“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking child, Liam. I’m not sick enough to keep you at home, am I? You just want me here so you can keep gallivanting around on your little trips.”
What the fuck?
The doctors looked as shocked as I did.
“I had a business meeting. You know this.”
“What I know is that you’ve been gone for over twenty-four hours and haven’t contacted me since you got off the plane yesterday, which was also when you told me you’d be home during the night. Not only did you not come home but also you’ve been unreachable ever since. That’s what I fucking know.”
She was right. Everything she said was right. The truth of the matter was that I should’ve been the one calling an ambulance when she was sick the other morning. I saw then that she wasn’t well, and I should’ve done something.
I didn’t argue with her, not about what she said about me anyway. I was not gonna add high blood pressure to everything else that she had going on.
“If the doctors think you need to spend a few days here, then you’ll spend a few days here. I’ll stay with you if that makes you happier. I’ll get another bed brought in, and I’ll work from here.” I felt her let out a deep breath, but she didn’t say anything else. “We’ll arrange an ultra sound for tomorrow morning once you’re a little more hydrated, but right now the baby’s moving just fine and has a good strong heart beat,” the taller of the two doctors said.
Sarah nodded, while I just felt relieved.
Once the doctors left, I slid Sarah off my lap and onto the mattress and moved the chair that Sasha was sitting on from the corner so I could sit beside her bed.
She stared over at me without saying a word.
“What happened to the girl that never used to swear? I’m sure you just said fuck more than once in front of those doctors.”
“She met and married you. You make me sweary.”
I reached out and took her hand, enveloping it between both of mine.
“I am sorry,” I told her honestly.
“I didn’t know where you were. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I was so fucking scared . . .” She started to cry the instant she tried to speak. I was back on the bed in a split second, dodging the wires to get to her.
“I thought I was losing the baby. I was so frightened, and we couldn’t find you. I called Mel, and she said—”
“Wait, wait, wait. You called Mel?”
“Yes, I called Mel this morning when you didn’t reply to my texts. I asked if she knew where you were staying. She said she had no idea. As far as she knew, you were flying straight home after your meeting.” She swiped the backs of her hands over her cheeks to wipe away her tears. It was such a childlike gesture that it just about broke my fucking heart. After drawing in a few shaky breaths, she continued, “I tried to call Luke, but he was already on the plane by that time, and I just didn’t know what else to do. Sasha even called Shain to see if he knew.” She stared at me for a few minutes, her breaths coming heavy and her bottom lip trembling. “Where were you?” she whispered very quietly.
I debated lying to her for a split second, remembered where that got me in the past, and told her the truth.
“I got drunk.”
She pulled back, her brows pulled together in a tight frown, and her eyes darted all over my face.
“What?”
I didn’t think I’d ever felt more ashamed in my life as I continued to explain. “I negotiated a deal with Caledonia, the Scottish drilling company. We won the contract, and the CEO wanted to celebrate.”
She stared at me wide eyed, but at least she wasn’t crying. I kind of wished the tears were still there instead of the hurt that replaced them.
“We had wine with our lunch, so I was just drinking water when we went to the hotel bar. I needed a clear head to do business and to drive the car home from Gatwick.” I attempted to justify . . . explain . . . whatever, but I didn’t miss the soft huff of breath she let out. It said the, “Yeah right,” she never voiced. “I had every intention of coming home, Sarah. That was why I didn’t take my charger. I’d never intentionally be unreachable like that.”
She looked like she was about to cry again, and I was unsure of what to say. I was sick of hearing myself say sorry, so I was sure she must be, too.
“Andrew Hamilton, the CEO, ordered some top-shelf whiskey. I was just gonna have the one, but we sat in these big comfy armchairs around an open fire in the hotel, and next thing I knew, I was waking up, face down, just missing a puddle of my own puke in a hotel room.”
She moved further back and sank down into her pillows.
“How did you get there?”
“I’ve no fucking clue.”
“Did you . . . Were you wearing . . . Were you alone?”
Seriously? That was what she thought I was up to?
I grabbed on to her hand and held it in place as she tried to pull away.