“Oh, well, thank you,” she said and smiled up at me.
I nodded, feeling my pants start to tighten. I shut the light off in the kitchen and went upstairs to kiss my kids good night. When I came back down, Emily was standing in the living room, looking out the window. I went to the couch, sitting down and pulling a pillow into my lap. I knew I should just go up to my room and lock myself away from her for the night, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it just yet.
Emily came over and sat next to me on the sofa. My heart was pounding in my chest and I hoped she couldn’t hear it. When I looked at her, she was watching me closely. There was something different about her expression. It was one I hadn’t seen before.
“I still can’t believe you thought Tanner was my boyfriend,” she said with a laugh. “God, he’s impossible.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed,” I said. “But in my defense, he was whispering in your ear.”
“He does that,” Emily said. She rolled her eyes. “Janie calls him my stalker.”
“Is he that bad?” I asked, a spark of irrational anger in my gut.
“No,” Emily said. “He’s persistent but truly harmless. He’d never hurt a fly. He just thinks his persistence will eventually win me over. He doesn’t realize it makes me less attracted to him when he comes sniffing around like a lovesick puppy.”
“If he ever bothers you too much,” I said. “I can take care of it for you.”
I didn’t know what inspired me to say that, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Emily looked at me with wide, grateful eyes. She still had that same expression on her face, and I suddenly realized what it was: desire.
Fuck.
My stomach tightened, and I felt my face flush. Our eyes were locked on each other’s, and I knew I couldn’t fucking resist her for another second.
“Emily,” I breathed. She moved closer to me, and suddenly, we were kissing.
Her lips were soft and gentle against mine. I didn’t intend to kiss her, but I wasn’t surprised that the urge overtook me. What surprised me the most was that she kissed me back. Her lips were eager against mine, and soon, our kiss turned more insistent.
I wrapped my hand around the back of Emily’s head and pulled her harder against my mouth. She moaned and kicked her leg over so she was sitting in my lap. I kissed her harder, my lips devouring hers. She tangled her fingers in my hair while I held her hips.
“Emily,” Sarah said softly.
We jumped apart quickly and both turned to the stairs. Thankfully, Sarah was nowhere in sight. Emily hurried to the foot of the stairs and looked up.
“Can I have some water?” Sarah asked.
“Sure,” Emily said. She hurried into the kitchen and then went upstairs with the water in her hand. I heard her footsteps as she led Sarah back to bed and tucked her in.
I listened carefully, waiting for a sign that Emily would return. Instead, I heard her bedroom door open and close with a soft click.
CHAPTER TEN - EMILY
It was Tommy’s idea to go to dinner on Monday night. He said we needed to celebrate my return and that we should go to the best restaurant in town. I was flattered by his insistence, but one look at Sean told me he didn’t feel the same way.
Ever since our kiss the other night, he’d barely spoken two words to me. I didn’t know what to do or say. After Sarah interrupted us, I was afraid of being caught so I just went to bed, thinking Sean and I would talk in the morning. We didn’t.
All day Sunday and most of Monday was spent in silence. I talked to the kids. We played games, and I cooked them meals. I put them to bed on Sunday night, and when I went downstairs, Sean was already locked away in his room. I thought about knocking on the door, but I resisted the urge, knowing he would talk to me when he was ready.
Still, it was hard not knowing how he felt. We kissed, and now it may as well have never happened. From the way Sean was acting, I couldn’t help but think he wished it hadn’t.
I tried to tell Tommy a celebratory dinner wasn’t necessary, but he dug his heels in, the way only a seven-year-old can. Eventually, Sean stepped in and said it was a great idea.
“There’s a nice Italian place I wanted to try,” he said. “Have you been?”
“Riggazzonis?” I asked.
“I think so.” Sean nodded.
“It’s wonderful,” I said.
“Perfect!” Tommy said with excitement. “That’s where we’ll go then.”
Tommy was bouncing up and down with excitement as we left the house, but both Sarah and Sean were quiet. I looked from one to the other, wondering if Sarah saw more that night than I thought she had. I couldn’t imagine she did. She was at the top of the stairs, and we were on the couch. It wasn’t possible for her to know, was it?
I remained preoccupied all through dinner. The kids both ate most of their food, but Sarah didn’t talk much during dinner. Tommy was chattier than ever. I loved how much he was opening up to me and coming out of his shell, but I couldn’t keep my attention on him. My eyes kept returning to Sarah’s face. I worried about her, but I didn’t know how to ask her what was wrong.
Sean ordered dessert for everyone. When it arrived, he raised his glass, and we all followed his lead.
“To Emily,” he said formally.
“To Emily!” Tommy said.
“Thank you,” I said softly, taking a sip of my water.
Sean’s toast was nice but seemed obligatory. He barely met my eye when he said the words, and he immediately looked away after. I didn’t know what was going on with him. How could he kiss me and then treat me this way? How could we go from making out on the couch to ignoring each other?
It didn’t make sense, and I was tired of the confusion. I wanted to demand answers right there at the dinner table, but I knew that would be a mistake. Besides, Sarah’s face was still turned down in an obvious frown, and she hadn’t so much as touched her chocolate cake.
“Aren’t you hungry?” I asked her softly.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay.” I took her hand and led her to the back of the restaurant.
We slipped inside the bathroom, and Sarah quickly disappeared in the first stall. I waited for her right outside, but after five minutes, I was worried.
“Are you okay?” I asked through the stall door.
Sarah sniffed and I pressed my ear closer to the door. It sounded like she was crying, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Sarah,” I said. “Sweetie, why don’t you come on out?”
“I can’t,” she said. Her voice broke, and she sniffed again.
“Come out,” I said gently. “You can tell me what’s wrong. Maybe we can fix it together.”
Sarah slowly unlocked the stall door and stepped out. She looked at me with tears running down her little face. In that moment, she didn’t look five years old. She looked not a day older than two or three. She was just a baby, a little girl who didn’t have a mommy to turn to when she was sad.
The sight of her like that made my heart ache. I reached out for her and she walked straight into my arms, burying her face in my shoulder.
While she cried, I held her tightly, smoothing my hand down her back. Her tears were soaking into my shirt, but I didn’t care. I would have held her all night if it meant she might feel a little better.
When she finally stopped crying enough to sit up, she pulled away from me and wiped her eyes. I grabbed her a tissue off the counter, and she blew her nose. When she was calm enough, I took her tiny hands in my mine, and she lifted her face to meet my eyes.
“What’s the matter, Sarah?” I asked. “Why are you so sad?”
“I’m scared,” she said, her voice weak.
“Of what?” I asked.
“I really like you, Emily,” she said. “But I don’t want you to be my mommy. Even though my mommy died, I still love her a lot.”
“Oh, sweetie,” I said, my heart breaking in my chest. “Come here.”
I hugged her again and held her close for a few seconds. When I pulled away, I smiled at her and moved her hair off her tear-soaked face.
“I would never try to take your mommy’s place,” I said. “Not ever.”