So the heartburn is because I’m really not needed here, and I’m sort of thinking I should go back. I know I committed at least a month to Evan, but surely, he can see I’m not needed.
Okay… that may be the true heartburn.
That I’m not needed by Evan on a personal level.
I’ve got no real reason to think that. We’ve been going hot and heavy this past week and a half, and he can’t seem to get enough of me. I braved all the surprised looks I got when it became clear that Evan and I were an item, and I came out no worse for the wear. Everyone seems cool with it, except Tyler, but I’ve figured out that he’s just a natural jerk so I shouldn’t expect anything different.
“What time do you think Evan will want to pull out tonight?” Red asks casually as we walk down a sunny sidewalk about three blocks from the arena.
I shrug. “I’m guessing pretty quickly. No after-party and those meet and greets don’t take that long.”
Funny how Red comes to me with questions like this. Evan and Tyler are pretty much who calls final shots on when we leave, but Red’s figured out that I have Evan’s ear more than Tyler does lately so he knows I’m a quick source of info.
“You’re going to the show tonight, right?” he asks.
“Of course I am,” I tell him as we stroll along. I’ve shortened my pace as Red seems to be slowing down. Despite his big bulk, I’ve been impressed with his commitment to walking with Sirius a few times a day.
“Then I’ll head over to the other bus when Evan gets back from sound check and get some sleep,” he says conversationally, although it’s not really something that needs to be discussed. That’s pretty much the routine. Red and the other bus driver get their sleep in before and during the concert so they’re fresh to drive us to our next destination.
So it makes me wonder…
“Is there something you want to talk about with me?” I ask hesitantly.
Red twists his head and looks at me briefly before giving a sigh and looking away. “It’s just… you’re a really nice girl and this business isn’t so nice. I’ve been around it for a long time, and well… I’m just worried about you is all.”
My heart does a little flip-flop as I stop walking, reaching out to touch Red’s arm. He stops as well and Sirius, because Red’s been working on his manners, also stops and waits.
“That’s really sweet of you, Red,” I tell him with a smile. “But I’m not sure what you mean. Are you worried about something with Evan and me?”
He gives a shake of his head. “Nah… he’s a pretty cool dude since I’ve gotten to know him these past few weeks. Seems to have his head on straight. But he’s also new in this business and there are a lot of demands and pressures that can be tough on a relationship. I’m just saying… keep yourself a little guarded, okay?”
“But not with Evan?” I ask for clarification, because I’m still not sure what type of point he’s making.
Red leans in toward me, his expressive eyes filled with concern. “I’m not saying it about anyone in particular. Just you’re a nice girl and this industry can be not so nice. Evan seems to really like you, but that doesn’t mean everyone will. Doesn’t mean he always will. And you won’t be on this tour the entire time, so you’re looking at a long-distance type of relationship. So just be careful and try to look at things with a jaundiced eye. Okay?”
I nod in agreement, but I really don’t know what I’m agreeing to.
To be careful?
To not trust Evan?
Red’s so cryptic, but I also get that we’re talking about his employer. At least I think we’re talking about his employer, which would be Evan. But his other warning that “not everyone will like me” wasn’t as veiled as he thought it was. I know he’s talking about Tyler, who tries to avoid me for the most part, but when he can’t, he’s not the nicest guy. He’s never overtly rude in Evan’s presence, but if Evan’s not there, he’ll get his little zingers in if he can. No clue what’s up that dude’s butt, but I seriously don’t like him.
Giving Red’s arm a squeeze, I start walking again and he follows suit, Sirius taking off ahead of us with his sniffer going hard and looking completely ridiculous in his socks. “I appreciate it, Red. But honestly… I’m not sure this is a long-term thing with Evan anyway. I mean… it seems to be just… um… well, our interest right now is—”
“You’re saying it’s just physical and has an expiration date,” he suggests kindly.
And when he says it like that, God, it sounds awful. I don’t want it to be just physical, nor do I want an end date, but really, Evan’s not led me to believe it could be anything else. So I admit, “Yeah… that’s all this is I think.”
“Well if you’re unsure, you need to ask him,” Red says simply.