“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Noelle. Not at all, and I’m sorry that it did. I just knew if you called me and I heard that sweet voice of yours that I would be right back on a plane coming back to your ass. I couldn’t do that. I had to force myself to not text you or check up on you. Mark told me you were okay, and that’s all that I could manage.” Royal sounded so conflicted, and I could see the pain it caused him. The bags under his eyes told me he had lost just as much sleep in the last week as I had.
“I would’ve understood. You could’ve waited.” A tear slipped from my eye, and before I could wipe it away, Royal reached out squishing it with his thumb.
“Never think that I left to get away from you. If I could’ve brought you with me, I would have. Goddamn, Noelle, it ripped me the fuck up inside to leave you in that hospital bed while I went back to that house and packed my bags, but I had to do what was right for both of us.” He cradled me in his hands, like a fragile child trying to make me understand why he made the decision to leave.
“I’m sorry.” I sniffled, trying to hold my emotions in. I wanted him to unravel me. To run his fingers through my hair and stake claim to my mouth, but I had no way of telling him what it was that I needed.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s me that should be sorry. I had no idea that it would hurt this badly. It felt like a knife was being stabbed through my chest every day and night. All I could do was think about you and wonder what it was that you were doing, or if you missed me as much as I missed you.” I laid my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around him. The thump of his heartbeat sounded in my ear. It was astounding how the sound of another human’s heartbeat could calm a person so much.
“Missed you? I was dying. I was so alone, trapped in that house. You were the only thing that made being there bearable,” I confessed, my words muffled against his shirt. He held me to his chest as if he needed my touch as much as I needed his.
“Don’t say that.” Hurt laced his words, and I pulled away from him noticing that he was looking away from me.
“It broke my heart to know that you ran away and didn’t take me with. I would’ve followed you anywhere. Which is why I’m here now. I had to know that it wasn’t me that did this. If I walked in this house and you told me to leave I would have, but you didn’t. I knew then that you didn’t leave because of me.” I squeezed him tightly against my chest.
As I pulled away from him, I noticed a solemn look showing in his eyes, his tongue darting out wetting his lips, and I wanted to unleash my soul upon him.
“God. You are so fucking beautiful, Noelle.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and then down to my cheek and over my neck and throat. Little puffs of breath left my mouth, and I melted into a puddle as he skimmed his nose over the sensitive flesh of my throat.
“I missed you so much. The feel of your arms around me. The touch of your lips.” I moaned. His fingers dug into my skin as I released my hold on him, giving him more access to my throat, to my body.
“You have no fucking idea what you do to me, do you?” His teeth sunk into my flesh and a cry of pleasure radiated loudly out of me. I wanted him so badly that it physically hurt to be away from him.
“I feel the same, Royal. When I’m away from you it’s like I go through withdrawals. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve never felt addicted to a person’s touch.” His tongue licked over the spot he had just bitten me. The feeling was erotic and foreign, and I wanted so much more of it.
Hell, I needed more of it just to live.
“Shhh…” he purred against my skin, bringing his lips up to mine. It was then that I forgot everything else after that because his lips were finally on mine. His hands were in my hair, pulling out the rubber band and running his fingers through the locks. I was breathing him in, his scent imprinting on me. His body mending all the broken pieces.
“Give me everything…” he gasped, his tongue slipping into my mouth. He swallowed my moans of pleasure, pushing me down onto his bed. I didn’t care about anything else in that moment. The shit that happened with my mom didn’t matter. The fact that I traveled clear across the United States to be with him didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that we were reunited, and he was touching me just as I’ve always wanted him to.
Nimble fingers slipped down into my yoga pants, and he cupped my pussy, his fingers tracing my lips. He possessed me, and that scared me, because without him I felt lost. Like I had no home.
Royal Black owned me. He marked my body, and now I was forever bestowed to him. I needed him more than I needed anything else to live. Was this what love felt like? When you felt like you couldn’t breathe without them being near?
“I need to fuck you, but I can’t right this second…” His voice was a groan as he pulled away from me. I could feel the desire of his confession against my belly, his hard length pressing firmly against me.