“OxyContin?” he said. “Why are you traveling with narcotics?”
“Don’t look at that!” Cash demanded. “Give it back.”
“Is this what you’ve been taking?”
The actor’s face filled with shame—it was the first time they’d seen him embarrassed about something.
“It’s not what you think,” he said. “Look, I got injured on the set of Wiz Kids a couple months ago and I’ve been trying to wean myself off—”
“You’ve been popping these like vitamins since our trip started! That’s hardly weaning yourself off,” Topher said, and came to a disturbing realization. “Holy shit—you’re an addict! Everyone was right about you! We’ve been protecting you and defending you this whole time—and you’ve been lying to us!”
Cash let out a low and sinister laugh as he repacked his things.
“It sure is rich to be called a liar by you lot,” he said. “I mean, thou without their own secrets cast the first stone. Oh that’s right, you can’t, because you’ve all been lying to each other, too!”
Topher couldn’t see his friends behind him, but the comment made Joey, Sam, and Mo very tense.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Topher said. “We don’t keep secrets from each other.”
“Oh really?” Cash asked. “Shall I go down the list?”
“Cash, no!” Sam said.
“Please stop,” Mo said.
“Don’t do this, man,” Joey said.
Topher was very confused by the pleading expressions on his friends’ faces. It was like everyone knew something he didn’t.
“Why is everyone freaking out?” he asked.
“Let’s go in a circle,” Cash said. “Joey’s gay—I caught him on a date with a guy he met on a gay hookup app. Mo’s throwing her life away—she’s only going to Stanford to please her father. Sam’s transgender and the only reason he’s hiding it is because Topher’s in love with him and he’s in love with Topher. Did I miss anyone?”
Everyone froze as if Cash’s words had turned them into stone. They had never in their lives felt more exposed, more violated, or more gutted. It was as if someone had ripped off all their clothes and chucked their hearts into the depths of the Grand Canyon. Cash knew what he had just said was horrible and inhumane, but it was too late to take it back. The damage was done.
“I can see a hiking party headed this way,” he said. “I’m going to ask them if someone will give me a ride to the nearest town.”
The actor struggled with how to say good-bye to the kids from Downers Grove, but the right sentiment never came. Instead of saying anything, Cash just hurried through the trees toward the hikers he saw and disappeared from sight. Topher, Joey, Sam, and Mo didn’t follow him, though. In fact, they stayed exactly where they were, silent and still, until it was dark outside.
As the sun set over the Grand Canyon that evening, it didn’t just mark the end of an emotional week or a terrible day for the four friends, but the end of an era for Wizzers all around the world.
Chapter Twenty-One
CALIFORNIA DREAMING
The seven-and-a-half hour drive to Santa Monica, California, the following day was the most uncomfortable ride of their lives. The four best friends felt like complete strangers as they traveled the last five hundred miles to their destination. Each passenger stayed quiet but their minds were rabid with their own unique blends of shock and shame. It wasn’t until the station wagon crossed the state line of California that anyone said a word.
“So… we’re just not going to talk about it?” Mo asked. “We’re just going to sit here and pretend we don’t know each other?”
“Do we?” Joey asked.
“Yes, we do,” she said assertively. “Maybe it’s easier for me because my secret was the least surprising, but I don’t think this is as big of a deal as we’re making it. I’m sure we all had good reasons for keeping the secrets we did—but it’s not like we don’t trust or care for one another.”
Mo was eager for the healing to begin. She looked each of her friends in the eye and told them exactly how she felt about their situations.
“Joey, I have always wanted a gay best friend. I’m not mad because you hid your orientation from me; I’m just upset because of all the Will & Grace opportunities we’ve missed out on. Sam, it doesn’t bother me for one second that you’re transgender. I only wish you had told me sooner so I could have felt ahead of the times by smothering you with my love and support. And, Topher, I don’t care that you have a crush on Sam. The only reason it bums me out is because I always thought you had a crush on me.”
“Did you want me to?” Topher asked from the driver’s seat.
“Of course not—you’re like my brother,” Mo said. “It was just a nice self-esteem boost from time to time. I’m gonna miss it.”