“But Mummy, do you not realize that until you are baptized, you can never enter the kingdom of heaven?”
“How many times do I have to tell you I am not a Christian?”
“Don’t be silly, Mummy, of course you are. If you’re not a Christian, you won’t be able to go to heaven. Don’t you want to be with Daddy…and all of us in the future that is eternity?”
Su Yi could not think of a worse fate than to be trapped with her eem zheem*2 daughter throughout all of eternity. She simply sighed, tired of having this conversation again.
“Er, Mrs. Young…if I might ask,” the bishop began gingerly, “if you aren’t a Christian, what do you consider yourself to be?”
“I respect every god,” she replied softly.
Victoria rolled her eyes derisively. “My grandfather Shang Loong Ma’s people were Buddhists, Taoists, Quan Yin worshippers, all that mishmash of religions…you know, in that old-fashioned Chinese sort of way.”
The bishop adjusted his collar, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Well, Victoria, we really can’t force your mother to be baptized, but perhaps we can pray that she will allow Jesus Christ into her heart. We have to let Jesus come into her softly, gently.”
“I don’t need Jesus to come into me,” Su Yi said agitatedly. “I am not Christian. If I’m anything, I’m a Jain.”
“Mummy, what on earth are you talking about? What is a Jane? Are you confused and talking about your friend Jane Wrightsman?” Victoria asked, looking up at the IV machine to make sure her mother wasn’t being overdosed with some crazy opiate.
“Jainism is an ancient religion that is an offshoot of Hinduism—”*3 Bishop See began to explain.
Victoria stared at her mother in horror. “Hinduism? You can’t possibly be Hindu. My goodness, our laundry maids are Hindu! Don’t say you are a Hindu, Mummy—it would absolutely break my heart!”
Su Yi shook her head wearily and pressed the buzzer in her right hand. Moments later, her lady’s maids entered the room. “Madri, Patravadee, please show Victoria out,” she ordered.
“Victoria, come, we can say a prayer together outside,” the bishop urged, glancing up at Su Yi’s heart rate monitor nervously.
“Mother, you can’t just order me out of your room like this. Your soul is in peril!” Victoria shrieked, as Alix entered the bedroom amid all the commotion.
Su Yi glanced up at Alix pleadingly. “Please tell Victoria to leave. She is irritating me to death!”
“All right then,” Victoria said in a quiet voice, as she turned swiftly and stormed out of the bedroom.
Patravadee turned to Su Yi with an attentive smile. “Madame, your usual porridge this morning?”
“Yes. And tell them to put an egg in it today,” Su Yi instructed. As soon as her lady’s maids left, Su Yi let out a long sigh.
“She means well, Mummy,” Alix said diplomatically.
“Why does she always have to be such a nuisance? And I can’t stand that fat little lan jiau bin*4 See Bei Sien. You know he only wants money for his cathedral building fund. Victoria writes him so many checks every month her account is always going into overdraft.”
“Victoria may have her irritating ways, but she has a good heart. She is the most generous person out of anyone I know.”
Su Yi smiled at Alix. “And you are always the peacemaker. Even when you were a little girl, you were always the one to heal the rifts between your sisters. Will you be sure to keep the peace after I’m gone?”
“Of course, Mummy. But don’t worry—Prof Oon assures me your heart is improving every day. Even Malcolm said he’s so pleased with your progress.”
“That may be the case, but I know I can’t live forever.”
Alix didn’t know what to say. She simply busied herself by straightening her mother’s bedsheets and smoothing them out.
“Alix, you don’t have to be afraid for me. I have no fear of death—you have no idea how many times I’ve stared it in the face. I just don’t wish to be in any pain, that’s all.”
“Prof Oon is making sure of that,” Alix said matter-of-factly.
“Alix, will you do me a favor? Will you call Freddie Tan and tell him to come over?”
“Er…Freddie Tan, your lawyer?” Alix asked, unnerved by the request.
“Yes. It’s very important that I see him as soon as possible. His number is in the address book on my dressing table.”
“Of course. I’ll go and call him right now,” Alix said.
Su Yi closed her eyes, attempting to relax for a moment. She was still trying to forget the look of hurt she had seen on Victoria’s face after she had snapped at her. Stupid girl! The words came echoing back to her, from a memory far back in time…
“You stupid, stupid girl!”
Her father had snarled angrily when Su Yi had appeared in the basement of the shop house at Telok Ayer Street. “Do you know the fortune I spent, the number of favors I had to call in, just to get you safely out of Singapore? Why are you here?”
“Did you think I could just sit in the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel while I got news every day about all the terrible things that were happening back here? All the bombings, all the people being tortured and killed?”
“Which is exactly why I got you out of Singapore! On the last frigate out!”
“I didn’t know what was happening here, Pa. I got news about everyone else—Tan Kah Kee, Uncle SQ, Uncle Tsai Kuen, but there was never any news of you. When Chin Tuan came to India, he said he hadn’t heard any news about you. That’s when I thought you had been captured or maybe even killed somewhere!”
“I told you you weren’t going to hear from me. I told you I would be fine!”
“Fine? Look at you—hiding in a hole in the ground, dressed in rags!” Su Yi said, tears in her eyes as she looked at her father in his stained singlet and trousers full of cigar ash. She had never seen her father out of his three-piece suit before. With his head shaved and his face smeared with dirt, he looked almost unrecognizable.
“Silly girl! Don’t you see I’m dressed like this on purpose? The only way to survive is to be invisible. I made myself look like an illiterate dockworker. The Japanese soldiers don’t even bother to spit in my direction! Now how the hell did you get back into the country without getting yourself raped or killed?”
Su Yi gestured at the Thai silk dress she was wearing. “I crossed from India to Burma on the train, and then came down through Bangkok as part of the Thai ambassador’s entourage—I’m disguised as a lady’s maid to Princess Narisara Bhanubhakdi.”