I nuzzled her neck, letting myself grin through the happiness of it. The joy of finally believing.
Sobering, I pulled back, fidgeting with a lock of her hair. “I just…I have to have stability for him, Alexis. And if you want to be a part of his life, I have to know that you’re all in. Things are gonna be rough for a while with him. He’s doing well, dealing with the loss of his mom, but I know there are going to be difficult times ahead. And God…I don’t ever want you to question where I want you to be, because the only place I want you is with us.”
“What are you saying, Zee?”
It was almost a chuckle that slipped free. “Guess I’m giving you one last chance to run before I keep you forever.”
Moisture shimmered in her eyes. “The only running I’m going to be doing is to you.”
Relief took me whole.
Complete.
“I love you, Lex.”
She edged forward a fraction so her mouth could meet mine.
Fire.
Flames.
Freedom.
She took my hand with the star and pressed it to her lips, her voice a whisper against the skin. “You were everything I’d ever wished for. Before I even knew what that meant.”
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Alexis
Anxiety thrummed a steady beat through my being. Sweat gathered at the nape of my neck, and I sucked in a breath, trying to get myself together, to keep from fidgeting while I waited outside the massive doors of Zee’s loft.
With shaky hands, I straightened my skirt for what had to be the hundredth time.
I was certain I’d never been so nervous in all my life.
I was also certain I had never stood on the precipice of something so important.
There are moments in our lives when we know things are about to change.
But this change?
This might be the most significant of all my life.
My pulse raced, my spirit heavy with anticipation.
Hope and fear.
Hope and fear.
They wound and wound, stirring my conviction.
I’d never been one to tiptoe.
I’d always rushed into every situation.
Eager to find what it might offer.
But this time I did it with complete regard. With full consideration that had taken little thought or deliberation.
Because my heart had already screamed its decision The lock screeched, and my heart kicked into overdrive when the door swung open.
Zee stood there, that beautiful, intoxicating man who had become my world.
This man who was inviting me deeper into his.
The stand for something more important than I’d ever stood for in all my life.
A shiver tickled across my skin when he slanted me the best kind of smile. One harnessed in affection and his own nerves.
“Hey,” he said quietly as he widened the door.
“Hi,” I breathed, softly smiling over at him as I stepped inside before I let my gaze travel into the living area.
Sunlight poured in through the windows, like a spotlight cast on the tiny figure on the rug.
Instantly my attention was there.
Locked on the child as everything froze. My breath and my spirit and my heart.
That moment sacred. Forever etched in my mind.
He was sitting with his legs crisscrossed, leaning over a pile of Legos he focused on constructing.
My feet cautiously carried me across the floor.
While every other part of me suddenly went wild. Reaching and stretching and amplifying. Hope stretched out ahead of me like the brightest beacon.
Calling me home.
His head jerked up when he heard me approach.
The little boy with light brown hair and eyes the color of bronze. He grinned the widest smile. Vulnerable and sweet.
“Hi. My daddy said you were gonna come over and play with us. You wanna? I’m building a castle because when I grow up, I’m gonna be a knight.”
I dropped to my knees in front of him.
Heart first.
“I’d love to play.”
“What’s your favorite color?” he asked, looking back into his pile so he could dig it out for me.
I glanced over at Zee, who stood staring down at us.
That energy alive.
Lapping and churning with an overpowering peace.
And sitting there I finally knew exactly what it was I’d been wishing for.
Epilogue
Zee
Warm laughter echoed from the walls. I sank back into the comfy couch as I let my gaze wander Shea and Sebastian’s living room at their place out on Tybee Island.
Baz, Austin, Ash, and their families had mostly settled here in the Savannah area, considering this was where they wanted to raise their families.
Lyrik and Tamar still spent most of their time in Los Angeles where they could be closer to Brendon.
Of course, that was where Alexis and I planned on laying down roots, too, so she could keep close to her sisters.
Avril was six months clean, living in a halfway house of sorts as she learned to get back on her feet. Fighting everyday but knowing living would always be worth the fight.
I’d always feared if Sunder wasn’t continually making music, touring, and fighting to be on top, we’d lose sight of the dreams. But those bonds hadn’t loosened and had only seemed to strengthen as the demands of the rock star life were shifted. Even though our permanent homes were on opposite sides of the country, that didn’t mean we all didn’t get together as much as we could.
Which was why we were all here to celebrate the holiday.
The lights were cast low and Shea had candles set about out of reach of small hands.
A spray of what had to be a million white twinkle lights sparkled from the tall Christmas tree set up against the panes of glass that overlooked the sea, and the rolling waves crashing on the beach just beyond the darkened windows only added to the contentment that stretched its fingers out like welcome.
Sunder was scattered about the massive room. Shea and Edie were chatting in the kitchen, Baz and Austin not far where they rested on stools at the island.
Lyrik and Tamar had curled up together on another couch, and Ash and Willow were murmuring to each other where they shared a lounger next to the fire.
The flames lapped and danced, reflecting on the glass and sending a warm glow across the entire room.
What made it best?
All the kids were in the middle of the floor playing with the gifts they’d ripped open.
My chest pressed full, unable to reconcile the satisfaction I felt. The easiness I’d never really realized had been missing until it was there. This peace that soothed the wounds that I’d thought would forever remain raw.
That peace only amplified when I let my eyes settle on the two who were in the middle of it all.
Liam was right at Alexis’ side, which was where he always seemed to want to be, laughing hysterically as she poked him in the belly. He grabbed that spot, crying out “no” when it was clear he was begging her to continue.
Yeah.
Things had been rough. But they were getting better. Every day. Knew Veronica would always be a loss for Liam, and I’d never discount the fact my son had lost his mother. I could only be grateful for what Alexis and I could give him.
Safety and security and stability.
A big house with an even bigger yard.
Our time.