“You mean joining the luiseach who murdered my parents?”
I take a few steps back, lifting my hand to cover my mouth as though I want to put the words I just said back inside. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Lucio sits on the bed and pats the empty space beside him. I cross the room and sit.
“I have thought about leaving,” he admits heavily. “After I passed my test, I thought I’m strong enough now.”
“Strong enough for what?” I ask, even though I think I know the answer.
“Strong enough to track down the luiseach who killed my parents and punish them for what they did.” He closes his eyes. “You can’t imagine how angry I was. Angry at Aidan for putting my parents in danger. Angry at my parents for staying with Aidan instead of having the good sense to join the other side of the rift before it was too late.” He opens his eyes and holds his gaze steady with mine. “Angry at you for being born and tearing all of us apart.” Lucio swallows hard. “So the day after I passed my test, I packed my bags and left this house before dawn. When I got outside, there was Aidan. Fully dressed in the middle of the night, leaning against Clementine like he didn’t have anywhere else to be.”
“What did he say?”
“I didn’t give him a chance to say much of anything at all. I started shouting, said I didn’t care that revenge went against everything we are—the light, the kindness, the forgiveness. We help all spirits move on—those who lived good lives and bad, without prejudice, you know?”
No one ever told me that, but then no one ever had to. I’ve never come across a spirit I didn’t want to help move on.
“I screamed that I was my parents’ son, and it was my job to exact justice. By the time I finally stopped shouting, my throat hurt and I was covered in sweat.”
“I know the feeling.” I think of my outburst in the courtyard. “What did Aidan say when you finally gave him a chance to get a word in?”
“He said that the luiseach on the other side believed what they believed as deeply as we believed what we did. They thought what they’d done was for the greater good too. So how could he hate them? He said he had never hated Helena, no matter how much she wanted to eliminate his child.” He pauses. “But he knew he couldn’t keep me from hating them, if that’s what I wanted. Then he got up and walked back into the house.”
“He didn’t try to stop you?”
Lucio shakes his head. “Nope. I thought for sure he’d block my way or lock me up or something. But he just stepped aside.”
“And that was it?”
Lucio smiles wryly. “Not quite. Before he went back inside the house, he reminded me that if I left Llevar la Luz, I wouldn’t live here anymore. Which meant that once I stepped foot off the property, I wouldn’t be able to come back without an express invitation from someone who did.”
“He told you he wouldn’t invite you back?”
“He didn’t have to.” He runs his hands over his scalp, a gesture I’ve come to recognize as a sign that he’s thinking about what to say next. “Llevar la Luz is the only home I’ve ever known. And Aidan is the only parent I’ve got left. And that morning, after Aidan left me alone, I sat on my motorcycle—a gift from Aidan and named by him—and watched the sunrise. I realized that as homes and adopted parents go, I didn’t have it that bad. I had a man who wanted me to turn my back on hate, to stay here and continue the research that he believed could save the world.”
“Do you believe it too?”
“I’m not sure,” Lucio answers honestly. “But Aidan does. And that’s enough.”
I bite my lip. “I’m not so sure he believes it anymore. Not after what happened today.”
Lucio nods. “Maybe not,” he concedes. “But I still believe in him.”
He reaches out and puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, but for once his touch isn’t reassuring. How can it be, when he pretty much admitted that Aidan might be planning to eliminate me too?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, leaning away from him. “I think I want to be alone.”
Lucio nods. “I’ll be around if you need me,” he offers.
“I know,” I answer. I try to smile, but my jaw muscles aren’t cooperating. “Thanks.”
As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, I take my phone from my back pocket. Nolan’s e-mail is still up on the screen, waiting for me to finish reading it. I scroll all the way down to the last paragraph.
I’m coming to get you, Sunshine. It’ll take me a while to make the drive down there—Google Maps says 34 hours, plus some time for traffic and pit stops—but just sit tight and wait for me. We’ll figure this out together. There has to be a way to undo what Aidan did.