Where it should be.
If Jack was right, and he usually was, every moment I spent making it count was another moment I put her and Pea at risk. Jimmy took Reina partially because she meant something to Jack. That sick fuck tried to grab Jack’s daughter and would have if Blackie hadn’t of sacrificed himself.
An enemy didn’t care about the people that mattered most in your life, it wasn’t about them, they were just a pawn they took to make you suffer. I understood the concept, there was no greater torture than being helpless as someone you cared about suffered for your sins. I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same thing to one of my own enemies.
Make it count.
Borrowed time.
Jack’s words repeated over and over in my head but they didn’t stop me from going home to Kitten. His words should’ve been a wake-up call, a warning, but all they did was push me closer to finding my heart. The thing that keeps me breathing.
It was late by the time I got home and all the lights were out. Lauren was sound asleep in our bed with a book resting on her chest. I walked around the bed, glancing down at her feet curled under her and saw the socks she wore. I felt something squeeze inside of me and I brought my hand up to my chest trying to rub it away.
I carefully took the book from her chest and closed it, turning it over to see what she was reading.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
My lips curved slightly as I placed the book on top of the nightstand and my eyes wandered to her stomach.
Still no sign of Pea.
Still a chance for that kid to be spared the hell my life would inflict on him or her.
Then I looked at Lauren and remembered I promised her I’d stick around. She’d hate me if I left but she’d hate me more if something happened to her or the baby.
I turned around and walked out of the bedroom, deciding that I couldn’t walk away just yet and knowing with every fiber of my being I was doing the wrong thing. I kicked off my boots and told myself sleeping on the couch was at least putting distance between us but before I could lie down, Lauren padded into the living room.
“What’re you doing?” She asked softly.
“I didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep, Kitten,” I said huskily.
“Okay, then come with me,” she replied, holding out her hand as she cocked her head to the side and stared at me.
My hand moved up to my chest again, rubbing away that ache as I stood up and walked over to her. She pressed her lips to mine quickly before turning around and taking me to bed.
It was painfully obvious that I couldn’t say no to Kitten and more importantly I didn’t want to, so I yielded Jack’s advice and made it count.
Chapter Twenty-Six
We met Sun Wu at Pop’s shooting range the following day to give him back the money for the drugs we stole. I underestimated Jack, maybe because that shit Wu spewed when he took me was stuck on repeat in my head. I assumed he would try to forge a new truce between the clubs. Jack didn’t do anything like that, he gave that motherfucker his money and assured him he’d be waiting for him. He didn’t back down from the inevitable threat but welcomed it instead. He was a sick fuck.
Three months had come and gone without one word from Wu. Three months, living life, looking over our shoulder waiting for the bloody war to begin. But it never did, the Red Dragons didn’t strike and so we kept on breathing, waiting for the moment when the air would be robbed from our lungs.
The club was in a bad place financially and worse; we were weak when it came to our man power, making us vulnerable. Blackie had been released from the hospital and joined a state funded methadone program, which only substituted one high for another. He needed to get himself checked into a rehab but refused, mainly because of the impending war with the Chinese but also because he had a death wish. Every day out of rehab, was another day he suffered, and that man loved living life waiting for it to end. He promised Jack he’d go to rehab when this shit died down. Nobody knew when that would be and we all feared he’d succumb to his demons before that.