‘I’ve already recognized many men, and ladies, by their hair and voices.’
‘See! If you’ve uncovered people’s identities, they’ll be able to do the same. They’ll recognize your voice, and your coloring.’ He touched her hair. ‘If you leave now, they won’t be certain it was you. If you stay, everyone will know and the gentlemen will treat you differently tomorrow.’
She narrowed her gaze. ‘How do you know so much about courtesan’s balls? I suppose you’ve attended many since your wife passed away.’
He groaned. ‘You know that’s not true. I prefer to stay away from this sort of…’ He waved his hand towards the ballroom.
‘Romp? Orgy?’
He covered her mouth with his large hand and she closed her eyes and sighed. Even the leather of his evening gloves and the sleeve of his coat smelled of horses and paddocks and Brent. An outdoor man who loved the country and riding and whose clothes carried his manly aroma, evening at a soiree. She’d always felt safe when he was with her, and tonight was no exception. Her head had been held high when she’d entered the candlelit ball room, but her bravery was a pretense and inside she quaked and her stomach clenched. Brent’s voice had immediately soothed her stretched nerves. If he was with her, nothing bad would happen, of that she was confident.
‘Brent,’ she murmured as she entwined her fingers with his and gave him a begging look. ‘If I promise we’ll leave in an hour or two and not stay until dawn, will you keep my secret. Let me have a couple of hours here to watch and learn and…’
He frowned. ‘And what? Has your companion, whose name I still don’t know, made some sort of arrangement?’ He looked worried and suspicious, and with good right. Perhaps she’d reveal half of their plans, enough to pacify him and give them room to explore without him hovering like a distraught father.
‘Please, let me go on my way. You can do whatever you came for, too.’
His hands were on his hips and he looked angry. ‘I did not come here to find a mistress, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m more than happy to leave now and take you home.’
She mimicked his stance by putting her hands on her own hips and scowling at him. ‘I am not leaving. Not until I’ve explored all the upper rooms as well.’
‘The upper rooms? Are you mad? A lady cannot go prowling around the bedrooms. There will be couples in those bedrooms having--’
‘Having sex? I do know these things. I’m a widow, not a spinster.’
‘Huh! And what will you do if you walk into a room where there are more than two people? Perhaps three or four, or even five, in one bed.’
‘Oooh, do you know which rooms they are in?’
‘I do not. And I don’t wish to know.’ He sucked in a breath and pointed a finger at her face. ‘And neither do you.’
‘I’m my own person now and I’ll do what I want. I’m going upstairs to explore, and to observe. To join in if I’m asked.’
‘You deserve better than the men you’ll find here, Lillian. Go to a respectable ball. Dance with some decent men. Find another husband.’
‘Why are you eager for me to risk a repeat of my miserable marriage, when you’ve declared that you’ll never marry again?’
‘Because you’re a woman and I’m a man.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘That’s a very biased view, and I thought you better than that.’
He groaned. ‘You’re right. It’s unfair to tell you to risk more unhappiness when I won’t.’
‘Everyone knows you’re avoiding your family because they push eligible ladies towards you. They want you to remarry and give your daughter a new mother.’
‘They’ve no right to interfere in our lives, mine or my daughter’s. We’re happy as we are, the two of us.’
‘Your wife hurt you, deeply, and so you’ve refused to even speak to the women your mother thinks suitable.’
‘I speak to you.’
‘Only because I visit you and drag you away from your house to go riding. I refuse to let you retreat from the world. You’re a wonderful man with a lot to give to another woman. To another wife.’
‘You’re the only lady that I can tolerate being near for more than ten minutes.’