Spiralling Skywards: Fading (Contradictions, #2)



After a good day and an even better night’s sleep, I was back to feeling like shit. I still had trouble keeping anything down and had spent the morning throwing up, but by four I was comfortably sitting on my couch, sipping water watching The Sweetest Thing. I’d just managed not to gag too hard at the sight of the dry cleaner scratching cum off Jane’s dress before tasting it, when Luke came through the door. He took one look at me, grabbed the bin from the kitchen, and came to kneel in front of me.

“Fuck me, Sunshine, you look rough. No wonder he didn’t wanna leave ya.”

I started to sit up but he put his hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t get up, stay there. You want me to get you anything.”

I stretched, yawned, and shook my head.

“Nah. I’m not having a good day. I’ve only been able to keep water down.”

“I can’t believe how much weight you’ve lost. Can’t they give you something to stop all this?”

I didn’t have the energy to explain to my brother the reasons why I wouldn’t take the anti-nausea medication my doctor had prescribed, so I just told him no.

“You want me to build up the fire? It’s freezing out there.”

“That’d be lovely, thanks.”

“I’ll go change first.”

I sat up and tucked my legs under me while my brother changed out of his suit and into a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie.

“You still watching this film?” he asked as he walked back into the room.

“Only about once every month.”

He shook his head as he knelt down in front of the fire and started to add logs and newspaper.

“You spoke to Del?”

“Only once when he landed. His flight was delayed because of fog and he didn’t get there till lunchtime.”

He stopped what he was doing and rubbed his hand over the stubble on his jaw for a few seconds before turning around to face me.

“If he didn’t get there till lunchtime, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t make it back tonight.”

“I don’t know why he doesn’t just come back tomorrow anyway. I don’t like the idea of him driving from the airport after such a long day.”

“He didn’t wanna leave you.”

“He has no issue with leaving me any other time. It feels like he only comes home to sleep lately. We don’t even eat together these days.”

Luke looked at me without saying anything for a few seconds before turning back around and lighting the fire. Once it had caught, he came and sat next to me on the sofa.

“He doesn’t like being away from you, but this is a new business, Sares. We’re the new kids on the block, and we need to work hard to get our name out there. You know the situation, we’ve talked about it before.”

“I know all of this.”

“Do ya, though? You make it sound like he chooses to be away from you when that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

“I just don’t see why you both have to work so hard or why you both have to put in such long hours.”

“Because we’re just getting started. We knew when we first set this thing up that we had between five and seven years of hard work, long hours, and a lot of traveling in front of us. When he agreed to all of that, he hadn’t factored you into the equation.”

“Well, sorry for existing.” I snapped.

“Stop being a brat. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“I already feel like I’m last on his list of priorities, and you saying shit like that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

My brother shook his head and let out a frustrated sigh.

“You,” he pointed his finger at me and then down at my belly, “you and that baby are his number one priorities—don’t you ever be in any doubt about that. He wanted to get Shain to fly to Scotland from Australia for this meeting so that he wouldn’t have to leave you.”

“So why didn’t he?” I knew it made me sound selfish, but in all honesty, I didn’t care.

“Are you fucking kidding me? No, I said no to that idea. Me, that was my call. Stop being so precious Sarah, it’s not like you. He’s working his arse off to build this company up. In ten years, we’ll be able to sit back and hopefully reap the rewards, but until then, it is what it is and we just have to put in the hours.”

I sat back with a huff and folded my arms across my chest. I knew all the reasons why they had to put in the hours, but I was sick, I was tired, and I was full of pregnancy hormones. Most days I was teary but that particular day, I just felt like being a bitch.

“Well if you’d have got Shain over, you would have made me happy because Liam wouldn’t be flying up and down the country while I’m feeling so rough. You would have made Liam happy because he could’ve stayed home and looked after me, and you would’ve made Sasha happy because she would’ve gotten to spend time with her boyfriend.”

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