He tossed his rope down with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but you thought wrong. I’m not one of your mustangs. I don’t need saving.”
“Don’t you?” she asked softly. “It’s not a weakness or a character flaw. It’s human nature to need someone. We all do. You need this, Keith. These horses need you. And I need you.”
*
I need you. His chest tightened. When had anyone ever said that to him before? He gazed sightlessly out at the mountains, digesting her words. For the second time, it was as if she’d reached out and touched that aching place in his soul.
“You’re asking too much,” he said with a jerk of his head. “I told you I’m not here for the horses. I’m here for you. I came here to help you. Damn it, Miranda! Why can’t that be enough?”
She stood with hands on hips, her gaze meeting his squarely. “Because you’re too obstinate to recognize what would truly fulfill you.”
“Look, Miranda, there are two kinds of people in this world, sequoias and tumbleweeds. You’re the sequoia. Your convictions are strong, and your roots run deep. I’m the tumbleweed. All my life, I’ve taken a day at a time. I’ve never had a serious relationship or any real responsibilities. I’ve never even stayed in one place for more than a few months at a time. And that kind of life suited me just fine.”
“Does it still?” she asked. “Is that the kind of life you want?”
“No,” he said. “It’s not what I want anymore, but staying here with you is asking for commitments I’m not sure I can make. I don’t know if I even have it in me.” He gripped her shoulders. “Can you understand that? I don’t know if I can change. And I don’t want to hurt you if I can’t.”
She tore her gaze away and looked into the distance. “Are you saying you think you’d just pick up and disappear one day?”
“Maybe.” He released her to answer with a single shoulder shrug. “I’ve done it before. If the mood struck me. I might do it again. It’s how I’ve always been.”
“Maybe that’s how you were, but I don’t believe for a minute that you would. You’re one of the most responsible people I know. You’ve worked for Mitch for months, under really tough conditions, and you never let him down, even when you hated it. You don’t hate it here, do you?” she asked.
“No, I don’t hate it.”
“Do you think maybe you could grow to like it?”
“Maybe I could,” he said, adding pointedly, “I have good reason to. That’s the only part of all this that I’m certain about.”
“What part is that?” she asked.
“You, Aiwattsi. I meant it when I said I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”
She broke eye contact again. “Didn’t I already prove you can have me just about any way you like?”
Her flippant answer told him she was afraid to take his remark to heart.
“That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I need you to understand that it’s never been anything more than sex for me before you. This is different between you and me. It’s more.”
“What do you mean more?” she asked, warily. “How much more?”
“I don’t know the answer.”
“Then I have to ask if you want to know.”
“I do.”
“Then stay with me, Keith. Let’s just give us some time to figure it all out. It’s the only way we’ll ever know. You don’t have to work for Jo-Jo and me, if that’s what bothers you. Maybe you could just lease the facilities from us and train some of the horses. Give the throwaways another chance. I’m certain the BLM would support you. Maybe they’d even give you a contract, like they’ve done with the prisons. At least think about it, will you?” Her eyes pleaded.
She’d waged a hard campaign, chipping away at him piece by piece with her determined persistence. He’d balked and bucked from the very start, but she was wearing him down. He had little fight left in him when she looked at him like that.
He doffed his hat and raked his hair with a sigh of defeat. “All right. You win. I’ll stay on until spring. If I think by then that I can do anything with these horses, I’ll talk to the BLM.”
The words were barely out of his mouth before she flung her arms around him with a squeal. “You will? I’m so happy, Keith! I can’t even tell you how happy I am.”
He flashed a lecherous grin. “Then maybe you can show me instead?”
Chapter 26