Part of our deal was that Emily would move in. Being a fulltime nanny required more than just breakfast to dinner each day. I needed her around more often, and so did Tommy and Sarah. It was a good arrangement, but I was terrified that I would be walking around with a constant case of blue balls.
Even worse than the sexual feelings Emily brought out in me, was the fact that I actually wanted to be nice to her. She was easy to talk to and I found myself slipping and revealing personal details about myself to her. As badly as I wanted to be an absolute dick that she didn’t want to be around, I couldn’t always keep up the act around her. I tried over and over to remind myself that she was here for the kids and nothing else. No one else.
As I got dressed Saturday morning, I reminded myself of the guy I’d seen her with that night at the pizza parlor. He got so close to her and was clearly romantically into her. She was off limits for more reasons than one.
Still, when Emily arrived with her bags, my eyes trailed over her body with a hunger I’d never felt before. I wanted her so fucking badly that I thought I might come unglued at the seams. Fuck me, what was I doing to myself?
“Emily!” Tommy yelled, running down the stairs and throwing his arms around her waist. “I missed you!”
“Oh, I missed you too,” Emily said. She kissed the top of his head just as Sarah came bouncing down the stairs.
“You’re really here!” Sarah said, squealing with delight. She hugged Emily and immediately began chatting her ear off about all the things she’d done in the last few days.
I couldn’t help but laugh and I shook my head, pulling Sarah away long enough for Emily to speak.
“I’m glad I’m here,” she said, looking up at me with a smile. “I missed you guys.”
“Let’s let Emily get settled in, okay?” I said to the kids. “Then we can all have breakfast.”
“I’ll just throw these bags in my room and come back down,” Emily said. “Who wants french toast?”
Tommy and Sarah both erupted in cheers of joy. Emily laughed, and I helped her haul her bags up the stairs. We were silent as we dumped her bags in her room and awkwardly made our way downstairs.
There were a million things I wanted to say to her. I was so grateful that she’d agreed to come back. Her presence here was going to make the kids so happy, but just looking at her was enough to make my stomach tighten painfully.
My entire body reacted to Emily without my permission. I felt like a teenager, popping boners left and right without knowing why. As we sat down to breakfast, I tried to keep my thoughts in check, but Emily made that impossible.
She leaned over the table, making her tits once again fall forward. I swallowed and looked away, focusing my attention on Tommy. He was telling me all about the book he’d just read. I didn’t remember the name of it, but I pretended to be interested while he chattered away. When the kids finished breakfast, they ran upstairs to get changed for the day, and I helped Emily with the dishes.
We stood side by side, just as we’d done that night I fired her. The energy between us was palpable, and I wondered if she felt it too. Whenever our eyes met, she looked away quickly, almost as if she were afraid of what she might find staring back at her.
I couldn’t blame her for her nerves because mine were worse than ever. I fucking ached to touch her. Our hands brushed against each other in the sink, and I felt my entire body stiffen. We both froze, and when our eyes met, my desperation to kiss her was stronger than ever. Instinctively, I leaned forward, but immediately thought better of it and pulled away. Clearing my throat, I took a step back.
“I’m going to get some work done in my study,” I said. “Are you okay out here?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled. “I think I’ll take the kids into town, if that’s all right with you? I have some errands to run, and I think they’d enjoy getting out of the house for a while.”
“Sure,” I said. “Sounds great.”
She smiled again, and I hurried down the hallway toward my study. I pulled the door closed behind me and waited until I heard the front door close before I sat down at my desk. Laying my head on the cool surface, I tried to force my boner away. It was impossible. Emily’s scent still lingered in the air, and I was powerless against it.
I knew hiring Emily back would be complicated. It was the right decision for my kids, but it was a dangerous decision for me. I couldn’t breathe around her. No matter what I did, she overwhelmed all my senses. My attraction to her was only growing stronger, but I hoped, eventually, it would subside.
As I pulled my notebook toward me, I couldn’t think of anything to write. Finally, I decided to jot down my thoughts about Emily. I hoped that by putting them on paper, they would leave my mind, and I’d be able to be in her presence without wanting to bend her over and fuck her senseless.
I wrote for what felt like hours, filling pages and pages of my notebook. By the time I was finished, it was getting late, and I knew Emily would be back with the kids any minute. With a sigh, I closed my notebook and tucked it safely in my desk drawer.
***
“This is amazing!” Tommy said as he shoveled food in his mouth.
“Thank you,” Emily said, smiling at him affectionately.
“I’ve never had chicken parm…” Sarah tried, but she couldn’t get the word out.
“Parmesan,” I said.
“Yeah, that,” Sarah said. “It’s so good.”
“I’m glad you like it,” Emily said.
The four of us ate in silence for most of dinner. The kids were too busy eating as fast as they could to speak, and I was afraid of what I might say to Emily. My feelings were still just as strong as ever. Writing them down did nothing to assuage my discomfort.
Still, Emily’s eyes continued to flicker to mine, and I knew she wanted to talk. Finally, I came up with something safe to discuss, something I knew wouldn’t get me excited.
“So,” I said. “Tell me about your boyfriend.”
“My boyfriend?” Emily asked with a frown.
“You have a boyfriend?” Sarah asked with interest. “I wish I had a boyfriend.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Emily laughed.
“You don’t?” I asked, surprised.
“No.” She frowned. “Why would you think that?”
“That guy at the pizza place,” I said. “When we saw you, you were with someone.”
“Oh.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Him.”
“He’s your boyfriend?” Sarah asked with excitement.
“No,” Emily said firmly. “That’s just Tanner. We’ve known each other since high school. He’s always asking me out, but I’ve never said yes.”
“Why not?” Tommy asked. “Is he not nice?”
“He’s nice enough,” Emily said with a nod. “But just as a friend. Nothing more.”
My heart skipped a beat at her words. Suddenly, all the blood rushed to my pelvis, and I had to take a few cleansing breaths before I could speak again.
“I’m sorry to just assume,” I said.
“That’s okay,” Emily said. “Tanner can be pretty persistent. He’s harmless and sweet but not at all my type. We’ve never been anything more than just friends. I think he knows that too. He just enjoys teasing me by asking me out all the time.”
“You shouldn’t tease people,” Sarah said wisely.
“No,” Emily said. “You’re right. You shouldn’t tease people.”
Emily glanced at me, and I looked away. My heart was still beating rapidly as her words sunk in. For days now, I’d been telling myself she had a boyfriend. The fact that she was off limits made it easier for me to resist her. Now, I wasn’t sure how I was going to control myself around her.
When we finished dinner, Emily took the kids upstairs to give them baths before bed. I cleaned the dishes, moving slowly so I would stay busy for a long time. My mind was still focused on Emily and what she said at dinner. Everything seemed more confusing now, more uncertain.
About an hour later, I finally finished the dishes just in time for Emily to come quietly down the stairs. She stopped in front of me, staring at me silently.
“Are they asleep?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said. “They went down easy tonight. Can I help with the dishes?”
“All done,” I said. “You’re off the hook for the night.”