“I think I’m ready to go home,” he says, giving me a slight tug. It wasn’t a question as to whether I’m ready because I think he knows. I reach for Claire’s hand, holding mine out until she grabs it. She does, realizing I’m not going to give up. I want her close to me, at least until we get home. Once we’re there, she can stomp up to her room and listen to her music. She’ll get over the embarrassment she’s feeling right now by the time school starts on Monday.
The drive home is quick and silent. The radio isn’t even on to drown out the loud thumping in my chest. Telling Ray about my life isn’t even something I can put off until tomorrow or next week, and Claire needs to know, too. From her I expect anger, resistance. It’s bad enough that she’s bordering on her teenage years, but to find out the life she’s been living since around the age of two is a lie, is enough to send her life into a tailspin. She’s going to have an identity crisis.
From Ray, I expect hurt. The lies may be too much for him to get over. The fear that I’ll leave him for Tucker and the thought of losing Claire, he may never recover from. He’ll have every right to ask me to leave. It’ll be me and me only; he’d never do that to Claire. He’d never put her in harm’s way.
By the end of the night, my husband and daughter will hate me and there isn’t anything I can do about it.
“Chloe, I’d like to talk to you before you disappear into your room,” I say, as we walk into the house. Ray mumbles something, but is smiling when he passes me.
“I told you she’d find out, Care Bear.”
Chloe huffs as she hangs up her coat.
“Find out what?” I ask both of them and find they are sporting mischievous grins.
“Dad bought me cotton candy.”
“Oh, was it maple flavored? That’s my favorite.” I’m not a fan of her eating cotton candy, but tonight I don’t care.
“Yes,” she says, excitedly. “I should’ve saved some for you.”
“It’s okay. Here let’s sit at the table. You too, Ray.”
The sound of the chairs scraping against the hardwood sends a chill down my spine. I’m already on edge and this is making me more so. I’m jumpy and dreading the words that are about to fall out of my mouth.
Across from me, my husband and my daughter sit. Their hands are folded as they both watch me expectantly. I wish I were about to tell them something to make them smile, but that’s not the case.
And now that I look at Claire, I wish she were upstairs with her headphones in, not hearing a word I’m about to say.
The rain is coming down in sheets and the wipers are barely able to keep the windows clear. Of all the times it has to rain in San Diego, why now? Every few seconds my eyes glance in my mirror. Claire is sound asleep with her bunny rabbit tucked under her arms. The lack of traffic on the highway makes it easy for me to spot if I’m being followed. Right now I feel safe.
My GPS indicates that I’m nearing my exit. I don’t like this part of town, but this is where Buzz told me to go to get a fake ID. I don’t even know how I came to ask him. He had a feeling something was wrong when I was writing the check for Tucker’s storage unit. My hands shook and I broke down in front of him. He said his friend could help.
Right now, I feel like I’m back in high school, except I’m running for my life. I shouldn’t be doing this; I should be home waiting for my husband’s body to come off the plane and giving him a proper burial. I can only hope that Ryley will. That she’ll be there for Tucker.
The building is run down with no lights on out front. “Just knock,” Buzz said. What if I don’t knock and just drive? ‘He’ll find you, Penny.’ This time I can’t ignore the voices in my head. I know I have to follow my instincts and hide. There’s no doubt in my mind Ted Lawson killed Tucker and his friends, but why? Why do four men need to die? And Frannie … why would she do this to River?
Unbuckling Claire, I pull her to my chest and attempt to shield her from the rain, but to no avail. She’s tired and fussy, and doesn’t understand the magnitude of our situation.
I knock, just like Buzz instructed, and only seconds later the door opens.
“What?”
“Buzz sent me.”
The man in front of me nods and steps aside, slamming the door behind me.
“Is your husband beating you?”
The question takes me by surprise, causing me to let out a gasp. The man stops in front of me and looks at my face.
“Is he?”
I shake my head. “No,” I squeak out.
“Follow me,” he says, turning away from me. His stride is long and I have to jog to keep up with him as we walk down a long hallway. When we come to a door, he punches numbers onto a keypad before it opens and we step in.
“She can sleep on the couch.”
I’m reluctant to put Claire down, but do so anyway. Right now I’m fucked if he wants to kill me so what does it matter?
“Buzz called, said you were coming. Said some fucked up shit is going on.”
I nod, but am confused as to why he’d ask if Tucker was hitting me.
“Why did you ask about my husband?”
“To make sure I’m getting the same story. Give me your license.”
I do as I’m told and peer over my shoulder at Claire, sleeping without a care in the world.
“I’m going to give you cash for your car and drive you the bus station. I’ve wiped out the cameras on the interstate so no one can trace you here. Your new name is Amy Jones. What do you want to call her?”
“Um … I don’t know,” I say, shaking my head.