I sat still for a minute longer, just straining my ears for any sign of Tommy, Sarah, or Emily. When there was still nothing, I sighed and pulled my notebook back to me. The story I’d been dwelling on for days was one that I knew was important. Every time I thought about my kids or remembered their mother, I marveled at the strength of my two, tiny humans. At only six and four, they lost their mom. She was their world, their everything, and then suddenly, she was gone. I still didn’t know how they survived it.
As I thought of them, happily playing in the backyard, my idea came back with a flourish. It was like a dam had burst inside my brain, telling me exactly what I needed to write. I grabbed my pen and started writing everything that came to mind.
The outline wasn’t clear. It was messy, and most of my handwriting was illegible to anyone but me, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was getting these thoughts out of my head and onto the paper. I saw Sarah’s face in my mind while I wrote, then Tommy’s, then Telissa’s. I remembered her sick and dying, but still strong enough to play with our kids and be their mom. Despite what she did to me, she taught them how to have strength through hard times.
My hand was aching as I wrote faster and faster. By the time I was done, my outline covered over twenty pages and made absolutely no sense. Still, I was happy. The smile that stretched across my face felt odd and out of place. I hadn’t smiled so much in years. With Emily around now and my writing taking priority, I felt unstoppable. It was like my life had finally fallen into place, like I was doing something I was born to do.
As I finished up the outline and closed my notebook, I heard the kids playing in the living room. I didn’t realize they had come back inside, but the second I heard their voices, I stood up and hurried out of my study, eager to see them.
CHAPTER TWENTY - EMILY
Sunday morning arrived, and I laid in bed longer than normal. The sun was seeping through my curtains, and I could hear Tommy and Sarah playing downstairs. I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost nine o’clock. It wasn’t like the kids to not wake me up if they got up first, but I wasn’t complaining. Technically, Sundays were my day off, but I never took them as such. Instead, I hung around the house with Tommy, Sarah, and Sean.
As I pushed myself out of bed, I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around my body, not bothering to get fully dressed. I didn’t know why I was so exhausted, but I assumed it had something to do with Sean and the toll he’d taken on my body. Having sex with him was earth-shattering, but it always left me trembling and weak. It was no wonder I needed the extra sleep this morning. After yet another night together last night, my body was still recuperating.
I walked slowly downstairs, taking my time. When I stepped into the living room, Tommy and Sarah ran over to me.
“Good morning!” they said together.
“Hey,” I said, yawning wide. “Why didn’t you guys wake me up?”
“Daddy said not to,” Sarah said.
“I thought you could use the sleep,” Sean said from the kitchen. I looked over and smiled. He was grinning at me from the beside the kitchen sink.
“Thank you,” I said. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I walked over to him, and he handed me a cup of coffee, gesturing for me to sit down at the table. I did as he said and sat down. He brought over a plate of eggs and bacon and set it down in front of me.
“It’s not as good as yours,” he said. “I’m not a great cook. Just ask the kids.”
“We had cereal instead,” Tommy said from the living room couch.
I laughed and turned to Sean. “I’m sure it’s delicious.”
“It’s not,” he said, laughing at himself. “But it’s edible.”
I ate a couple bites before I couldn’t eat anymore. Sean really was an awful cook, but it was sweet of him to try. He insisted I sit and relax that morning, not letting me do anything other than sip my coffee and move from the table to the living room.
“So,” I said when he joined us in the living room. “Why the sudden insistence that I do nothing?”
“Not nothing,” he said. “Just less. Sundays are supposed to be your day off, remember?”
“I do,” I said with a nod. “But I’ve never taken one off before.”
“Exactly,” he said. “Which is why you should. You work really hard, and we all appreciate it.”
“We do!” Tommy said, nodding enthusiastically.
“You need to rest sometimes,” Sean said. “I knew you wouldn’t, unless I made you.”
“Thank you,” I said, and I meant it.
Sean was right, I wasn’t the kind of person to just take a day off work unless I was really sick or there was some sort of emergency. Besides, the kids never felt like a job to me.
Still, as I sat there watching Sean play with the kids, I knew he was right. They needed some time alone as a family, and I needed time to myself. I realized I hadn’t seen Janie in a while and that it was probably time I call her to check in.
“I’m going to shower,” I said, standing up and stretching. My robe came open slightly to reveal my underwear, and Sean’s eyes lingered on my exposed skin. I raised my eyebrows at him and covered up quickly. He looked at me with desire as I walked past him and slid my hand along his back.
Once upstairs, I jumped in the shower and took my time. I washed my hair and even conditioned it, which wasn’t something I usually made time for. After that, I shaved my legs and washed my body, reveling in the feeling of the soft soap. It felt amazing to be alone, not worrying about having to hurry up in case the kids needed me.
I got out of the shower and got dressed in comfortable clothes before I called Janie, putting the phone to my ear and listening to the rings.
“Hey!” she said when she answered. “I haven’t heard from you in ages. What’s going on?”
“I have the day off,” I said. “Want to grab some lunch or something?”
“Hell yes,” she said. “Where to?”
“Your choice,” I said.
“Sal’s,” she said, and I laughed, knowing that would be her answer.
“All right,” I said. “I’ll meet you there.”
I finished getting dressed and pulled on my shoes before I hurried downstairs. Sean was already getting the kids lunch: sandwiches and chips. It was an easy lunch, and I smiled as he set their plates in front of them.
“Afraid of poisoning them?” I asked playfully.
“You’re hilarious.” He rolled his eyes and then scanned my outfit. “Are you going out?”
“Yeah, I’m meeting Janie for lunch,” I said. “If that’s okay?”
“Of course, you don’t have to ask.” He laughed. “Remember, it’s your day off. You could drive to Denver if you wanted.”
“Not likely,” I said. “Just lunch.”
“Have fun,” he said.
Tommy and Sarah waved goodbye as I made my way toward the front door. I thought about driving to Sal’s, but the weather was so nice that I decided to walk. It was only fifteen minutes away, and I enjoyed the silence and the summer breeze.
It surprised me how much I was enjoying being alone. I’d had so much fun with the kids lately that I never imagined taking a day for myself, but Sean was right. I really did need it. I leaned my head back and let the wind whip through my hair. When I made it to Sal’s, Janie was already there, sitting in at our usual table.
She jumped up to hug me when I walked over to her. We sat down and ordered our food, Janie already having my drink ready and waiting for me. I grinned and took a sip as she talked my ear off about her date last night.
“He was okay,” she said with a shrug. “But nothing special. I mean, he’s cute, but he doesn’t make my heart race, you know? I need my heart to race.”
“I totally understand,” I said, thinking about Sean and smiling to myself.
“What was that?” Janie demanded, pointing at my face.
“What was what?” I asked innocently.
“That little smile,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “You were totally thinking about sex, weren’t you?”
“No,” I said firmly. “Not exactly.”
“Uh huh,” she said, not believing me. “Then what?”
“Just Sean.” I shrugged. “I was just thinking about Sean.”