“Yes, but I don’t know if you should be giving me family heirlooms just yet.”
“You’re right. Great-grandma Clark would be rolling over in her grave right now.”
We were quiet for a few moments.
“I should get back on the pill,” I said absentmindedly.
“Don’t. Get pregnant.”
“Shut up.” I broke into laughter.
“I’m serious,” he said playfully. “Have my baby.” He reached out and put his palm flat on my tummy.
“Stop it.” I brushed his hand away.
He reached over again and began tickling me.
“Rad, seriously! No! Rad—” I shrieked between fits of laughter, trying to fight him off. “Stop it! Rad! Stop it right now! I will kill you—I swear.”
Somehow, I managed to get on top of him, pinning his arms back. “Nipple cripple!” I declared, reaching for his chest.
“Don’t you dare!” he cried, grabbing my wrist. We were laughing so hard at this point I could barely catch my breath. We wrestled around for a moment, and before I knew it, he had me in a vice-like grip.
“Truce?” he said, breathing hard.
“Okay, okay, truce.”
He released me from his iron grip, and we lay there quiet, staring up at the ceiling. He reached over and took my hand. “Seriously, though, don’t you ever think about it?”
“About what?”
“You know, kids.”
“Sure, but there’s so much I want to do first. I mean, my mother had me in her early twenties, and I think part of her feels as though she missed out on so much because of that. When she talks about her life before I was in the picture, she gets this look in her eyes, like she’s yearning to go back. I’ll bet if given the chance, she would do it in a flash.”
“I think my mum was the same in that she wanted something more from her life. Something neither Dad nor I could give her—a kind of fulfillment, I suppose. Not that she didn’t do a great job with me, under the circumstances. But I think she must have felt like she walked into something she couldn’t get out of. I always sensed that she felt trapped in a life she never would have chosen had she known any different.”
“That’s what I mean. It takes time to find out who you really are. I think it’s important to get that part right before anything else.”
“Absolutely. I know it’s one of those things people roll their eyes at, but I do believe you have to figure out who you are before you take on that kind of responsibility. I always wonder what my mum’s life would have been like if she didn’t have me. Maybe she would have gone on that road trip, and somewhere along the way, she might have realized that she didn’t want the white picket fence or that she preferred women over men. Even though she got there in the end, she had to go through hell for it.”
“That’s something I am going to do my best to avoid.”
“Me too, though it’s not hard to imagine how it can happen, especially the way I feel about you. I like the idea of the two of us in a little house by the sea with a brood of our own—maybe a dachshund or two. But I know there’s no rush.”
I laughed. “You know I’m a cat person.”
“Okay, how about a Shiba Inu? They’re very catlike dogs, apparently.”
“How about a cat?
“You can have as many cats as you want.”
“Can I have that in writing?”
He laughed. “I’ll get my lawyer to draw up the papers.”
I put my head down on his chest. “Why are you so good to me?”
“Because you’re the only girl in this world who can make me happy. Other than Lexy Robbins, of course.”
“Idiot.”
Rad combed his fingers gently through my hair. “Do I make you happy?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, that’s all I want to do.”
I tipped my chin up to kiss him. I could never get tired of kissing him. “Well, you’re doing exceptionally well so far,” I yawned.
“Tired?” Rad asked. I loved the weight of his body next to mine.
“Uh-huh. I think I’m falling asleep.”
“Audrey.” His voice was like a lullaby, and I could feel my eyelids growing heavy.
“Mmmm,” I murmured.
“Merry Christmas.”
Twenty-three
Autumn crept up slowly, as the tree-lined streets of Surry Hills made their slow transition from green to yellow. I got a text one morning from Eve to let me know Candela had just come out of rehab.
Lucy and I went to her mother’s house later that day. Candela was in the garden hosing the lawn when we arrived. She wore a pair of jeans and a Velvet Underground T-shirt. “You look amazing,” I said and meant it. The last few months had been good to her. She had put some weight back on, and her skin had cleared up dramatically. She was looking like her old self again.
“They had us eating lots of fruits and veggies. All the boring shit. We weren’t allowed to smoke, so I was climbing the walls. But it was worth it. I haven’t felt this great in ages.”
We went into her bedroom, and she put a record in her old vinyl machine. The crackling melody of “At Seventeen” filled the room. “Your bedroom is exactly the same as when you left it,” said Lucy.
“Yeah, it’s a fucking museum. Still, it’s kind of nice being back here again. But I’ll give it a week before Mum starts driving me crazy.”
Lucy threw a glance at me. “Well, you know that spare room we have? It’s a little small, but there’s a bed under all that junk. It’s yours if you want it.”
“Yeah!” I agreed. “Why don’t you move in with us?”
Candela looked from me to Lucy, a smile slowly spreading across her face. “Really? You don’t mind?”
“We’d love to have you,” said Lucy. “Truly.”
“Mum has set me up with a job, so I’ll be able to chip in for groceries and stuff.” Her face was glowing.
“Then it’s settled, roomie!” I said.
A few weeks later, we had a small gathering at our house to welcome Candela.
“Candela looks great,” said Rad, as we sat in the courtyard with Freddy and Lucy.
“Doesn’t she?” said Lucy. “Audrey and Candela are genetically blessed. I kind of lucked out there, but at least I’ve got a great smile.”
“Babe, you’re gorgeous.” Freddy kissed her on the cheek with a loud smack.
“Aw, thanks, babe.”
Candela walked over, cigarette in hand. “Look at your little garden.” She picked one of our gardenias and stuck it behind her ear. “Who knew you and Lucy were such homemakers?”
“Wish they were just as good in the kitchen,” joked Freddy as Lucy slapped at his hand.
Candela laughed. “Well, that’s probably where I’ll come in.”