“I never said it does!” I exclaim, crossing my arms over my chest for some semblance of comfort. We’ve argued before, but never like this. “I was just trying to help you understand. I didn’t know she was going to say all that.”
He huffs out a mean, menacing laugh and a scary, dark cynicism shadows his eyes. “You just don’t get it, Vi. You haven’t suffered as I have. There’s no quick fix for me. There’s no easy bandage for my kind of pain.”
“Pain is pain, Hayden!” I screech in frustration and mindlessly stamp my foot. His eyes glower down at the action. “You don’t have to have suffered through the worst of pain to have empathy.”
“I don’t need your empathy!” he shouts, his tone reaching a high, manic level. I think I preferred the dark, ominous Hayden better. He shoves his hands through his hair, yanking at the roots before letting go. “I’ve been trying to protect what I’ve got going here. Telling myself that I don’t need you in order to be healthy because I’m doing this all on my own. Then you bring me to this crazy bird who tells me you’re my life mate!”
“Stop,” I grind out through clenched teeth, but it falls on deaf ears.
“It’s fucking mental, Vi! All of it. One person can’t depend on another that much. Soul mates? Christ. We ran into each other. I thought you were hot. End of. Let’s not magic this into something bigger than it is.”
My legs feel like they’ve been kicked out from under me, but he still doesn’t slow.
“And what’s with you hiding shit from me? I’ve told you so much, Vi. So much that you could write a damn book about me. You hiding that stuff about your mum feels like I’ve been lied to all this time.”
My stomach convulses at his spot-on accusation. “I wanted to mention it, but I was scared, Hayden. I never knew much about my mum. And it’s always been an odd feeling to share a birthday with someone I barely remember. So to have her death anniversary mean something to you would be like just another part of my life tainted by her. And 11:11 is important to you…not me.”
“Oh, whatever,” he growls. “I was doing just fine on my own until you came along. I made it through Reyna, through rehab, through living with my parents, through a bloody speech at the gala. I’ll make it through you. I don’t need to depend on anyone in order to be healthy.”
Needles prick behind my eyes.
“And what happens when I go off the rails again? What then?” he snaps, his gaze glacial as he steps within inches of my face, towering over me with his most intimidating stance. His scent toys with my emotions as his hot breath on my face speaks in acerbic tones. “I’m going to crash and I’ll take both of us down with me. You’re going to get caught in the crossfire and I will ruin you. If what that woman said has an ounce of truth to it and you are my twin flame, then that means anything I do has the potential to fucking kill you. It might not be with a blade across your wrists, but I promise you it will hurt.”
I bite my lip as tears flood my vision. I look away, my face fixed and frozen. I need to remain silent so he stops.
Just wait till he’s finished, Vi. Just wait. He’s just processing. Saying anything right now would be like poking a bear. Don’t poke the bear.
He moves to walk away, but I catch his arm as quiet words escape my constricting throat. “Getting hurt is part of being alive.”
“Alive?” He swerves back to me with a haughty bark of a laugh. “That’s a joke when you’re talking about me.” He slinks his hands up my wrists and clutches my arms harshly. “Look at me, Vi. You don’t have anything good with me. It’s best you find that out now.”
His face crushes me. His eyes are merely hollow shells of the man who’s been opening up to me the last few weeks. He moves to turn away from me, but before he lets go of my arms, an explosion erupts from the very depths of my soul.
“You don’t get to keep forever to yourself!” I scream loudly into his face and shove his chest with all my might. He blinks hard as if the outburst broke some protective shell around him. My emotional shove proves more effective than my physical. Acidic tears slide over my lips and into my mouth, the salty liquid doing nothing to quench the burning in my chest. My spit is thick in my throat as I touch my hands to his face. He flinches like the tips of my fingers are made of razor blades. My voice trembles as I utter, “Hayden, I love you.”