“Why?”
“Because my life isn’t about going out with a great guy.” Her voice escalated. “Or sleeping on his couch, comfortable and safe against him, or making out in the morning and wanting to laze the day away in his arms.”
“Whoa.” The harsh regret in her voice startled him. He held her against his chest, feeling her heart beating fast and hard. “You’re really upset.” He tipped her chin up and looked into her confused eyes. “Talk to me.”
She swallowed hard, as if she could contain whatever was creating distance between them, and silently shook her head.
“Do you want me to take you home? We don’t have to spend the day together.” The last thing he wanted was to cause her pain of any kind. Even if he didn’t understand why she needed space, he’d give it to her. He’d give her anything she needed.
“No.” She clung to his arms. “More than anything else, I want to spend the day with you.”
“Well, that makes me happy, but we’ll go back to only kissing.” Even if it kills me. “I never want you to regret being close to me.”
She pressed her cheek to his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I will never, ever regret being close to you.” She gazed up at him and smiled, but he swore he saw something else there. Maybe not regret, but something curious. “I’ve never felt so much for someone so fast, and I’m sure it’s because we were friends for so long before we decided to become more. I’ve never had that type of foundation with anyone else I’ve gone out with. I feel so comfortable with you. It’s easy to skip all those early, awkward moments. And that’s amazing, but scary, too.”
Fear, that had to be the flicker he’d seen in her eyes a moment ago.
“You’re scared.” He breathed a little easier. This he could handle. This he understood. Sarah Jane had left him scared of letting anyone too close, and Lizzie had touched something in him that made him willing to push past that fear for the first time in more than a decade. “I’m scared, too.”
They held each other for a long while, and Blue knew they were each contemplating their fears and the goodness of what they felt. When Lizzie’s breathing calmed and she took a step back, they left the cabin to take her home, so she could shower and change as Blue had promised—but hopefully not change her mind.
In the truck Lizzie moved beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. It already felt like her spot, and as he drove to her house, he found himself opening up to her.
“I haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time, and I’m not sure what the rules are. Or how fast we should go, or any of that. All I know is that for the first time since I was in college, I want a relationship, and I want it with you. I want to figure out the complicated things, and I want to know what scares you.” He stopped at a red light and gazed into her eyes. “I want to be the guy you can count on. The person you trust with your secrets and the guy you let in here.” He pressed a kiss over her heart.
“You make it all sound so easy.” She fidgeted with the edge of her shirt.
“It’s not going to be easy, but we both know that nothing worth anything is easy. I want happy, not easy, and I know we can have that together.”
Chapter Eight
AFTER BLUE DROPPED Lizzie off at her house with more heart-stopping kisses, she showered and dressed as quickly as she could, thinking about the things he’d said. He wanted a relationship with her, and just as she’d feared, going out with Blue had unearthed the feelings that had been seeding and growing over the past year. And overnight they’d bloomed into something beautiful and desirable. But looming above her, dark clouds threatened, clouds that only she could see.
She couldn’t figure that out right now. Blue was coming back in less than an hour, and she still had to check the Naked Baker email, review stats on last night’s show, and figure out what she was going to bake for tomorrow’s program.
She pulled up her email and readied herself for the onslaught of lewd and suggestive messages that had become the bane of her existence.
One hundred and seventy-seven new emails.
Fun.