Maybe I needed to try to do the same.
The following night the hall was bustling, nobility and gentry alike in full attendance. The hounds trotted amid tables, happily gobbling up the scraps tossed their way, growling and snapping when they got in each other’s way. Only here did people turn their noses up at food while the peasants of Ainswind rooted for their next meal in the scraps tossed to them after the king and his court dined.
I moved stiffly, still sore from yesterday’s fight with Chasan. The only thing that made me feel better was that he looked much the same as I did.
I dodged a dog the size of a bear as I escorted Maris to the head table upon the dais, my stiffness not solely because of my soreness. It felt unnatural touching Maris and pretending that I didn’t want to snatch Luna up into my arms.
I didn’t need to look to feel Chasan’s gaze on me. The threat was there. He wanted to finish what we started Outside. He could, too. He could end Luna and me with one word to his father. The knowledge held me in careful check. A second escape wouldn’t be easy. Chasan would be expecting it, but it would happen. It had to.
Maris preened, resplendent in a blue gown that made me remember my last glimpse of the sky before everything went dark.
Clinging to my arm, she greeted friends who called out to her and stared after her with greedy eyes. I suppose a measure of this was due to the gold crown woven into her hair. The headpiece matched her glittering strands. That crown marked her above everyone else. I vaguely remembered what it felt like to be admired, to feel as though anything could be yours because generally it was. I had felt invincible.
It had been an illusion. Losing Bethan wasn’t the first hint, but it was the one that pushed me out, made me rush headlong into a world teeming with monsters, because that was real at least. And I wanted reality over illusions.
My gaze drifted down the table to where Luna sat. She’d become my reality.
Tebald was already sitting at the helm of the head table. He nodded at me in lofty regard. My gaze moved back to Luna sitting beside Chasan. I assessed them briefly, even though it physically pained me. The vision imprinted itself on my mind: Luna dazzling in a red gown, her shoulders and throat bare, her dark hair pulled up, studded with jewels. She looked as she should look—as she was born to look. She looked like a queen: achingly lovely but impossible to touch. Except for Chasan. He could touch her and hold her arm as they walked. He could brush his fingers over her hand. It made me gnash my teeth.
I couldn’t stare at her overly long without attracting undue attention. Even at my brief glance, a slow creep of pink swept up her décolletage and neck. She felt my stare—felt me. That was enough for now.
I lowered my face as Maris warbled on, complaining that her favorite cheese was not on the table. I feigned interest in the food spread out before me, but it was mostly to hide my smile.
My pretend interest in the food was cut short when Tebald rose from the table, clanging a spoon against his goblet to gain everyone’s attention.
Maris was the last to stop talking beside me. Resting a hand on top of my arm as though she was afraid I might vanish on her when she looked in another direction, she swung her gaze toward her father with mild interest.
“Friends.” The king spread his arms wide, the large sleeves of his robes like great purple wings at either side of him. “We have much to celebrate. We are safe behind our walls. Our fortifications have not suffered a breach in these long years.”
A cheer broke out in response to this. Everyone quieted as the king continued, “And we will continue to prosper into the next generation with the marriage of my daughter to Prince Fowler.” He paused for an eruption of further applause. I shifted uneasily, forcing a smile. Several goblets banged on tables in salute. “Lagonia shall not only survive but thrive with a second marriage that will more greatly enforce the union of two kingdoms.” The king lifted his goblet high, and others shouted out and cheered. Even a hound bayed, joining the din.
Everyone drank deeply. I followed suit, deliberately trying not to look in Luna’s direction, to see her reaction to this. Would the words prick at her conscience and make her feel obligated to stay and marry Prince Chasan?
The king’s voice continued, rolling over the room like a hot vapor and pulling me from my thoughts. “Lift your cups again and toast my nuptials to the queen of Relhok.”
Stunned silence met the announcement. I blinked and looked around, gauging expressions, questioning whether I had heard what I heard. Everyone else looked as bewildered as I felt.