“When she puts it like that, it does sound insane.” Allie patted my cheek again.
I sat up with a sigh and leaned back in my chair, gripping my glass by the stem and twisting it on the coaster. “It is, okay? It's insane. I am insane.”
“So call him,” Jaz said.
As if it was that simple. I wouldn't have let him go if it was that simple.
Maybe I shouldn't have let him go.
“I'm trying to get my head around this.” Lucie leaned forward, propping her chin up on her hands. Her elbow almost slipped on a wet patch on the table, sending her hand toward her wine glass, but Jaz's lightning-quick reflexes saved it from certain death. “Thanks,” she said to her before turning her attention back to me. “Seriously, Mia, all joking aside. If he wants a serious relationship with you, what's the problem? I know you don't exactly have... well, anything that remotely resembles even mediocre success in the dating pool, but he isn't like the guys you usually hook up with.”
“She's right,” Jaz agreed. “He's older than them. He's successful—owns a business, his house, his car. Doesn't want a casual hook up which is always a plus.”
“And lives in Las Vegas,” I pointed out. “While I live here.”
All three of my friends blinked at me. “That's the excuse you're using?” Jaz demanded before anyone else could say a word. “Seriously? All of those amazing qualities that are like right up there on the list of the perfect guy and you're worried because he lives an hour's plane ride away?”
“Well...” I squirmed in my seat.
“Course she is,” Allie said absentmindedly. “It's how she's justifying her fear of commitment and general lack of trust in the male species. He doesn't live within reasonable driving distance, so they may not see each other regularly, even if you consider the flexibility of their jobs. On from that, he owns two strip clubs, both of which in one way or another are filled with gorgeous, attractive women who would give an ovary to spend an hour with him, so why would he wait until he could see her again when he could get an itch scratched right there and then? Not to mention the fact he is older than her, so is he thinking about marriage and babies sooner than she is? Because that's a helluva big turn off if he's emotionally further in the relationship than she is. And when it gets serious? Who moves? He can't because of his business and she's got roots deeper than a hundred year old tree which, ironically, if she stopped being such a pussy would probably die.”
“That's completely unfair,” I muttered.
Except, it was entirely true. And it stung. I could feel the sharpness of the truth as it crawled across my skin, forcing the hair on my arms to stand on end.
“Not to mention there has to be something wrong with him because he's so perfect.” She was on a roll. “I mean, come on. Hot, successful, wealthy, good in bed? He has to be a serial cheater or something equally outrageous because it's impossible to find a guy who is all of the above and faithful and committed.”
I squirmed.
“So, to sum up, yes. That's the excuse she's using because she's not willing to delve into herself and see all the shit she's making up inside her head to justify her irrational fear of relationships.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it again. See, that was the problem with a lifelong best friend. You couldn't hide shit from them.
She'd basically just ripped my soul out of my body, flipped through it like a book, and gave a very public reading.
And hearing it out loud, from someone else, even without judgment in their tone? How stupid did it sound? How completely and utterly irrational was my brain?
“It's a viable excuse,” I said weakly. “It's a long-ish distance relationship.”
“It's a bullshit excuse,” Lucie responded, matter-of-factly.
The evidence apparently supported that. I didn't really have another argument to make. Allie had summed up everything I'd been thinking in the past two weeks in less than five minutes, completely ripping my thought processes apart.
Jaz and Lucie had helped there too. Bitches.
“Now I'm not saying it is,” Allie said, twirling her wine glass between her finger and thumb. “In a roundabout way, it makes sense.”
“Don't encourage her!” Jaz nudged her.
I glared.
Allie rolled her eyes and flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder. “West is a big risk. Long distance relationships require almost more work than ones where you're together. I'm pretty sure that when Joe went away for work for a month last year it was the hardest time in our relationship, and we currently have Family World War One being hosted right here in San Diego. So, yeah. He's a risk, and the dedication they'd both need is insanely crazy.”