“Where the hell have you been?”
Henry DeGraff sat propped up in a hospital bed that had been set up in the DeGraff living room. Henry couldn’t climb stairs anymore, so it made it easier for him to be on the first floor, where everything was more easily accessible.
“Well, good morning to you too, Dad,” Declan said as he sat down in the silk upholstered chair next to his father.
Henry DeGraff’s appearance was alarming. He’d once been a man with a large presence. He was well over six feet tall with a broad chest and shoulders. He’d been incredibly handsome his entire life, a man who could charm women and intimidate men. But now he was a mere shell of his former, robust self. Henry was shriveled up and pruned. His legs were thin, his shoulders bony. His skin was papery thin and pale. He’d lost 50 pounds in the past 4 months.
Declan found it hard to look at him. It broke his heart.
“I thought you’d be around more,” Henry sniffed. “I’m dying here and you’re still partying away. Probably drinking and fucking and- “
“Jesus,” Declan interrupted. “Can you stop? I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. Just… Don’t.”
Henry shook his head, “I don’t mean it in a bad way. You should be doing those things, you’re young and healthy, with all your life ahead of you. And more money than sense. You’re living the dream. And I’ll be dead soon, so you won’t have to feel bad about doing any of it.”
“Stop it with that bullshit,” Declan said. “What, you think you’re going to die and I’m going to suddenly have this need to go on a debauched rampage?”
“I would hope so,” Henry grinned. “It would make me proud.”
Declan laughed, “Well, in that case…”
They had a rare moment of peace between them.
“I just,” Henry continued. “I want you to be happy. Do the things you want to do, not the things you have to.”
Declan looked at his father, “Since when the hell do you care about anyone being happy? They must have really hit you up with the morphine today.”
Henry laughed, and to Declan it sounded a little like the past. It was a deep, guttural chuckle from the well of what was left of his father. Declan had forgotten that, despite his misgivings toward Henry, he really loved the sound of his laugh. It had a low and hearty timbre to it. It was one of the world’s most pleasant sounds.
“Maybe so, son,” Henry said. “But I always cared. I just thought I knew what was best for you to get there. Apparently I was wrong. You’re richer than any DeGraff has ever been in the history of our family.”
Declan rolled his eyes, “Fuck money. It doesn’t mean I’m happy.”
“Spoken like someone who’s never been poor,” Henry replied.
“Ha!” Declan laughed. “And like you would know what that was like? You were born with a silver spoon up your ass. And so was Granddaddy.”
“I don’t have to experience poverty to understand how shitty it is,” Henry said. “Just like you don’t need to have cancer to know how insidious it is. You can see me with your own two eyes, can’t you?”
Declan looked away for a moment, unable to say anything.
“It’s fine, son,” Henry said. “And I know you’re right. Money doesn’t always mean you’ll be happy. But it’s not even just about that. You built something, on your own. You saved our asses in the process. We were about as close as it gets to going bankrupt and losing this house and our reputation in this town.”
Declan looked at his father again, “What would that have mattered anyway? What is the deal with ‘reputation’? It’s just another word for ‘I care way too much about what other people think.’ I didn’t bail us out financially for that bullshit. I did it because I love my family.”
They sat quietly for a moment, neither of them saying a word.
“I know,” Henry finally spoke. “You did it for your mother.”
“No, Dad,” Declan said. “Mom is dead. I did it for you.”
They’d never had a conversation like this before. Declan’s conversations with his father tended to be short and were always punctuated with a slamming door or angry last word. But both men were realizing there wasn’t time for that anymore.
It weighed heavy on them both.
“Thank you, son,” Henry almost whispered. “I don’t know if I ever said it.”
“You didn’t have to,” Declan replied. “You never will.”
********
They spent the rest of the morning watching Sports Center and The Price is Right while Henry’s nurse administered his pain medication and tried to get him to eat something.
“I’m not eating a damn thing,” he scoffed. “I’ll just throw it up anyway. The thought of it alone makes me nauseated. Give me some alone time with my son.”
The nurse sighed, “I can make you a smoothie if it would be easier. But you need some calories, Mr. DeGraff.”
“I said no!” Henry yelled, throwing the remote control across the room.