I sprang to my feet and launched myself at the other guard, beyond rage. I couldn’t help Luna. Maybe I couldn’t even help myself. Perhaps this was really it—the end—with me rotting in this dungeon, emerging only when it was time to fight dwellers for the amusement of Tebald and his nobles.
But I could do this. In this moment, I could inflict pain.
I pummeled at him, swinging my fists, bone striking bone, skin breaking, warm blood flowing. Mine. His. It didn’t matter. It was release.
I hit and hit, roaring until two guards pulled me off. They turned on me then, beating me with hot, spit-flying curses. Boots. Fists. I took it all, curling into a ball on the moldy stone floor. I took every blow they dealt, absorbing the pain, welcoming it because it paled beside the agony of losing Luna, leaving her with Tebald. I grunted, jerking from the volley of fists and boots until my world faded to nothing.
THIRTY
Luna
I WAS LEFT alone in my chamber. It seemed forever that I paced, my pulse racing at my throat as I thought about Fowler stuck in that dungeon and my impending wedding to Tebald.
A maid came, as always, to help ready me for bed. I sent her away and went through the motions myself. I didn’t want the company. Lying in the center of the massive bed, I surrendered to the tears I’d held back in front of Tebald. Once they ran out, the numbness crept in.
I wiped my cheeks dry, sniffing loudly in the cavernous silence of my chamber. Tears were weakness. I was alive. And because of my agreement with Tebald, Fowler would live, too.
I inhaled a shuddery breath. I could do this. I could live this life. It wasn’t the one I’d planned for myself, but it could be worse. People were dying without hope, without friends or loved ones, without having ever known love. I could have been one of them, and yet I wasn’t. I’d always have that.
Any time things became too unbearable I only had to think of Fowler alive and well somewhere out there. Maybe in Allu. A wobbly smile shook my lips. That would be enough to get me through.
I stilled at the sound of soft voices murmuring outside my door. I knew Tebald had stationed two guards at my door, but they had been silent for the last several hours since he’d left me.
My heart seized in my chest as the door creaked open, and I remembered Fowler’s ominous words to me, how Tebald could claim me now even without the formality of the wedding.
I swallowed back a whimper and clutched the bedcovers at my throat. Propping myself up on my elbows, I turned my face in the direction of the door and the individual standing there. I felt his gaze on me across the length of the room.
I stretched my senses, trying to detect his identity, his intent. I knew it wasn’t Fowler. Even if he wasn’t in the dungeon, even if I hadn’t lost him, I would know him. I would recognize his presence.
The door clicked shut and steps sounded toward me, each one making my heart plunge deeper into my twisting stomach. I sat up, covers pooling around my waist. It was definitely a he, and he was coming for me. The bed dipped slightly with the weight of one knee.
I scurried backward, my pulse a wild beat at my neck, threatening to burst from my skin as I pressed myself into the ornate headboard. I opened my mouth to scream. A hand slammed over my mouth, forcing my head back, silencing me. I kicked and punched but it was useless.
His weight pinned me, filling me with impotent rage. I freed one arm and sent my fist rocking into his jaw.
A familiar voice cursed and the hand over my mouth loosened.
“Chasan? What are you doing here?”
“Apparently getting my jaw broken.”
I shoved at him, scrambling out from under him. “It’s what you deserve.”
“Even if I’m here to help you?”
I stilled, my heart stalling for a moment. “You’ll help me? What about Fowler?”
He sighed, shifting his weight. “I suppose I can’t help you without helping him, too. You’ve made that fairly clear.”
“You’ll help us,” I repeated as if I needed that agreement from him written in blood.
“That’s right. Get yourself dressed and we’ll go get him. Unless you want to stick around and marry my father.”
“No,” I gasped, springing from the bed. I started toward the armoire, but stopped, turned back around, and launched myself at Chasan. I hugged him tightly. “Thank you. I knew you were different.”
“Yeah. My father has been complaining about that all my life,” he grumbled, his breath lost in my hair.
I pulled back and touched his face, brushing my fingers along his cheek. “That’s a good thing. Never be like him, Chasan. Someday you’ll rule this country. Lagonia needs you.”
“Yes. I only wish you needed me, too.” His breath fanned my face warmly and he covered my hand where it pressed against his cheek. “But you don’t. You, Luna, queen of Relhok, don’t need me, or anyone for that matter.”
“That’s true, but I want Fowler.” I turned my hand over and squeezed his hand lightly, feeling a strange camaraderie swell between us.
“I know.” He sighed. “I know.” He rose from the bed and gave me a gentle push toward the armoire. “So let’s go get him.”
THIRTY-ONE
Fowler