As she stumbled through the front door and finally made it to her bedroom, she collapsed on the bed, finally free to let out the emotion she’d been struggling to hold in on the walk back. Her wails had turned to screams now, screams of anger at the universe for cursing them in this way. Hadn’t God taken enough from her? Hadn’t she fought for happiness and peace enough? Yet she could never find it, not here, not in Nashville.
Even now, she still loved him. She wasn’t sure she knew him, but what she knew she loved with such a force that was outside of her own will. If it had been anything else, she could have taken it. But this secret… Now she understood. It hadn’t ever been about her. It had been about protecting someone else, even if he tried to use her as a scapegoat. He’d been protecting the DeGraff name. It came before everything, even justice.
How could she ever get beyond that?
Six Weeks Earlier…
Charlotte had been treating Melanie Hopp for all eight months of her pregnancy. Melanie was a young, soon-to-be first time mother-newly married when she found out she was pregnant. She had resisted finding out the sex of the baby at her 20-week anatomy scan, but Melanie Hopp couldn’t wait any longer. Now that she was 33 weeks, she was tired of waiting on the surprise. She had to know. When Charlotte had informed her the baby was a boy, Melanie had about jumped out of her skin with joy.
“Oh that makes me so happy!” Melanie drawled. Melanie was from the country, out near Franklin, and Charlotte found her to be completely charming. She was one of her favorite patients.
“You really wanted a boy?” Charlotte said, smiling.
“Yes! Well… I would have been happy with just a healthy baby. But my husband really had his heart set on a son. He didn’t say it, just a feeling I get. And now I get to tell him I’m giving him one!”
Charlotte nodded, “When will you get to talk to him?”
Melanie’s husband, Jason, was in the army and on deployment in the Middle East. He’d had to leave soon after Melanie found out she was pregnant and, unfortunately, he probably wouldn’t be back in time for the birth.
Yet Melanie never seemed to let that get her down. She was a cheerful soul, always one to look on the bright side of things. Charlotte couldn’t help but be in a good mood after her appointments with her. Melanie had a special kind of contagious energy that injected joy into everyone she spoke to.
“We’re going to Skype tonight!” Melanie squealed. “Naked Skyping. Sorry, you probably didn’t need to know that. But I like to keep it spicy. Remind him of what’s waiting for him back home, you know?”
Charlotte laughed, “Naked Skyping. That’s a new one.”
“Yeah, all us military wives do the naked Skyping. Skype Sex! Oh my goodness I’m sorry. I’m just so happy, it’s making me say embarrassing things!” Melanie giggled. “But I guess being that you’re an OB you have probably heard a couple things about sex.”
“Just a couple,” Charlotte winked at her. “You really love each other. It’s a beautiful thing.”
“Yep,” Melanie said, her voice going soft for a moment. “Sometimes I wonder if I love him too much. Like, I love him so much I can barely breathe. I want to burst out of my own self half the time. I keep waiting for something bad to happen to me, because how is something like this kind of love possible? You know?”
Charlotte did know. Hearing Melanie say it out loud suddenly made her think of Declan, something she tried to avoid at all costs. But the only reason she understood what Melanie meant was because of her short time with him.
“I actually do know,” Charlotte admitted. “But Melanie, that’s not how the world works. It’s not always checks and balances. Incredible happiness does not need to be balanced out by sorrow. You should enjoy this time and enjoy what you have. Not everyone gets it. You’re very lucky.” Charlotte smiled. “And this baby boy is very lucky to be brought into a world where he will be loved so much.”
Melanie had tears in her eyes now and suddenly her arms were around Charlotte’s shoulders, pulling her in for an embrace.
Charlotte was usually coldly professional with her patients, so at first such demonstrative affection caught her off guard. But finally, she decided to just let it happen. Maybe it was time she did that more, after all.
Maybe it was time to start letting the world back in.
********
Charlotte met with her sister Vanessa later in the evening for drinks and conversation. Lately Charlotte had been so consumed with her practice and with work that the sisters hadn’t been able to spend much time together.
“So what’s new, sis?” Vanessa asked as Charlotte scooted into the booth at Piedmont Grill, their favorite hangout. “Long time, no see. You should call Dad, by the way. I am so tired of fielding his questions about you. I feel like the Sanders PR rep between you too.”
Charlotte sighed, “Phones work both ways. He can call me too.”