Jack busied himself with tying up any loose ends with Jimmy Gold, that crazy fuck was getting his ass carted to Otisville once the hospital cleared him for discharge. Over the last few months he and Bianci made a couple of trips up to see Victor Pastore. Aside from sealing Jimmy’s fate, Jack was trying to get in with another family. Victor’s organization was dead on the streets and he turned most of his interests over to another local mob boss, Rocco Spinelli and his crew. With our Chinese deal off the table, Jack was looking for a new buyer and Rocco was the top of list.
Pipe was expanding the garage, he hired a few new guys who specialized in custom bikes, hoping to generate more business for the club. Wolf went off the grid for days at a time, going on runs, hoping to sway nomads that didn’t belong to a charter to come sit at our table. So far the poor bastard hadn’t recruited one. Can’t blame them though, it’s like signing up for the military after our countries had been attacked but there’s no fucking purple heart to be won here.
Bones hasn’t had much going on other than his mission in life to annoy the fuck out of me. After the whole thing came to light, and I explained to Jack and the rest of the club it was my fault this shit went south, I tried to put distance between me and Kitten. I wasn’t doing it because I was freaking out about being tied down or even because we were having a kid; I was doing it because for the first time in my life I didn’t feel like being selfish. For the first time I had people in my life that were worth a damn and deserved better than I could give them. But every time I thought I could do it, thought I could turn my back on them and sacrifice my promise to Kitten so she and Pea could have a life without fear…Bones was there reminding me I was more than capable of taking care of what was mine. Own it became two words I contemplated tattooing to my body.
It’s not a hard thing to do, owning my responsibilities, it’s something I’m happy to do. You would be too if you had Lauren every night waiting in your bed, ice cold feet and all, she was my favorite person.
At nineteen weeks pregnant, she was the prettiest, sexiest creature I had ever laid eyes on. About six weeks ago, Pea decided he or she didn’t want to go unnoticed anymore and Lauren’s belly started to round. Each week since, it seemed to get bigger and bigger, all signs that our kid was growing and gearing up to make his big debut. Kitten was almost at the half-way mark and everything was smooth sailing. I hadn’t missed another doctor’s appointment since that first one when I fucked up. Our refrigerator now proudly displayed grainy black and white pictures of Pea, a souvenir from every visit.
Jack walked up beside me, handing me a beer and tipped his head toward Lauren.
“When are you two going to do one of these things?” He asked, studying a pink and blue napkin in his hands before shaking his head. It was quite comical that the Bulldog was at a gender reveal party. Fuck, if we’re being honest it’s pretty crazy that either of us were here. If someone would’ve told me six months ago I would be sitting in Bianci’s house, with his mother ten feet away, waiting for his kid to pull the tape off a box and let us all know if they were having a boy or a girl…well, I’d tell them they were fucking bat shit crazy.
Yet, here I was.
And Jack was standing next to me guzzling a beer.
Join an M.C. they said… Ha.
“Lauren wants to be surprised,” I answer Jack finally, taking a greedy sip of the beer he offered me.
“I can’t believe you’re having a kid with Bianci’s sister,” he mused.
“Yeah, it kind of threw me for a loop too,” I replied sarcastically.
“Noticed you’re not sleeping at the Dog Pound anymore, guess things are working out for you two,” he coaxed.
“Just trying to do what’s right,” I said automatically, running my fingers through my hair that had grown back.
Whatever the fuck that is anymore.
I stared at Lauren from across the room, our eyes meeting and she smiled widely. I stopped myself from walking over to her, from wrapping my arms around her and claiming what was mine. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, slamming my foot on the brake every time I wanted more from her. It wouldn’t be fair to take more, not now, not with this threat looming in the air.
I battle with myself on a daily basis, thinking I’m doing the wrong thing by staying with Lauren, getting close to her and actually learning what it is to be a dad. I argue that she and the baby need me that I can save them from the unknown but when I’m alone I know the truth. I look at Blackie struggle with his wife’s death. I look at Jack, constantly worried something is going to happen to Reina or Lacey and know every minute I’m with Lauren is a risk, a gamble I’m taking with her life.
But still, there’s a shred of hope inside of me that overpowers the truth, and I tell myself it’s okay. I can protect her. I can protect Pea.
I love my life.
Or I did.
I thought being a part of the Satan’s Knights was my calling, my destiny, a goddamn saving grace.
I guess that was before I had something to lose—before them.
“Twenty bucks says it’s a girl,” Jack said beside me, as everyone shouted pink or blue and little Luca pulled the tape from the box.
Anthony crouched down beside his son, helping him as he opened the box and a bunch of pink balloons escaped. He pulled Luca into his arms and reached for Adrianna.
He did it.