I nod, but don’t believe him. Not for a second. He gives me a quick kiss and I scoot out the door. I’m almost to my car when I feel an arm grab me.
“Colt, I . . . .” I turn around and it’s not Colter, it’s his mother, and she’s glaring at me.
“Stay away from my son.”
“I can’t.” It’s true. If I could, I would have pushed him away a long time ago.
“You’re not good for him. I’m sure you’re a nice enough girl. But Colter needs to be with someone . . . .”
“Someone more like Kirstyn?” She’s right, though. I’m not good for him, but her insult still stings.
“Just not someone like you. I’m sorry.”
I recoil against the car. I’m not surprised she’s saying the words. She’s been wanting to. “I have to go.”
“Look, it’s nothing personal. I just want my son to be happy.”
I glare at her. “No, you don’t.”
She opens her mouth like she’s going to say something else, but closes it before words can come out. She stalks off in a huff as I get the hell out of there.
37
4 Days
“That’s right, hold the note in place and . . . fade,” Aunt Sue says as we let our voices go silent. “Great job. We’ll pick it up next class.” The bell rings. “Study your parts. See you tomorrow.”
Colter grins at me as he walks out the door, and Janie comes up beside me. “You’ve got it bad.”
“You’re one to talk.”
She giggles. “You’re right.”
“Girls, we’ll only need a half-hour or so to practice your duet later,” Aunt Sue says, interrupting us.
After our last class, Janie and I meet back in the choir room and we both sit in the front while Aunt Sue gets ready at the piano. “Okay, let’s take it from the beginning.”
She begins to play and the notes seep out of me as my voice takes over. Janie and I sing together and it sounds amazing. Music is an escape I don’t make use of as often as I should. I forgot how much I loved to sing with someone else, to feel the emotion of another person through the notes. Janie’s become too close to me. Jackson, Colter—all of them. I’ve done a horrible job of pushing any of them away.
We finish practice and Janie turns to me before leaving. “So, I found another random awesome eighties movie, Can’t Buy Me Love. Have you seen it? Please tell me you haven’t, ’cause I really want to watch it with you.”
I laugh. “I’ve never heard of it. Who’s in it?”
“Mc-fucking-Dreamy.”
“From Grey’s Anatomy?”
“Yep. He’s a geek in it, which I can’t imagine. So, your house, tonight?” she says.
“Sure, why not.”
“Oh, and don’t forget about costume shopping on Friday.”
“Got it.” I smile.
She runs over and gives me a hug. I’m so surprised, I don’t hug her back. “Jackson’s waiting for me, but thank you. I’ll see you tonight. I hope it’s okay I just invited myself over like that.”
“It’s fine. Can’t wait to see it.”
She grabs her backpack and heads out the door.
I sit in one of the chairs and bury my face in my hands. “I’m such a bitch.”
“Hey, you can’t talk to my girl like that.” It’s Colter’s voice, but I don’t lift my head to see him.
The chair beside me squeaks as Colter sits down. He drapes an arm around my shoulder and pulls me toward him. “What’s wrong?”
I lean against him and feel his heartbeat against me. “Janie. She’s become a good friend and I feel like . . . .”
“Like you’re a bitch for thinking about leaving her?”
“Yeah. And other people, too.”
“It comes with the territory.”
“I know.” I lift my head and look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to talk about this with me.”
“You’re wrong. I didn’t get a chance with Ryan. I just had to accept it. But you. You’re letting me in.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not like that.”
“It’s not? It looks like that to me.”
Is he right?
He takes a deep breath and that cute expression, his smile, they fade and I watch his face go through all the emotions he must be feeling. The desperation of wanting to say the right thing to change my mind, the frustration that nothing he says will work, the feeling of being abandoned. But it doesn’t matter, because Tate is gone. And no matter what I feel for him, I can’t get rid of that. It haunts me constantly. His kisses are the best, his sweet smiles are perfect, but I’m going to leave them on Halloween.
“Ellery,” he says with a serious tone. “So, it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me . . . every day.”
My heart stops beating momentarily, then I process what he actually said. It’s really familiar like I heard it in the . . . . “Oh my God, The Notebook? Really?”
He laughs. “It was getting too serious.”