“I can’t…” More rushing of words. “We can’t I mean. We can’t do this. It’s wrong. It’s bad. It’s just not going to work, and I can’t handle heartbreak. Not on top of everything else that is going on in my life.” I walked over to her, pulling her hands away from her still covered face so I could see that beautiful blush and stare into those majestic hazel orbs.
“You’re thinking far too much into this,” I assured her, smoothing a hand down the side of her face. When she finally looked up at me, I couldn’t help but feel my heart soaring through the air. It was a strange feeling, almost like flying, the lightness that fills your belly as you jump into the air, knowing that nothing but gravity is going to bring you right back down to where it all started.
That feeling alone wrapped around me, forcing me to remember that you couldn’t rush something that you wanted to last forever.
“No, Royal, I’m not. I’m not ready for this… For you. You’re so intense. So dark, and so different than I ever expected.” She stopped, a frown forming on her face.
I didn’t know what to say to that, because it was all true.
“I’m not Sasha. I’m not experienced. I can’t handle all of this at once.” Panic pierced her words. I wanted to take those emotions from her and throw them away.
“You’re ready, and believe me I know you’re nothing like Sasha.” I sat down on the bed next to her, forcing her body into my own, my hands gliding up her body, stopping at her cheeks so that I could cup them in my hands. The warmth of her skin against my palm told me just how real all of this was between us.
“Fear is something expected when you’re walking blindly in the dark,” I continued.
“I’m not scared of you, Royal. I’m scared of this. I’m scared of what I feel for you and for the pleasure you’ve showed me.” She gestured to us, her eyes casting down in the direction of my chest as if she was ashamed to have admitted her feelings out loud.
“Only because you’ve never felt something like this before. Don’t push me away. Don’t stop this before it even has a chance to start. I’m consumed by you Noelle… Completely fucking owned by you. Something about you makes my heartbeat speed up, my palms sweat, and my cock swell.”
You would think my confessions wouldn’t be seen so much as a shock anymore, but the look on her face said she was still very much shocked. Clearly she wasn’t getting the picture, and I needed to reassure her of those feelings.
I grabbed her hand placing it against my still hard cock. She tried to pull away but I gripped her hand harder pushing it down against my throbbing cock.
“This is for you, baby— all of it— every single inch. You might not be ready today, tomorrow, or even next week, but I will get a taste of that sweet pussy of yours and I will fuck you, because I’ve never felt this way about anyone, not like how I feel about you.”
“Royal…” Realization hit her straight in the chest. She knew there was no running away from this. I wouldn’t let her; couldn’t let her. There was no way I would be able to handle the pain of losing her.
Once upon a time, I might have blamed her for what happened between my mother and father, but I was starting to realize she had nothing to do with it. She was merely a speck in the giant picture.
“I want you so fucking bad, so badly that it hurts to be away from you. I feel whole when I’m with you, like the missing piece to my puzzle is you; like you won’t ever judge me for being who I am. You understand the dark pieces of me, and you get the brokenness that swirls around inside of me. You get me when no one else does or ever has.”
“I…” She licked her lips. “I feel the same things. All of it, word for word. I just know there isn’t any real way this can work between us. I know when something is too good to be true. I know when to give up on the happily ever after, Royal.” It pained me to hear her say those words. She was ready to give up on her happily ever after, having just discovered everything I felt for her.
I placed a soft kiss against her forehead. I would do whatever I could to make sure this was okay for her. Even if we couldn’t have forever, we could have now, and that would just have to be enough for right now.
It would have to be.
“I’ll make sure it’s all okay…” I soothed her with a hand down her back. She buried her face in the crook of my neck, taking in deep breaths. She shuddered against me as she released the breath she had just taken in. We both jumped at the slamming of the front door, and it sounded as if the whole house shook with the force of it. I think we both knew right then and there that things were about change.
“NOELLE!!!” Her mother’s voice boomed up the stairs. You could hear the furious rage that lingered behind her words.
Yeah, shit was about to hit the fucking fan.
Chapter Eighteen
-Noelle