I DIDN’T WANT to face Gary, and when I walked into that brightly lit hospital room, I had no idea what I’d find or even if he’d want to see me. Everything that had happened to him—and I still wasn’t sure what that was—it was because of me.
Gary sat in bed, the TV was on a low setting, but he was staring out the window, lost in thought. When he heard the door opening, he turned, frowning. But then his face lit up in a huge smile. I winced when I saw that several teeth were missing, and that yellow bruises were fading on his face.
“I look hideous, I know. You look gorgeous as ever. Give me a hug, showboat.”
He grinned, waving his arms at me.
I leaned down to hug him and I felt a tremor run through his body, his arms squeezing tighter.
“I’m so fucking glad you made it,” he whispered.
I jerked back, surprised. I was expecting blame, not . . . this.
“God, it’s good to see you. Not a cute doctor in sight,” he said, half laughing, half crying as he wiped his eyes with his fingers. “How have you been?”
“I . . . I don’t know what to say. Why aren’t you yelling at me?”
Gary looked surprised.
“Well, I’m happy to shriek in delight at seeing your pretty face, but why do I get the feeling that’s not what you mean?”
“But this—it’s all my fault!”
Gary shook his head emphatically.
“No. No. You’re wrong. You tried to get me to do something, to tell someone, and I didn’t want to know. Jesus, even when you were all beaten up and desperate . . . I should have done something to help then. But I didn’t.”
He gestured to his own face and body.
“This is all on me. I’m just so happy that you got out. I have no idea how. I thought at first that they’d killed you, but when they kept asking me where you were, how you’d gotten away, I was happy. Well, I’d have been a lot happier if they’d stopped hitting me, but other than that, yeah . . .”
His words stuttered and stopped.
“They just beat you?” I asked doubtfully.
Gary glanced down at his hands, and then I saw the raw skin around his wrists. He’d been tied up or handcuffed.
He gave a fake laugh, his cheeks flushing.
“Well, I had to suck a few dicks, but that’s nothing new.”
And when he looked at me, I saw the darkness in his eyes that matched my own.
“You do what you’ve got to do to survive,” I said.
His eyes widened in understanding. “You, too?”
I nodded.
“Sergei?”
“Yes.”
“How did you get away from him? We never saw you again—you didn’t come back for the second half of the show.”
I grimaced and Gary was immediately apologetic.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
I shook my head. “Yes, I do.”
He didn’t speak as I stripped off my coat, sweater and shirt. Then I stood with my back to him. I let him look.
After a moment, I turned to face him. His expression was grave and he looked older.
“A woman found me before they did more,” I said, my voice soft. “A tourist. She got away and it gave me the time I needed. That’s when I ran. I’m sorry. I couldn’t warn you.”
He was thoughtful for a moment, simply watching as I dressed in silence.
“We all have our demons, Ash. I’ll be okay. My parents have been to see me. They’re upset, as you can imagine, but they came. So yeah, I’ll be okay. Eventually. I’ll just have to get some new teeth. I can’t go around looking like a hillbilly forever. But how did you end up in Chicago? I couldn’t believe it when they told me you were here.”
I cleared my throat. Explaining about Laney wouldn’t be easy.
His expression changed from surprise to disbelief to something more guarded as I spoke.
“I guess congratulations are in order,” he said, throwing me a fake grin.
“Thank you.”
His smile faded quickly.
“Have you seen Yveta yet?”
“No, I came to see you first.”
“You know they killed Galina?”
I sucked in a breath.
“The police told me they thought she was dead, but . . .”
“They killed her in front of us. After Sergei let his biker friends have her. God, Ash. I’ve never seen . . .”
His voice shook and he swallowed several times before continuing.
“It was obvious we didn’t know anything. Hell, I shit myself the moment they looked at me. I think that’s why they left me alone mostly. I was too disgusting for them.”
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.
“Yveta had it worse. A lot worse. She . . . she’s not doing so well, Ash.”
I’d always thought of anger as hot and sudden, but what I felt now was ice filling my body. I could feel frost creeping through every vein, every artery, until my heart was frozen, too.
“You should go see her,” he said, resting his hand on mine and squeezing gently. “Just don’t expect too much. Try not to stare—she hates that. And, um, don’t tell her about the wife. Not yet.”
“But . . .”
“Seriously, Ash. One thing at a time.”
With that cryptic warning ringing in my ears, I nodded and stood up.
“I’ll come back.”