“You get back on the field, you take the Patriots to the playoffs, you win a championship, and suddenly the entire world knows who Lance Parker is.”
The realization dawned on him and Lance leaned back. “So that’s it? You’re scared I’ll let fame go to my head? You’re scared I won’t be able to keep my cock out of any random girl who throws herself my way? Is that it?”
Now it was my turn not have any words. I tested out my mouth just like Lance had earlier, before squeaking out, “Yes!” I turned around, again unable to look at him.
Lance walked around me till I was facing him all over again. “Charlotte, if you don’t know me well enough by now to know that’s not the kind of guy I am, maybe you’re right after all, maybe this wasn’t going to work out.”
Lance stepped back and gestured toward the door. “Maybe we were just fooling ourselves.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I felt crushing to say it, it felt like the weight of the world was falling down on me.
“Alright, then, I’ll respect your decision,” Lance said, barely above a whisper. “Even though I don’t agree with it for a second.”
“Thank you.” I walked toward the door, each step feeling like there were stones in my shoes. Resting my hand on the knob, I turned around. “We’ll keep it professional for work stuff?”
Lance looked up. “Yeah. I can do that.” He smiled. “I guess I don’t have a heart to steal after all, eh?”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I let it hang there. “Goodbye, Lance,” I whispered as I turned around and left the room.
Just before the door closed I heard Lance reply, “goodbye, Charlotte.”
I rested myself against the wall outside Lance’s door, my thoughts rioting in my head. I thought this would make me feel better, I thought the voices in my head would quiet down and let me focus better, but I was totally wrong.
Why didn’t I feel any better? Had I made a huge mistake?
CHAPTER 19 - LANCE
Maybe Drake was right. Maybe I didn’t have a heart to steal after all. I mean, if I had, would I have really stood there and watched Charlotte leave like that?
Of course I’d see her again, she and I still worked together, and I knew she needed the job, and I didn’t have time to get another trainer so late in the season.
But still, if I was really the kind of man who could get attached to someone as much as I thought I felt connected to Charlotte before the last 5 minutes, would I really have let her go like that?
I didn’t think so.
I sat back down on my bed after that and tried to think about her as little as possible. As much as I’d want to wallow in despair or try and figure out a clever way to get her back, I had to face reality - she didn’t want to be with me, for whatever reason, and I had something else to worry about.
Getting my career back on track. And that meant getting my starting job back.
The next week or so I spent doing just that, or whatever I could to make that happen. I was first to every meeting, had the answer to every question the quarterbacks’ coach asked, and in team meetings I took over as much as I could. Drake perked up when I walked in the room, and told me afterward that guys had noticed I was back in my old form again.
That felt good to hear, I really had missed being around my brothers all this time. Oliver Lee sulked at first, but he didn’t have nearly the knowledge I had, so he couldn’t do any better than me when the questions got tough.
When it came to the weight room, I came back with a vengeance, putting weight on my knee and feeling how good it felt to work up a sweat and really move some weight around. I set more than one new personal record in a bunch of lifts, and at times the entire gym was full of guys holding up their own workouts to watch me push out another set. Sure, I wasn’t lifting as heavy as any of the linemen, but I was holding my own.
The practice field was the same way. Sure, I was still on the scout team making sure the defense was prepared, but I started to really get into it, watching film on the opposing quarterbacks and figuring out how to tailor my game to really get into their heads and figure out why they did what they did, while giving it my own touch and flair.
Soon I had our backup offense giving the starting defense a good run for their money, and the coaches noticed. During a couple practices, Coach Armstrong pulled me aside and told me to ease up a bit so the defensive starters didn’t lose their confidence. I laughed and agreed, but Armstrong told me under his breath to keep doing what I was doing.
That was a good sign, I thought.
Everything aside from Charlotte was starting to go my way. Of course, Charlotte, though I would never admit it even to myself, had become one of, if not the most, important aspects of my life.