it on in future. Now that
we have an alarm, we may as well use it.’
Leaving him to go and change, I make some tea and
carry it out to the garden.
‘Don’t tell me you went out with those on,’ he says, when he joins me a few minutes later.
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I look down at my feet. Not wanting to give him
more to worry about I fake a laugh. ‘No, I just put them on.’
He smiles and sits down next to me, stretching his
long legs out. ‘So what did you do today, apart from shopping in Browbury?’
‘I prepared a few more lessons,’ I say, wondering why I’m not mentioning that I bumped into John.
‘That’s good.’ He looks at his watch. ‘Ten past seven.
When you’ve finished your tea, change your shoes and I’ll take you out to dinner. We may as well get the weekend off to a flying start.’
My heart sinks, because I’m still full after my lunch with John.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask doubtfully. ‘Wouldn’t you rather stay in?’
‘Not unless there’s some of your curry left from the other day.’
‘Sorry.’
‘So let’s go out for one, then.’
‘All right,’ I say, relieved he hasn’t suggested going to Costello’s for pasta.
*
I go upstairs to change and take a small bag from the wardrobe, hide it under my cardigan and while he’s putting on the alarm I go out to my car and make a
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show of taking it from behind the seat. We drive into
Browbury and go to our favourite Indian restaurant.
‘You know our new neighbour?’ I say while we’re