She returned a wistful smile. “Okay.”
For the next several hours they worked to reinforce the posts. Although it was cold enough to see their breath, Keith quickly worked up a sweat in his attempt to pound the posts into the frost-hardened ground. Panting from his exertions, he threw down the post driver with a muffled curse. “It’s no good. I can’t get deep enough. I’m just wasting energy and bending the posts.”
“Is there something else we could try?” Miranda asked.
“Yes. A hydraulic post driver,” he suggested. “It’s the only option.” He snatched up his discarded jacket, mouth compressed. “I don’t know why you couldn’t have waited until spring to do this.”
“Because the situation is urgent now,” she replied. “You know that as well as I do.”
“Urgent?” He tossed the bent posts back into the trailer with a mumbled curse. “I don’t think so. Look, you’re not saving the world here, Miranda. Hell, you’re not even really saving the mustangs. You’re only sticking your finger in the dike. I would have thought you’d understood that by now.”
“Maybe I can’t save the world, but at least I’m doing something instead of living in my own little bubble.”
His head snapped around. A scowl darkened his brow. “Is that what you think? That I live in a bubble?”
She jutted her chin. “I think you purposely hold yourself apart, just like that horse of yours, intentionally keeping everyone at a distance, when what you really need is right in front of you.”
“What makes you such an expert on what I need?”
“I can see that you aren’t happy. I know what I’m saying, because I was that way too until now—unhappy, restless, unfulfilled. Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but I think that’s the real reason you’re here. You want to feel a sense of purpose.”
“You sound just like my grandfather,” he scoffed. “He’s always preaching how every living thing has a reason for being.”
“You don’t agree with him?”
He shook his head with a snort. “If I did, then I’d have to accept that I’m the sole exception to the rule.”
“Just because you haven’t discovered your purpose yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one,” she argued.
Her words seemed to strike a raw nerve. His gaze hardened. He picked up the post driver and threw it into the cart. “We’re done here. Let’s go.”
His tense silence all the way back to the house told her he’d withdrawn, just as she’d feared he might, but if they were going to pursue a relationship, she needed to be free to speak her mind. She hoped he’d come to realize the truth of what she’d said. Either that or he’d pack up and leave. The thought filled her with dismay. She wanted him to stay, but not if she had to walk on eggshells just to keep him happy.
*
Things were strained between them for the rest of the day. Keith drove alone to Butte to rent the post driver and then begged off for supper. The next morning when she rose, he was already gone with the ATV. Although disappointed and hurt, she knew he needed space. He’d implied as much the day before. She was surprised by a knock on the door later in the afternoon. Her heart hammered as she rose to answer.
“Hi,” she greeted him tentatively. Had he come to say good-bye?
He returned the greeting with a terse nod. “I reinforced half of the posts and got about a mile of wire strung.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me this morning? You knew I wanted to help.”
“I didn’t see much point in both of us freezing our asses off.”
“But we would have made more progress with two of us working,” she countered.
“That’s doubtful,” he replied with a hint of a smile. “I know you have good intentions, but you don’t have the body strength or the know-how for this kind of thing. I’ve been pulling fence wire since I was thirteen. I can do it faster alone.”
“What about just keeping you company?” she asked softly.
He sighed and tipped his hat back. “I needed time alone to think.”
“Oh… Did you? Think?” she prompted.
“Yes. I did. I’m not here just to give you a progress report. I came to apologize.”
“You did?” She stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind her. It was too cold to be without a jacket, but she wasn’t about to let him off the hook now.
“I didn’t mean to be so abrupt or so hard on you yesterday. You touched a nerve, or maybe a bunch of them. You have to understand that I want to make it work with you, but I don’t know how. I’m not even sure that it can.”
“Why not? What makes us different from any other two people who want to be together?”