I laughed. “I’m sure Freddy will let them down gently.”
I could almost picture Lucy rolling her eyes. “It’s going to break his momma’s poor, old heart. In her eyes, Freddy will always be twelve years old.”
“It will probably destroy her,” I agreed. Freddy came from an extremely close-knit family.
“Look at us! Soon we’ll be married old ladies like Candela. Have you told her the news, by the way?”
“I tried her earlier, but she didn’t answer.”
“Typical,” Lucy scoffed. “I’ll bet she’ll be over the moon when she hears. I mean, L.A.! How glam. We’ll definitely come over for a visit.”
“That would be awesome! The three of us together, like old times.”
“When do you guys leave?”
“In a couple of weeks.”
“Wow, that soon?”
“They’re really keen to get started.”
“I’ll bet! It must be so surreal for you both.”
“It is. We’re coming down to Sydney in a few days. I have to pack up my stuff, anyway.”
“Great, we’ll throw a party.”
“Definitely,” I agreed.
“Tell Rad congrats for me. No one deserves it more than he does.”
“I will.”
The next morning, I woke to my phone buzzing against my hip. Still half asleep, I picked it up and glanced at the screen. It was Candela. “Finally,” I muttered, getting out of bed, careful not to disturb Rad, who was still fast asleep.
I threw on a robe and slipped out the door before answering the phone.
“Candela! Sweetie, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you. I’ve got some great news—”
“Audrey.” She was sobbing. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” For some reason, I thought she was apologizing for missing my call the day before.
“I—I’m sorry,” she sobbed again, and it began to dawn on me that something was terribly wrong.
“Candela, what’s going on? Why are you crying?”
“It’s Freddy. He was in a car accident.”
“Oh no.” I felt my legs buckle, my back hitting the trailer. “Is he okay?”
There was a brief silence followed by another sob. I felt a heaviness in my heart, and, somehow, I sensed what she was going to say next.
“I’m so sorry, Audrey. He—” she faltered, “he’s dead.”
Four
We arrived at Lucy’s house around midday. Rad and I barely spoke a word the whole way there. It felt like we were in a bad dream. How could things have changed so suddenly, so brutally? Freddy is dead. No, no, it can’t be. Comprehension and denial swung in my mind like a pendulum: back and forth, back and forth. Lucy. Oh God, Lucy.
Rad woke up that morning to find me doubled over on the floor outside, my body wracked with sobs. He got down on his knees, pulling me into his arms and rocking me gently. It was a long while before I was able to steady myself enough to speak. His face grew ashen when I told him about Freddy.
Lucy’s mother answered the door before we had a chance to knock. Like mine, her eyes were red from crying.
“Audrey,” she said, pulling me into her arms. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
She nodded, “Hi, Rad,” and motioned for us to come inside.
Candela was in the sitting room. She got up, and we held each other for a long time.
“How is she?”
Candela shook her head. “Not good. She’s in shock, I think. She’s almost catatonic. The scariest thing is she hasn’t shed a single tear.”
“What happened?” asked Rad.
“Freddy was on his way over to see Lucy in the middle of the night. We’re not sure why. He was hit by a truck driver who was off his head on speed.” She shook her head sadly. “They said he died on impact.”
I let out a deep breath. “Oh my God.”
“I told Lucy you were on your way,” her mother said. “I think she would like to see you.”
I nodded and made my way over to Lucy’s old bedroom. My head felt heavy, like I was walking underwater. I stopped outside her door and took a deep breath. As gently as I could, I turned the doorknob and stepped inside.
Lucy looked smaller somehow. Like she had visibly shrunken since I last saw her, as though a vital part of her was now missing. Her lips trembled a little when our eyes met, but otherwise, she barely moved.
I sat down on her bed and took her hand, which was sitting limp on top of her bedspread. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
She nodded, a faraway look in her eyes.
“He’s gone, Audrey,” she said in a low, monotone voice. “Freddy’s gone. My Freddy.”
I nodded, tears springing to my eyes.
“He’s not coming back, is he?” She stared blankly ahead.
I reached out and smoothed her hair away from her face. Tears spilled down my cheeks. “No, sweetie, he’s not.”
Five
It was the day of Freddy’s funeral. I had gone home to my mother’s place the day before to pick up the same black dress I wore for Ana. My mother was uncharacteristically subdued, and Dad, as usual, said and did all the right things.
A heavy mood permeated the air as we made our way up the steps of Holy Trinity church, Candela and I on either side of Lucy, a hand each tightly clasped in hers. The last time we were here, it was for Ana, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of déjà vu.
Freddy’s mother walked ahead of us, her body weak with grief. In her hands, she clutched an old teddy bear with a missing button eye, a memento from Freddy’s childhood. Freddy’s dad had his arm around her, and the two shuffled wearily up the aisle.
At the burial, Lucy stood at the foot of the freshly dug grave watching with a glazed look as Freddy’s coffin was gradually lowered into the ground. Something seemed to crack inside her then. She made a small whimpering noise, and the tears finally came. “Freddy,” she sobbed. “Freddy . . . Freddy . . .” She clutched at her stomach, as though she was about to be sick. “Freddy . . . Freddy . . .” She called his name over and over again until her voice was hoarse and ragged.
The wake was at Freddy’s house, a modest bungalow with a large, sprawling lawn. The guests were Freddy’s extended family and friends. He had always been the life of the party, and his gregarious nature made his absence so much more apparent.
Sometime toward the end of the night, I lost Lucy and went in search for her. I finally found her sitting on Freddy’s bed in his old room, holding a jar of olives in her hand. I walked in, shutting the door behind me.
“Hey, you,” I said, sitting down beside her.
She looked up at me. “He always kept a jar of green olives under his bed.”
“He did?”
She nodded. “I always thought it was the stupidest thing. I mean, who the hell does that?”
“It sounds like something Freddy would do.” I smiled at her.
Tears welled up in her eyes again. “He just had all these weird quirks, you know? They used to drive me crazy. I was always trying to change him. But he was perfect, wasn’t he?”
“He was.”