Sad Girls

As I walked up the steps leading to Candela’s porch, I was hit with the nauseating smell of rubbish. The pile that was there on my last visit was now twice as high. Doing my best to sidestep it, I rang the bell. There was no answer, so I rang it again. On my third try, the door opened a crack, and Ramona’s face peered out from behind it. Her eyes lit up when she saw it was me. “Audrey!” she exclaimed, throwing the door open and grabbing my hand. “Come in! Candela’s inside.”


I wasn’t prepared for the scene that greeted me when we got to the end of the hallway. At the kitchen table sat Candela, her back against a cane wicker chair and her legs wrapped around Dirk. He was holding a small silver spoon in one hand and a lighter in the other as he leaned over the table, frowning with concentration. They both looked up as we came into the room. Candela stood up suddenly, knocking Dirk so he lurched forward, sending a sprinkle of brown sugary powder across the table.

“What the fuck, Candela,” he said, infuriated.

I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I turned to leave and heard her calling me from down the hall.

“Audrey, wait.”

I was near the front door when I heard Ramona say, “Jesus, what the hell is her problem?”

I grabbed at the doorknob roughly and felt a sharp stab of pain against my palm. When I was outside, I saw a trickle of blood and realized I must have cut my hand on the sharp edge of the lock. Candela followed behind me, grabbing the back of my wrist. I spun around to face her. “I was going to tell you,” she said.

“Tell me what? That you’re shooting up now? What the hell are you doing?”

“Why are you so angry?” She looked genuinely surprised. “It’s my fucking life. I’m just having some fun.”

“Fun?” I said incredulously. I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “Candela, wake up! This isn’t about you popping pills or putting shit up your nose. Do you know what this kind of fun leads to?”

“Audrey, chill out for a second.” She stepped away from me.

“No! I’m not going to watch someone I love throw their life away.”

“Oh God, you sound like my mum.” She looked away from me. “I can stop anytime I want.”

“Does your mother know about this?”

“Quit being so judgmental. This is something I would expect from Lucy, not you.”

“Does your mother know about this?” I repeated. “Does Eve? Candela, look at me!” She wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Well, do they?”

She didn’t answer.

“Is this about Ana?” I continued. “Is this how you’re dealing with it?”

Her expression darkened at the mention of Ana’s name. “I wouldn’t go there if I were you,” she warned.

“You know, there was a picture of you in her locket.”

“And?” She put her hands on her hips, daring me to go on.

“What was going on with the two of you?” I demanded.

“Well, you seem to know more than me, Audrey. You’re the one who saw Ana with her dad; you’re the one who got all cozy with her boyfriend—so why are you asking me?”

I was taken aback by the hostility in her voice. I opened my mouth to respond, but she cut me off.

“Maybe you’re the one with the schoolgirl crush.”

“Candela, I—”

“I know what you’re implying about me and Ana, and do you know what? It’s none of your fucking business,” she said, her bright green eyes piercing mine. “Do you hear me, Audrey?” Her voice rose in anger. “So get off my back and worry about your own screwed-up life.” She turned suddenly on her heel and stormed back into the house, slamming the door shut behind her.





Ten

Graduation came and went with little fanfare. Laughter and relief rang through the air. People signed T-shirts with Sharpies and scrawled meaningful quotations in each others’ yearbooks. Out on the sports field, my classmates were burning their schoolbooks in large metal bins—a tradition that continued every year in spite of the oppressive heat.

Candela didn’t show up—not that I expected her to. We hadn’t spoken since our argument, even though I tried calling several times. When I told Lucy what I saw at Candela’s house, she suggested we stage an intervention, but I knew it would be pointless. Candela had always done things on her own terms.

I was making my way over to the English block to meet up with Lucy when Angie came and found me.

“Hey, Audrey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“What’s up, Angie?”

“What are your plans for next year?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t finish my exams, so I suppose I’ll have to take them again or something.”

“Well, my aunt Sam is the editor for See! Sydney, and they’re looking for an intern. I was meant to take the position, but my ultra-glam cousin Cecelia who lives in New York is getting married.” He mouthed the words “shotgun wedding” as if it was the most scandalous thing in the world, and I laughed. “So,” he continued, “Mum and I are going to her wedding, and I think I might stay on in New York for a while and do my own thing. You know, check out the fashion, do some gallery hopping.”

“Sounds neat!”

“I know!” he exclaimed, doing a short, impromptu dance. “I can’t wait!”

“Take me with you!”

He sighed. “I wish I could, sweetie, but I have a feeling I’m going to need the extra baggage space.”

I laughed.

“Anyway, I told Sam about you, and she wants to know if you want to take the intern position at See! Sydney in my place.”

“Wow, really?”

He nodded. “I told her you were my right-hand man with the school mag.”

“Thanks, Angie, I would love that!”

“Cool! I’ll pass on your number, so expect a call from her soon.”

“Do I have to do an interview or anything? I know internships are really hard to come by.”

“Yeah, but just between you and me, you’ve already got the position.”

I hugged him warmly. “Angie, you’re the best!”


I found Lucy by the English block accosting Mr. Sadowski with a Sharpie in one hand and her yearbook in the other. “Write something that will make sense to me in ten years,” she instructed. Mr. Sadowski took the Sharpie from Lucy with a sigh and scribbled in her yearbook: Youth is wasted on the young.


Later, we met Freddy at the school gate, and the three of us stood waiting for Duck. After a few minutes, I spotted him walking in a throng of students who, I realized with a sense of relief, I would never have to see again.

“Duck!” Lucy called. “We’re over here.”

He looked up and waved at us. When he reached the gate, he took my hand, threading his fingers through mine.

“What should we do now?” said Lucy as we made our way up the street.

I shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Did you drive this morning?” Lucy asked Duck.

“No, we took the bus.”

“Okay, good, we can all go in Freddy’s car then . . .”

“It’s a gorgeous day; why don’t we head down to the beach for a swim?” I suggested.

“Yes!” said Lucy. “What a great way to celebrate.”

“Sounds just like another typical day for me,” said Freddy with a grin.

“Well, your extended holiday is coming to an end soon, buddy,” said Lucy.

“Really? Have you finally decided on something, Freddy?” I asked.

“Business.” He put his arm around Lucy’s shoulder. “We’re going to enroll in the same course next year.”

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