From RANKMYPEER.CO.UK
Lord Lucien Plantagenet Montagu-Scott, Earl of Palliser, is the eldest son of the Duke of Glencora. In 2013, Tattle listed him as one of the ten most eligible bachelors in Britain. According to the Sunday Times Rich List, the Duke of Glencora is the fifth-largest landowner in England, with holdings in Northamptonshire, Suffolk, and Scotland. But the crown jewels of their portfolio are vast property holdings in Central London. Next to the Dukes of Westminster and Portland, the Glencoras are London’s leading landlords, owning huge swaths of prime Bloomsbury and Chelsea. Furthermore, Lucien’s mother, Liliane, hails from the French Rochambords. C’est formidable!
TS: This must be new! It didn’t pop up when I did a search on him!
WMW: Holy fuck!
GT: Colette the future Duchess of Glencora! Kitty’s going to shit gold bricks if she finds out about this.
TS: What do you mean IF? I just sent everything to her.
GT: You what?!?
Suddenly, all three women’s phones started buzzing as a group call was being initiated from a Shanghai number.
WMW: That’s Kitty calling!
TS: Should we pick up? She can see that we’re all on a group chat.
“Tatiana, you silly bitch,” Georgina muttered under her breath as she swiped her phone to initiate the group call.
“Hi Kitty!” Wandi said in an overly cheery pitch.
“Hi everyone. What’s this you sent me?” Kitty asked.
“Um, did you look at the picture or look at the link I just sent? Check out the photo. Don’t bother looking at the other links,” Tatiana piped in urgently. There was a brief pause while Kitty scrutinized the picture on the screen of her phone.
“What am I supposed to be looking at? There’s a bunch of gray-haired women with yellow teeth.”
“You don’t see the bride?” Wandi asked.
“No—”
Georgina cut in. “Kitty, scroll down to the bottom of the page. Do you see the image of the bride and groom?”
There was silence for a few moments, as the girls all held their breath, not knowing how Kitty would react.
“How interesting,” Kitty finally said in a frighteningly neutral tone.
“Colette looks awful, doesn’t she? Without her usual makeup and jewelry, she’s such a plain Jane—her common features really come out.” Wandi sniggered.
“She looks like she’s fallen on hard times,” Tatiana remarked.
Kitty let out a little laugh. “I can assure you Colette hasn’t fallen on hard times. She’s just trying to appear modest to impress her new relatives. They look like the sort of people Corinna Ko-Tung is always trying to introduce me to. Well, good luck to her and her new English life.”
Georgina was relieved that Kitty was taking it all so well. She was crossing her fingers, hoping to God that Kitty had completely missed the articles about the bridegroom when Kitty suddenly asked, “So do we know anything about the Rochambords?”
Damn, she’s read everything, Wandi said to herself.
“I’ve never heard of them.” Georgina sniffed.
“Hey, I’m at this house party on Mustique right now, and there’s a girl here who might know,” Tatiana offered, adding rather unnecessarily, “She comes from a high-society family in France, from what I’m told.”
Tatiana padded out onto the terrace of the Balinese-style villa, where the girlfriend of her husband’s business partner sat sipping black coffee out of a bowl. “Lucie, I’m on the phone with some friends. Have you ever heard of a family in France called the Rochambords?”
“Which branch?” Lucie asked.
“Um…I don’t know. We know someone who married a guy whose mother is a Rochambord. Here, let me put you on speakerphone…”
“The mother’s name is Liliane Rochambord,” Georgina offered.
Lucie’s eyes widened. “Liliane de Rochambord? Are you talking about the mother of Lucien Montagu-Scott?”
“Yes! Do you know him?” Tatiana asked excitedly.
Lucie shook her head with a sigh. “I don’t know him personally, but my God, every girl in France was madly in love with him. I mean, he’s a future duc, and his mother is one of the Bretagne Rochambords, not the Paris branch that are the poorer cousins.”
“But who are the Rochambords?” Georgina pressed on.
“Oh, they are an ancienne famille de la noblesse…how do you say…an ancient noble family that intermarried with the Bourbons, and their line goes back to Louis XIII. The Paris branch has all the vineyards—you know, Chateau de Rochambord—but the Bretagne Rochambords own one of the biggest military defense companies in France. They make all the submarines and ships for the French navy. So who’s your friend that married Lucien?”
“Colette Bing. But she’s not our friend exactly,” Tatiana said awkwardly.
“She’s a socialite and fashion blogger from Shanghai that—” Wandi began.
“She’s a spoiled little cunt!” Kitty suddenly blurted out.
Everyone was too shocked to speak at first, but Georgina tried to turn it into a joke. “Haha, yes, she’s famous for that spoiled rant that went viral, isn’t she, Kitty?”
The line went silent for a few moments.
“Uh…I think Kitty hung up,” Tatiana said.
* * *
*1 Smiling, laughing, frowning, or arching of eyebrows is highly discouraged, though.
*2 What Wandi doesn’t know is that the only people who can be married in Westminster Abbey are members of the British royal family, Order of the Bath members and their children, or anyone living in the Abbey’s precincts. St. Paul’s only allows weddings for members of the Order of Saint Michael and Saint George, the Order of the British Empire, holders of the British Empire Medal, and members of the Imperial Society of Knights Bachelor and their children (but not their grandchildren).
*3 Chinese + Indonesian × Aristocrat = Chindocrat
*4 She knew by age three that Hugo was too dumb to get in to Raffles.
*5 If they happened to be Japanese, Vietnamese, or any other type of Asian not mentioned on this list, abort scanner function. Totally inconsequential.
CHAPTER TWO
RANAKPUR, INDIA