It was an answer, but it wasn’t good enough.
“If you believe that, why haven’t you let us go?” I felt the pinch from my nails digging into my thighs. “Why haven’t I been able to see or hold my son?”
“Believe it or not, I’m protecting you.”
“I don’t believe it,” I confirmed. “What do you think you’re protecting me from?”
“The bounty on your head?” he answered as if I was dimwitted. I was well aware of the bounty, but what he didn’t realize was that he was the only danger to me.
“Who will protect me from you?”
“Angel may not be many things, but he is loyal,” Z answered when Angel couldn’t. It was the first time I’d seen him speechless. I’d forgotten Z was even in the room. “He’ll protect you because you need it, and he owes you. It’s as simple as that.”
“I’m supposed to trust the man who had my son ripped from my arms while he slept?”
“Like I said… he owes you.”
“That’s not loyalty. That’s guilt.”
“I may be guilty, but I’m still in control,” he growled. “And you aren’t leaving until I say it’s safe.”
“I know the senator only agreed to pay me the money instead so I’d disappear. What makes you think I’m still in danger?”
“Because as long as you’re breathing, you’re a threat to his position and name. He’ll just pay someone double what he gave me to kill you.”
“What about the book? Isn’t the purpose to keep your clients under control?” His gaze slid to Z accusingly, but Z shrugged in an “it wasn’t me” gesture.
“The book holds power, but it doesn’t stop bullets.”
“I can leave Chicago.” I refused to accept that Angel was my only hope.
He was already shaking his head before I finished. “If I let you go, he’ll find you. One hundred and fifty stacks isn’t enough to get you out of his reach.”
I continued to argue, but he backed me into a corner at every turn until I was too mentally exhausted to keep up.
“Promise me you’ll stay, and I’ll give you back your son.”
No. Never. “I can’t do that.”
“Then I can’t trust you with him.”
“He’s my son.”
“You say that, but you aren’t putting his safety first like a mother should.”
“How the fuck would you know? Your mother was too busy hiding, and your father was too busy stealing livelihoods and getting blood on his hands.”
“And your father was right there with him.”
We both seemed to back down at the same time knowing our parents left lasting damage on both of us. Pointing fingers didn’t change our past, and it sure as fuck didn’t make our present easier to swallow.
At that moment, I made the decision to accept Angel’s protection. I wouldn’t do to Caylen what my parents did to me.
“I’m the one who was raped, yet I get imprisoned,” I muttered to myself.
His eyes flashed with something. Jealousy? Anger? I couldn’t put a finger on it, but I did not want to be on the other side of it.
“What did you just say?”
I swallowed even though my mouth and throat had long dried out. “Which part?”
“You know damn well which part, Mian.”
“I was raped, Angel. Is that what you would like to hear? I was slipped a drug after a party and woke up the next day with his come on my thighs and no memory of how it happened.” I didn’t mean to be so upfront, but the way he looked at me made me defensive. Reliving that night wasn’t exactly good for my mood either. But it was more than two years ago, and I was dealing with it.
Sort of.
“You were a virgin.” Z’s striking green eyes were troubled as he stared into mine. “Weren’t you?” He spoke softly. Maybe that was why I found myself nodding. “Jesus Christ…” He shoved his hands in his hair and met Angel’s hard gaze. “You need to erase that memory from her mind. Fucking destroy it.”
Just like that, the vibe in the room changed to something warmer and more dangerous. Before I could ask what he meant, I was pulled into his lap.
“What he did to you…” He wrapped his hand around my neck and tilted my head back to rest on his shoulder. “That isn’t the way a man should touch you.” I sucked in air when I felt his other arm wrap around my waist. “You should want it.” His fingertips skimmed my lips. “You should crave it.” I felt his hot breath on my neck. “And if he’s really good, you should beg for it.”
What was happening? One moment, I was arguing against staying with the man who had kidnapped my son, and the next, I was sitting in his partner’s lap as his husky voice did things I wasn’t proud of to my body.
“Am I scaring you?” I twisted my head enough to see genuine concern in Z’s green eyes. Once again , I found myself nodding. He didn’t scare me. He terrified me. “Do you like it?”
I didn’t know if the torturous feeling low in my stomach was right or wrong. It was akin to how Angel made me feel back when I was just a kid with a crush though it didn’t burn as hot.