Sunday Morning (Damaged #7.5)

 

Showering, I scrubbed my skin extra rough. I wanted to smell good for Jodi. This thought was fucking stupid. I couldn’t help myself with Jodi, who made me dumber than when I was a horny teen looking to land my first lay.

 

I found her sitting on the couch, watching Jaws on TV. She glanced at me and then stood up and walked to the kitchen where I opened a beer can.

 

“We need to get food,” I said.

 

“I don’t have money for food. Robin already used our food stamps for the month.”

 

“It’s my place. I’ll pay.”

 

“Are you mad about me staying here?”

 

Crossing my arms, I studied her perfect face. Jodi’s blue eyes revealed true fear at my reaction. I liked seeing her scared. If she knew how much power she had over me, I’d be a dead man.

 

“Think your mom would notice if you didn’t come home?”

 

“No. She sleeps all day and is wasted all night.”

 

“So you’ll stay here then.”

 

“Are you done waiting then?” she asked, not fucking around.

 

“Do you even know how to play things coy?”

 

“I don’t even know what ‘coy’ means, Kirk. I like your apartment, and I don’t like my place. I want to stay here, but I want to know what you want. Is that playing coy?”

 

“No,” I said, reaching out and caressing the soft skin on her bronzed skin. “I like your honesty better anyway.”

 

“So what do you want?”

 

“You in my bed,” I said, not fucking around either.

 

Jodi’s eyes widened slightly, but she recovered quickly. Nodding, she glanced at my bedroom.

 

“Now?”

 

I laughed. “Is that what you’d be willing to do to stay?”

 

“What the fuck do you meaning by willing? I think about you all the time. In my head, we’re already together.”

 

Her words nailed me hard in the gut, but I refused to let her see me weak. “Your fantasies ain’t the real world, kid.”

 

“Don’t call me that. It’s your way of saying I’m not good enough for you,” she said, frowning ugly at me. “If you need remembering, do it silently.”

 

Fuck, I loved when she stood up to me. She was nervous, though. About going to my bedroom. About staying with me. Mostly, I thought she was afraid I’d change my mind and kick her out.

 

“I have this feeling,” I told her after taking a big swig of beer, “that once I get you in my bed, I won’t want you leaving it.”

 

“What’s wrong with that? Is fucking one woman for too long bad for your reputation?”

 

“Screw my reputation. Also, what I’m thinking about with you isn’t simple fucking, and besides, you’re not a woman.”

 

Jodi took my last comment as an insult. “And you think I’ll magically turn into a woman once I’m eighteen? Or are you just waiting for it to be legal? I think it’s probably legal in Tennessee already.”

 

I laughed. “Do you really think I give a shit about the fucking law?”

 

Walking with my beer to a tiny table near a window, I smiled at Jodi thinking the law kept me from sweeping her up and walking us to bed.

 

“I’d prefer anarchy or street justice than any laws The Man designs. The fucking law,” I said, still chuckling.

 

“Why wait?” she asked without joining me at the table. “Do you think you’re protecting me?”

 

“You? No, baby, I’m protecting myself by waiting.”

 

Looking confused, Jodi finally sat in the spare chair. “I don’t get it.”

 

“When I was your age, I was a fickle bitch. Thought I knew everything too. What did I tell you when you were having issues with those bitches at school?”

 

“In five years, it won’t matter.”

 

“Yeah, and I can see me getting all wound up over you, and then you deciding you need to experience life more than an old fogey like me can give you.”

 

“Old fogey,” she muttered, smiling. “So you don’t want to hook up because I could dump you.”

 

“My old man heart can’t survive you stomping on it.”

 

Still smiling, Jodi studied me. “How long will you wait before your old man heart can take the chance with my fickle one?”

 

“I don’t know. A decade? A year? A day? Hell, maybe I won’t last an hour.”

 

Jodi’s gaze softened, revealing her insecurities about this situation. I was the first real guy in her life. I ought to wish she came with more experience and baggage to make us equal. Instead, I liked knowing I was the only man to make her feel this way. She was certainly the only woman to make me feel this fucking weak.

 

“So I can still stay here?”

 

Giving her a nod, I downed the rest of the beer while wishing I’d bought a coffee pot. Most days, I went down to the local diner for coffee and breakfast.

 

“What about your plan to wait?” she asked, watching me like a hawk. “Won’t waiting be harder if I’m here?”