Strong Enough

“So what’s up?” Ellen pulled her hair into a ponytail, then picked up her coffee cup.

My stomach was jittery. Telling Gage had felt easier, for some reason. I opened my mouth to speak, closed it, took a sip of coffee, fussed with my napkin in my lap. “I have to tell you something, but it’s difficult to say.”

“Let me help. You and Maxim.”

I stared at her. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

She rolled her eyes. “Because I’m your sister and sisters know everything. But really, anyone with two eyes and half a brain could have guessed it.”

“Really?”

“Really. You weren’t fooling anyone. Not very well, anyway.”

“Huh.” I scratched my head.

“But I get why you tried to. This isn’t easy for you.”

“No.” I frowned. “It isn’t. And Mom and Dad—”

“Are not part of this. These are your feelings and you have to own them. I know what Mom and Dad think, but if they love you, and they do, they will want you to be happy.”

“They might never accept this, or him.”

She shrugged. “Then it will be their loss. Maxim is amazing.”

“He is.”

“So give them a chance to accept it. This is a big change, and it might take some getting used to. But it’s okay.” She leaned forward and ruffled my hair. “You’re okay.”

“Stop it.” Laughing, I pushed her hand away and tried to fix my hair.

She grinned and sat back, picking up her coffee cup again. “Have you talked to Maxim yet?”

“No. Is he working tonight?”

“He’s supposed to.”

“Maybe I can catch him before he goes in. I don’t really want to do it in public.”

“Isn’t that the point?”

I frowned. “Yes and no. He’s still Russian. Just because he wants to be open about the relationship doesn’t mean he’d be comfortable with a big scene at work.”

“True. But I still think you should talk to him as soon as possible. He’s been really sad about this.”

My heart squeezed. “He’s talked about it?”

“Not much. But I’m good at reading people. Don’t drag this out. You guys deserve to be happy, and life is short.”

“You’re right. I don’t want to live this way anymore. I suddenly feel like I’ve wasted so much time pretending to be someone else.”

“Does your real self still have the thing about paper napkins?”

I glared at her. “Yes.”

She laughed. “Good. You can’t totally take away my big brother. I kind of like him.”

“Thanks. Hey, can he have tomorrow off? I want to bring him to Gage’s son’s birthday party.”

She smiled back. “That’s a great idea. Absolutely.”



After breakfast, I went to the mall to pick out a gift for Will. I roamed the aisles of the toy store aimlessly, trying to think of what a six-year-old boy would like, but coming up empty. When I noticed a kid who looked about that age standing with his father in the Lego section, I decided to ask for advice.

“Excuse me. I have to buy a present for someone who’s turning six. Can you maybe point me in the right direction?”

“Oh, I bet Mason can. He’s six, too.” The guy ruffled his son’s hair. “Which one do you like best, Mase?”

“This one.” He pointed to a box with a big Lego helicopter on it.

“We did like that one,” his father agreed, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Perfect. Sold.” I took the box off the shelf and tucked it under my arm.

“There you are.” Another man holding a shopping bag and the hand of a little girl maybe two or three years old walked toward us. “We thought we lost you. We’re all set.”

“Mason wanted to look at the Legos,” explained the man in the glasses.

“Dad, can I get one please?” the kid asked the guy holding the hand of the girl.

“No,” the men answered together.

“Let’s go.” The guy with the glasses smiled at me. “Have a good one.”

I nodded and watched in awe as the perfect little family walked away from me.

Ellen would have called it fate. Maxim might have called it a sign from the universe. A month ago, I’d have rolled my eyes and called it a coincidence. Today, I saw it as something more—proof.

With love, anything was possible.





Thirty-Seven





MAXIM



I spent the entire week after rejecting Derek’s offer to talk outside at The Blind Pig wondering if I’d made the wrong decision. But every time I thought it through, I came to the same conclusion—I couldn’t give in just because I missed him or because he looked as miserable as I felt or because it would feel so good to be in his arms again. I might not have had much in the way of material wealth, but I had pride.

So when he called me the following Saturday afternoon, I almost didn’t pick up. But something in my gut told me to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good. Hey, I’ve got something to show you. Can I give you a ride to work?”

I stiffened. “I don’t know.”

“Please, Maxim. Give me one hour, as a favor. That’s all I need.”

The thought of saying no to a favor for Derek was unthinkable. He’d done way more than one favor for me. Maybe he needed help with something. “But I have to be at work by five-thirty.”

“No problem. I’ll pick you up at three, okay?”

“Okay. See you then.”



I was nervous, waiting for Derek to arrive. I’d gone down to the parking lot so he wouldn’t have to get out of his car and come get me, and I was sort of pacing back and forth on the sidewalk when he pulled up. At the sight of him behind the wheel, my stomach muscles clenched. I got in the passenger side and shut the door, my heart beating erratically.

“Hey,” he said, smiling sideways at me. A little apprehensive, maybe, but much more relaxed than he’d been the last few times I’d seen him.

“Hey,” I echoed warily.

“You look a little scared.” He wore sunglasses, so I couldn’t read his eyes, but his tone was light, teasing.

“Not scared. Just curious, I guess. Wondering what this is about.”

“Let me show you.” He pulled away from my complex. “It’s a short drive. Twenty minutes or so.”

I tried to think of where he might be taking me, but I couldn’t.

“So tell me what’s going on with you.”

I miss you every day. “I’ve been working a lot.”

“Ellen told me. That’s great.”

I’m lonely at night. “I bought a used laptop, and I’m taking an English course online. Mechanics and grammar, things like that.”

“Good for you.”

Nothing feels good without you. “And I met someone who works at Paramount as a screen writer.”

“Really? Where?”

“He’s a regular at the bar. Ellen introduced me. And he offered to let me shadow him at work a little bit, to get a feel for the job. I won’t get paid, of course, it would be more as a favor, but I don’t mind. Everyone has to start somewhere.”

“Of course they do. That’s fantastic, Maxim. I’m so happy for you.”

“I wanted to tell you about it right away,” I admitted. “But I wasn’t sure I should call you.”

“I understand.” He didn’t say anything else, and I wondered again where he could possibly be taking me.

A few minutes later, I recognized the neighborhood we were in, and I sat up taller in my seat. “The house.”

He grinned. “The house.”