“I think I’m broke,” Poppy moaned as she hoisted herself up from the hard-tiled floor they’d been dumped on, looking down in disgust at her leggings, which now had a jagged tear in them. A stray cotton ball from the chest hair she’d made for her costume fell to the ground in a sad plop, and her wig was a tangled mess on the floor.
Shit. Hal’s House of Howl was never going to take this costume back now.
But that was okay because a place to sleep was in the offing. Room and board, baby.
Calamity hopped around in front of her with a scoff. “You can thank the vampire for that. It’s a bumpy enough ride to the realm even with the wand. But using the wand’s like flying first class. When we just use straight-up magic, you’re in the cheap seats.”
“I said I forgot, okay? Jesus, get off my jock, would you?” Nina groused as she rose on her long limbs from the pristine white floor and rolled her head on her neck.
Now Calamity did a little dance and taunted, “Is that how you’re supposed to use your words, Vampire? Doc Malone would be ashamed.”
Poppy worked her way up the wall using her palms as she took in the long, sterile hallway leading to a wide white door. Bending at the waist, she scooped up her fallen wig. “Who’s Doc Malone?”
“Our witch therapist. She’s helping me to cope with this damn boil on my ass,” Nina snarled, flashing her teeth.
Calamity hissed right back at Nina. “Oh, shut your pie hole. It’s the other way around. If not for Doc Malone, I’d have zapped your supermodel butt to Mars by now.”
Wanda had somehow managed to remain infuriatingly upright during their journey, wherein one minute they’d been standing in her friend’s driveway, then the next, squeezed like sausages from a casing into this hallway. “Come to Auntie Wanda, Calamity,” she cooed, patting her knee.
Nina’s beautiful face scrunched up in confusion. “Wanda? What the shit? Stop babying her while she laps this attention up like milk.”
And then Wanda made a face at Nina, rolling her eyes as she smoothed stray strands of her hair back in place and her posture took on the look of royalty. “Hush, you animal! How many times have I told you, you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar? Why must you always be so hard on her? She’s just a little thing who’s been thrust into our world without consent. She needs love and attention, not berating.”
Nina narrowed her eyes at Wanda. “Fuck your vinegar, and yeah, she’s so little and lost she managed to turn someone into a familiar. She might be little on the outside, but her inside is big on trouble. Quit coddling the out-of-control cat or I’m gonna whip up a spell and turn you into a damn mannequin in the girdle aisle at Macy’s.”
Calamity swirled in and out of Wanda’s ankles, clearly pleased she had such a devout ally. “Don’t worry, Wanda. She can’t even turn water into a Capri Sun. No way she can turn you into a mannequin. I’ll protect you.”
Wanda giggled, reaching down and stroking Calamity’s back.
Nina’s outraged expression as she circled the pair made Poppy press herself to the hallway wall, clinging to her wig.
“I said knock it the fuck off, Wanda, or—”
The clack of Marty’s heeled boots as she finally rose jarred Poppy, and made both Nina and Wanda turn their heads in her direction. “I can’t even believe it’s me saying this, but if the two of you don’t quit with the arguing over Calamity like she’s some kind of ribeye in the height of a zombie apocalypse, I’ll put you both through a wall. Got me? Wanda, I don’t know what’s happening with you these days, but you’re doing everything you possibly can to provoke Nina, and I’ve about had it right up to the tip of my bleached-blonde roots! Since when am I the one who has to mediate? Does anyone see the absurdity in this?”
When no one answered Marty with anything other than pursed lips and angry eyes, she continued, her gaze fixed on Wanda. “Last I checked, it was your job, sister, but lately, you’ve been all wrapped up in devilishly poking Nina, using Calamity as your stick.”
And still, they all remained freakishly quiet.
But Marty wasn’t done. Then she strolled toward Nina, her hair swishing about her shoulders, her index finger in motion. “And you, Wicked Half-Witch of The East—cut it the hell out! You’d better find some kind of common ground with Calamity and find it soon because she’s here forever, or I’m going to put you in the ground. Clear?”