“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, his breath tickling her forehead. She nodded. “I didn’t want to get married. I was angry I didn’t get to choose. But—promise you won’t tell my parents I said this.” His voice held a trace of humor. “I couldn’t have chosen any better than you.”
He brushed her hair behind her ear, and she reached up, lacing her fingers between his. She brought their hands in close to her chest, brushing a kiss across his knuckles.
“You’re so much better than I expected too,” he whispered, his lips grazing her ear as he spoke.
His legs intertwined with hers, and she knew that in the morning she would regret letting him hold her like this. She would think of how the contours of his body felt against hers, how she could feel him smile when he kissed her forehead. She would remember it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and she could already feel the pain that would accompany it. The memory of how he felt when he cared about her was going to be the most painful thing after he began to hate her.
TWENTY
“I’M LEAVING TONIGHT.”
Iria’s head shot up at Em’s words, her face crinkling in confusion. “What?”
Em turned to Aren, who was perched on the edge of a chair. They were in the library, at the far end of the room in case anyone got the urge to listen by the door. He was obviously surprised, but also maybe relieved.
“I have everything I need,” she said. “It’s time for me to go get Olivia.”
“You do not have everything we need,” Iria said. “We need for you to stay so you don’t arouse suspicion.”
Iria had a point about that. Surely there would be questions if she suddenly disappeared.
But she couldn’t keep lying to Cas. She’d told him she would come to his room again tonight, and she wanted to do it so desperately, her chest ached.
But she couldn’t look into his eyes and lie. Not even one more time.
“We were planning to attack within a week, probably less,” Iria said. “You can wait a few more days.”
“I need time to get to Olivia,” Em said. “What if they move her after the attack?”
Iria pulled a piece of hair from her braid and twirled it around her finger. “Tell you what. We’ll give you a two-day head start. I’ll confirm when the attack is happening, and you can leave two days before that. At that point it will be too late for them to launch any kind of effective defense, even if your disappearance arouses suspicions. They’ll still be trying to figure out where you went and why.”
Em hesitated. That meant two to three more days in the castle.
Two to three more days with Cas.
What if she used those days to warn him? She couldn’t just let him die when Olso attacked. Was it foolish to think she could attempt to make him understand?
“Fine,” she said quietly.
“Good,” Iria said. “I’ll send word for some warriors to head down to the Vallos Mountains to help you.”
“That’s another thing,” Em said, rubbing her finger across her necklace. “I’d like you to spare Cas in the attack.”
Silence met her words, the only sound the clock ticking from the other side of the room. Aren’s brow was so furrowed she thought it must have hurt to keep it that way.
“I’m sorry?” Iria finally said.
“Em . . .” Aren’s voice trailed off, and he shook his head, as if trying to find the words. “Why?”
“Cas is not the same as his father. He shouldn’t—”
“You have got to be joking,” Aren said. “Em, please tell me you haven’t fallen in love with him.”
Iria snorted. “You’re the only one who hadn’t noticed, Aren.”
“I’m not in love with him—”
“Of course you’re not,” Iria said.
“I know him,” Em said. “He disagrees with all of his father’s policies, and he’ll change things. If you give him a—”
“I can’t . . .” Aren laughed in a way that almost sounded deranged. “I don’t . . .” He shook his hands in exasperation. “I don’t even have any words.”
Em pressed her lips together, fighting back the sudden urge to cry. Aren was staring at her as if she’d just disappointed him for the first time.
“Our orders are to kill the entire royal family,” Iria said.
“Not Cas,” Em said quietly. Aren sank deeper into his chair, moaning as he put his hands over his face.
“Yes, Cas,” Iria said. “And the king, the queen, and Jovita. The entire royal line needs to be eliminated, which, I would like to remind you, was the plan all along.”
“I know it was. But if you allow Cas to talk to your king—”
“I assure you that King Lucio has no interest in talking to Cas.”
“At least give him the option of surrendering his kingdom willingly!”
“Do you really think he’d take that option?”
Em pressed a hand to her forehead. No. She couldn’t see Cas bowing down to the Olso king and willingly surrendering the kingdom he loved. Even to save his life.
“Listen,” Iria said, her tone softer. “I won’t do it myself. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t kill him. But it’s not up to me. There will be a lot of warriors here—at your request, I might add—and they have orders.”
“Fine.”
“Fine? What does fine mean?”