Why would Aidan do this to me? I was beginning to like him—sort of—and at least starting to trust him. I even felt sorry for him! That empty nursery and the master bedroom frozen in time, the way he carried me from the lab and made me warm, plus the way he looked when he spoke about Helena—the woman he loved, the woman he gave up to save me.
But now . . . maybe he never really wanted to save me. He only wanted to control me. I trip over a root in the garden and stumble, but I manage to catch myself before I fall to the ground, tightening the muscles in my core. Out of breath, I stand still, trying to gather my thoughts. Maybe all Aidan ever cared about was being right and proving everyone else wrong.
I stand in the center of the courtyard between the mansion and the lab building and shout Aidan’s name until I’m hoarse. I recall a snippet of Estella’s life that I saw earlier: a fight between her youngest daughter and her husband. Estella took her daughter’s side, screaming and shouting until her husband saw reason. I know I’m not alone. When we first moved to Ridgemont, I thought that living in a haunted house meant that I’d never really be alone again. But now I understand that I will never be alone, not as long as I am able to help spirits move on. As long as I help them move on, some part of them will stay with me.
When Aidan finally emerges into the sun, I hold my phone out in front of me so he can read what Nolan wrote.
He looks every bit as uncomfortable as he did on the plane that day when I first asked him about Nolan. Now I know it had nothing to do with being a normal father, nervous about the idea of his teenage daughter dating. Now I know there’s nothing normal about it. It was just another secret he kept. A trick he played on me.
“How could you?”
“I limited your ability to touch anyone romantically.”
“I know that,” I shake the phone for emphasis. “But why?”
“I knew we would be apart for sixteen years. I couldn’t keep you from human relationships—with your mother, your friends. But I thought I might be able to keep you from falling in love.” Is that why I never felt sick when Lucio and I touched? Because all along, I had . . . stronger feelings for someone else?
“What’s wrong with falling in love?” I’m still panting from running across the campus. Or maybe because I can’t stop crying. I stuff my phone into the back pocket of my shorts, right next to the rusty knife.
For an instant Aidan looks sadder than I’ve ever seen him. Sadder than I’ve ever seen anyone. Sadder than Victoria looked when she told me about Anna and her husband. Sadder than Mom looked the day she let me leave.
“You know what’s wrong with it,” Aidan says gently.
I shake my head. What is this guy talking about?
“I would have put the same measures in place between you and Katherine if I could have, but because you were a baby when she adopted you, I knew you needed to be touched, carried, held.”
“Kat,” I correct through gritted teeth. Aidan keeps speaking as though I never said a word, but when he mentions her again he uses the correct name so I know he heard me.
“And, of course, I needed you to bond with Kat to ensure that she would want to raise you.”
I take a step back. I can’t stand the way he talks about my relationship with Mom—so . . . clinically, like it only existed to get me safely to my sixteenth birthday, when he could take over.
I’ve never missed my mother so much in my entire life. And that’s counting the months when she was possessed by a demon.
I lift what’s left of my hair off of my neck. It seems miraculous that back at home it’s still winter. Ridgemont is probably drenched in fog and covered in clouds so thick that not even a single ray of sunlight can break through. People are rushing to and from their cars, blowing on their hands to keep warm, wool hats pulled tightly over their heads. Maybe there’s snow on the ground.
A cool breeze fills the air, drying my sweat. The spirits in Aidan’s lab can’t escape, but they’re making their nearby presence known. The breeze whips what’s left of my hair off my shoulders. I shiver.
From the look on Aidan’s face, it’s obvious he notices the change in the air too. But I’m not about to let him change the subject.
“My mother did more than raise me. She loved me, because that’s what good parents do.” The words I don’t say hang in the air between us. Kat is a good parent. Unlike Helena. Unlike you.
“I know,” Aidan answers wearily. “I must admit, I was hoping you wouldn’t be quite as close as you are.”
Why? I can’t even get the word out. Is everything all science and research to him?
The answer hits me so suddenly that I stop crying and panting and sweating. I might stop breathing altogether for a few heartbeats. I just stand there in the breeze, stunned.