My stomach was in knots. While Ida just helped solidify the conclusion I was starting to draw on my own, it was still hard to absorb the harshness of that reply. I knew that walking away was the right thing to do, but how do you walk away from the best thing that ever happened to you?
She had a point too: there was no way Graham would let me go easily unless he thought I’d betrayed him. Cheating was the one thing he would never tolerate. The thought of deceiving him like that was so painful that it made my skin crawl. I honestly couldn’t see another solution, though. There was certainly no way I could look him in the eyes and tell him I didn’t love him. I had to get him to break up with me out of anger, and there was only one way to do that.
Was I insane for considering pretending to cheat just so he’d leave me? Or was it an honorable and selfless move for the sake of a child’s well-being? I almost couldn’t believe what I was pondering.
After tossing and turning the entire night, I came to a decision and devised a reluctant game plan. Tomorrow, I would give myself one last night with him, enjoy him, let myself love him one last time. Then, I would begin the process of distancing myself until I could figure out how to make it appear that there was someone else. I reminded myself that while I couldn’t go back and change my own childhood, I had the power to change Chloe’s.
This was going to hurt like hell. I couldn’t do it alone. There was only one person I knew who wouldn’t try to talk me out of it.
I picked up my phone and sent a text to Tig.
I need your help.
CHAPTER 27
GRAHAM
THIS PARENTING THING wasn’t for sissies.
Even though Chloe didn’t know I was really her father, I treated her no differently than if she did. I made sure she got to see me almost every day and made her a top priority.
Last night was particularly rough because I’d never dealt with a sick child before. Genevieve thought it would be a good idea if I took the lead in caring for Chloe. If my daughter was going to be spending time at my place eventually, I needed to know how to take care of her in sickness and in health.
Chloe mainly just wanted me to hold her and read to her. The poor thing had pus coming out of her ears and was burning up. I felt helpless because there was nothing I could do to really make her feel better aside from just being there. She was growing more attached to me every day. It proved that despite the distance between us over the years, there was such a thing as an innate connection between a father and child.
Thank God Soraya was being so understanding about all of it. I missed her like crazy. I was starting to have serious withdrawals. As much as I loved spending time with my daughter, I needed to see my girlfriend tonight. I needed to feel her * wrapped around my cock. I needed to fist a handful of that sexy raven hair. I needed to hear that sound she made when she came with me inside of her. Shit…I needed to tell her once and for all how much I loved her.
Luck was on my side because Chloe was feeling a bit better. The antibiotics were starting to kick in. After having an early dinner with her, I headed straight to Soraya’s. I was going to have the car pick her up and take her to my place, but she said she preferred I come to her. I’d joked that I’d be happy to come anywhere she wanted tonight.
When she opened the door, I immediately buried my face in her neck, breathing in her vanilla perfume. That smell practically got me high.
“Fuck. I’ve missed you,” I said against her skin. “How did you get even more gorgeous?”
It was a relief to see that the tips of her hair were still blue. A tight, matching royal blue dress hugged her heaving chest. As much as I wanted to rip that dress down and suck on her nipples hard, I’d equally just really missed her smile, her laugh, her snarky attitude. Even though we hadn’t been apart for very long, being immersed in fatherhood felt like I’d been a world away from the other important part of my life. I loved my daughter, but my home was with Soraya.
Lowering my hand down her back, I asked, “You hungry?”
“No. You mentioned you had dinner with Chloe, so I just grazed on stuff.”
It seemed like something was bothering her. “Something on your mind?”
She hesitated. “No.”
“What did you want to do tonight? We could go get a drink, see a movie, whatever you want.”
“Can we just stay here?”
“You know I’ll never complain about getting you all to myself.”
“How’s Chloe doing tonight?”
“She’s much better. The doctor put her on penicillin, and the ear pain’s gone down significantly.”
“I’m so glad to hear that.”
My eyes wandered over to the sink. I noticed that there were two dirty wine glasses. A rush of adrenaline hit me.
Two glasses? Who the fuck was here?
“Did you have company?”
Her face turned flush. “Um…actually, my father came by.”