Matt looked at me, angry and offended. “I’m so done with you defending him. He’s a piece of shit, Alyssa.”
I stood up and snapped, “I’m so done with you, period.” I stormed out of his room, annoyed with him.
I felt guilty, knowing that I was taking the first excuse I could to free myself from the relationship with Matt. I didn’t really like him, I admitted to myself. It was helpful at first, a good distraction from Blake, but it was time to end it. I wished that I really did like Matt, because it would have made my life so much easier. I hated that I still had feelings for Blake. It had been over a month, and except for the few isolated incidents, we had barely seen each other.
I walked back to Matt’s room, knocking hesitantly, guilty for taking my emotions out on him. I had to talk to him, explain to him why I couldn’t be with him. He opened the door, holding the ice pack to his head. He wore a cold look on his face and asked, “What do you want?”
“Look, Matt,” I started, looking down, having a hard time saying the words that needed to be said. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I just want you to know that I’m not breaking up with you because of a petty fight between you and Blake.” I lifted my head, looking into his eyes as I continued. “I have feelings for someone else, and it isn’t that I don’t like you, but I just can’t get over those feelings. I’m really sorry, and I hope we can still be friends.”
He was quiet for a moment and finally, he let out a yielding sigh. “Well, I appreciate your honesty, I guess. I’ll see you around.”
I gave him a small smile and said, “In a different world, we would have been really good together.”
He shook his head and shut his door, simply saying, “See you around, Alyssa.”
I walked away, grateful for the closure, but guilt still loomed over me. My phone rang, distracting me from my nagging thoughts. “Hi, Dad.” I felt relieved to hear a comforting voice.
“Hey, honey. How is school?” he asked.
“Good,” I commented. “So what’s up?”
“Debbie and I are going to Blake’s game Friday. It’s at five, so make sure you’re there,” he told me.
I bit my lip, knowing Blake wouldn’t want me there. “I have a lot of homework, Dad,” I said, hoping to get out of it.
“It’s just one night, and it will make Debbie happy. Do it for your pop,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Okay, Dad. I’ll be there. Love you.” I suppressed my irritation at breaking down and agreeing to go.
“Love you too, pumpkin,” he replied before hanging up.
I sighed, thinking about how much had changed in the last year, beginning to miss when it was just my father and me against the world. At least he’s happy, I thought. Even though I’m not. I frowned because I had to patch things up with Blake. We couldn’t spend the rest of our lives together in an angry, hostile environment. This football game was just one event in a long list of family vacations and activities that would take place. Whether we liked it or not, Blake and I were going to have to deal with each other, and we both deserved to be happy. We would have to come to a solution. We were a family, and we had to act like it.
***
I slid on a summery blue dress with a white cardigan, ready to go watch Blake’s game with our parents. I had thought again about trying to skip it, but I missed him desperately. I headed to the field, grateful to see that our parents hadn’t arrived yet, giving me time to find a seat in the bleachers, which were already beginning to fill up.
I started to climb the steps when I heard my dad’s voice, and I turned. He and Debbie were standing next to the coach. I groaned and mumbled under my breath. “So much for trying to blend in with the crowd.”
I joined them awkwardly as the game was about to begin. I felt nervous and excited all at once, reminding me of when I first fell for Blake. I watched as the team ran out onto the field, the crowd erupting with cheers. We clapped, and I tried to avoid looks from Matt, who was surely not happy to see me there.
Finally, my eyes landed on Blake, and my heart skipped a beat, excited to see him. Debbie cheered loudly when she saw her son, and I laughed at her enthusiasm, my doubts about being there beginning to fade. The game began, and the crowd fell quiet as they started their first play.