But when Magnus called me a few days ago, I found out that it’s because everyone else learns Eden history, geography and politics much earlier on, with the Earth-based topics studied during high school. I’ll have to catch up by private study, taking exams along the way. None of which, I’m looking forward to. Despite my ongoing uncertainty about my place in Eden and my willingness to stay, some part of me is curious to learn more about this world.
“I can help you with that,” he offers, as I reach the door to my suite and I stare at him surprise.
He shrugs and looks almost shy for a moment. It’s strangely adorable.
“I mean, if you want.”
“I don’t know …” I begin to say. It’s one thing to take him up on his offer of elements training. But studying together? Spending time alone in my bedroom with him? That feels like something entirely different. I realize then that I’d drawn a line somewhere between us and hanging out in my room with Raph would definitely be crossing it.
He flashes that impossibly beautiful smile.
“I’d like to think that I know a fair amount about my own world. Heir to the throne and all. And I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”
I laugh then, despite myself.
“Who said your face was pretty?” I reply, raising an eyebrow.
“You did,” he says, that cocky smile growing wider.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said anything of the sort,” I retort.
“You don’t have to, it’s written all over your face—I mean, why else aren’t you be able to keep your eyes off me?” He flashes me a wink, as I gape at him in outrage.
“You have got to have the biggest ego in the world—no, both worlds. Earth and Eden.”
What comes out of his mouth, makes my own mouth drop open and I wonder again how the hell I could’ve mistaken this devil for an angel.
“That’s not the only part of me that’s big—I’m told that I also have the biggest dick in the word—both worlds, to be exact.”
I hide the tell-tale flush on my cheeks by turning my back to him as I open the doors to my suite.
“Ew. Just ew.”
I turn back to him and realize that he’s still waiting for my answer. Am I going to let him in?
I try to picture that line that’s been drawn, but all I can see is that smile, those vivid blue eyes and I find myself nodding, when I should be saying no.
17
Four hours later, I’m lying on my front, on the plush faux fur rug, which is in front of the large fireplace at the center of my room.
My Eden textbooks are scattered in the space between where I’m sprawled out and where Raph is sitting, his back leaning on the plush velvet couch at the edge of the rug.
“I hate to say this, but you are pretty smart,” I say, as I close my history textbook, feeling all studied out for the night. I hate to admit it, but I’m certain that Raph’s help tonight has cut down what could have been days of studying, to a few hours.
The introduction to Eden history section was pretty much everything that Magnus had told me on my first day in Eden, but in far greater detail. Eden geography is entirely new to me, though. Eden, it turns out, is indeed a mirror of Earth, even down to the countries and cities. The only differences being the names and of course, the fact that the Dynasties rule everything. The entire goddamn planet. Raph mentioned though, that there are other parts of Eden which do not mirror any place on Earth. The royal city of Arcadia being one of them.
“Why do you sound so surprised?” Raph asks, raising a golden eyebrow.
“Because you’re an ass,” I retort, unable the resist the opening.
He laughs in response, and I have to shift my focus to the open pages of my Eden politics book, in an attempt to distract myself from the way that laugh lights up his whole face, making him look innocent almost. Something he definitely isn’t.
The book is open on the modern politics section and my gaze falls on a diagram of the current Dynasty heads. Magnus’s face looks back at me and the other faces on the page are familiar, too. I’d seen those faces watching me at that first ceremony, the disapproval in their eyes veiled, but there all the same.
The book must be outdated though, because the image at the head of the diagram is the face of the man who was meant to be my father, Arwen Evenstar. The image is small compared to the wall to ceiling portrait that hangs in the Evenstar palace. But those eyes, so like mine, are just as piercing.
I can feel Raph’s eyes on me, trying to read me. But I don’t want him to. I divert his attention to the space where the heir to the throne should be instead. It’s blank, Raph’s destiny yet to be written, although there’s no doubt as to what that is.
“I guess you’re not so important after all, if they neglected to include your picture here,” I say mockingly.
Raph just flashes me that infuriatingly cocky grin.
“Hardly. It’s just because it’s near impossible to capture this image of perfection.”
The gagging gesture that I make is only half pretend. His expression is as arrogant as ever, but I think I glimpse something beneath that is at odds with everything he seems to be trying to portray.
I don’t know what makes me ask him the next question.
“Do you want the throne?”
My question catches him off guard, and for a moment I feel stupid for even asking it. Raph is regal in every sense of the word. He was made for that throne, he exudes it, emanates it. He carries himself with the air of a throne that is his by blood and a crown that is his by birthright. To question whether he wants it is, absurd, yet I can’t help but think otherwise, when I catch a glimpse of something unreadable in those endlessly blue eyes.
“I’m sorry, it’s a stupid question,” I say when he doesn’t respond.
He shakes his head then.
“No … it’s just that I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.”
That doesn’t surprise me, as just seconds ago I’d felt stupid for even asking, when the answer is so obvious. But his next words aren’t what I expect to hear.
“I’ve been raised to want the throne, taught since birth to want it above all else. It’s all I’ve ever known.”
There is so much left unspoken in those words, and I have no idea how to respond. But I try anyway.
“I guess you’re lucky then,” I say, although the words don’t feel true.
His eyes darken as he looks away into the fire that he’d started in the fireplace earlier. He looks different just then. It’s not just the glow of the fire warming his already golden features, but something tinges those devastating features—sadness?
“Things aren’t always what they seem,” he says quietly, almost as if he doesn’t want me to hear it.
“Everyone always assumes that my life is perfect—but they have no idea.”
I stare at him in confusion, and I want to ask what he means. But something inside me holds me back. Believing that this impossibly beautiful guy is shallow, conceited and couldn’t possibly understand all the loss and loneliness in my life is easy. It’s safe. I don’t want to believe that there’s anything more to it, that there’s some deeper side of him that maybe understands those painful parts of me only too well. So, I keep my mouth shut as I shift to lie on my side.
Raph seems to sense the unspoken decision, too.