“I love you more,” I say as I fold my arms around him.
Logan’s shoulders shake a little as he tilts his head to look at me. “I like Zach, and if you like him, then that’s okay.”
“You’re a good kid, you know that?”
My son’s eyes close as he squeezes me tighter.
Cayden and Zach walk into the barn, and Logan extracts himself.
“I think there’s something in the kitchen,” Cayden says conspiratorially.
“We’ll see you guys later!” Logan calls out as they rush off.
I finish cleaning up the barn a little. Floating around feeling slightly withdrawn. I wonder if it’s too fast that I’m even thinking about really moving forward with Zach. What would Todd think? Would he understand? Do I care what he would think? I don’t know. I think he would want me to be happy. I know I would want that for him, but I also remember how he felt toward the mere mention of Zach.
How he would go to any length to avoid hearing his name.
I can’t imagine that he would be happy about Zach being around his children.
Then again, had he chosen not to commit suicide, he would never have needed to worry about that.
“Hey.” Zach’s hand rests on my shoulder. “What’s going on in there?”
“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” I blurt out.
He stops moving and takes my hand. “What makes you think that?”
“Logan notices something between us, and I keep thinking that maybe this is too soon.”
“Do you feel like it is?”
“Isn’t that what I said?”
Zach’s thumb grazes the back of my hand. “No, you said you keep thinking. What do you feel ?”
I stand there, trying to get a grip on what I am feeling. I’m happy, able to breathe, and I want to be with him each night. The best part of my days are my nights with Zach. I long for him the minute we walk away from each other. And until Logan even said anything, I didn’t think we were moving fast at all.
“Confused,” I finally say.
“We’re not a normal couple, Pres. We’ve known each other forever, and honestly, this is slow. I’ve been in love with you my whole life. I know you better than you know yourself. Don’t you get it, baby? We’re made for each other.” Zach releases my hand and cups my face. “I know every part of you, love every part of you, and there’s no rush on my part, but I don’t think we’re doing anything too fast. I think we’re just finding our way back to where we always were meant to be.”
I close my eyes, press my lips to his, and let his words sink in.
It feels the same way to me. I wish that we didn’t have to go through the hell we’ve endured to find our place, though, and I pray both boys will find a way to accept this.
Zachary
I WANT TO MAKE TONIGHT perfect. She needs to get out of her own head and allow us to be us. But Presley is an over thinker. Always has been.
“You sure about this?” Wyatt asks as he helps load my truck.
“No, but I’m tired of sleeping on a rock.”
He laughs. “I doubt that’s what your reason is, but I’ll buy it for now. She’s going to see through your bullshit though. She always does.”
I’ve got tonight planned down to every detail. Presley will meet me like she always does, only this time it won’t follow the way it has for the last three weeks. She refuses to let me take her out, so I’ll force a date.
“Just load the truck.” I remind him of his job. “I didn’t ask for all your commentary.”
Wyatt came over to grab a few things from our parents. Somehow, that turned into an hour of him, once again, saying how I’m fucking up things on the ranch. Bastard didn’t want to help when my parents needed him, but now he’s full of opinions. When I brought Felicia on to help me run things, he quit that day and went to work for the Townsends. Instead of him growing up and being an adult, he left me high and dry.
Dad had a stroke and could no longer work, so I did what was needed. My parents busted their asses for me, it was the least I could do. Thanks to my dad, I was able to attend any baseball camp I wanted, travel, take extra lessons. All because it was my dream.
“There’s extra blankets because she gets cold.” Wyatt tosses another bag in the back.
“I know.”
“I don’t know what you know, Zach. I hope you’re ready for whatever it is you’re doing. Presley may think she’s ready, but you’ve got blinders on.”
Here we fucking go again.
“You’re not her brother. You’re mine. Start acting like it.” I shove his hat in his chest. “I love her. I would never hurt her. And no matter what you think, this isn’t some fucking fling. This is me takin’ care of her.”
He can think what he wants. The truth is this is for her. This is about her. Not me or the fact that I have to ice my nuts every night. She doesn’t sleep unless I’m holding her. There’s no way in hell she’s comfortable on that damn rock, so I’m going to treat her right. I could kick my own ass for not thinking of this before.