I didn’t understand it, but his anger seemed to feed mine. “You’ll have to excuse me for having doubts.” My hard gaze held his. “Especially when it comes to my son.”
“Our son,” he fumed, before he readjusted his tone. “He’s our son, Lex. We both had a part in making him. He’s ours.”
I immediately regretted what I said. “But only one of us stuck around.”
He stood and paced, and my chest ached. This was not what I had planned. I wanted a quiet conversation; I wanted simple answers, and what I got was a bubbling argument that only seemed to grow.
“So, what?” Tony uttered. “You want me out?” I never said that, but I was too stunned to speak. He obviously took this as a yes, because his next words were a pistol and they were aimed at me. “Listen to me, Alexa. A.J. could love us both.” He paused in his steps to lay his dark stare on me. “Or he can hate you. You decide.”
Bang.
My voice shook at the understanding of what he just said. “You asshole.”
And that was the moment he realized he’d fucked up. He put a hand to his hip and another to his forehead, lightly knocking his knuckles into his temple. He spoke through gritted teeth, his eyes shut tightly. “That didn’t come out right.”
“I think you need to leave.”
“I didn’t mean that.” He sighed.
My tone was whisper-soft. “You need to leave.”
“No.” He shook his head, trying to reason with me. “I’m staying right here. Ling’s fucking crazy. You think she wouldn’t think twice about coming here, hurting you?”
I was way past giving a solid fuck. “What do you care?”
When he lunged at me with his hulking body, it was so sudden a move I didn’t have time to react. He caught both my wrists in his hands, almost bruising, and he shook me, snarling, “Don’t you fucking get it? I would lay down my life for you.” When my wide eyes met his, he looked down at his hands and dropped my wrists, stepping back and looking away. “In fact,” he panted lightly, lost in his own head, “I already did.”
I rubbed at my wrists, not because it hurt, but because his rough touch burned me in a way I hadn’t felt for years.
And in true Twitch style, he walked down the hall, opened the front door, and stepped out, disappearing on me.
The moment he was gone, I missed him.
When I woke in the morning, feeling irritated beyond belief, I stepped out of my bedroom in my barely there nightie and was shot directly in the feels.
Son of a bitch.
I stilled midstep and watched the artfully decorated grown man lay on the floor with his shirt off as his son pressed colored markers to his skin, using him as his own personal coloring book.
The little monster looked up at me, smiling. “Hi, Mummy.” He gestured to his prone dad. “Look.”
I was looking.
He was beautiful.
And when he peered up at me, my throat closed over. Even more so when he uttered a cautious, “Mornin’, Mommy.”
Ugh. My heart. Not fair.
I cleared my throat. “You taking him to school this morning?”
“Of course,” he said, watching my face in a way that spoke volumes.
He was contemplating how much damage he’d done the night before.
I nodded, avoiding his watchful stare. “Okay. I’m going for a run.”
By the time I got out of the shower, they were gone, and when I stepped into my bedroom, my eye caught the blur of red on the nightstand.
I went over to it, picking up the bright red zinnia and twirling it between my fingers before pressing it to my lips. The petals were cool against my skin.
Why I felt like crying then, who knew?
Shaking the sadness I felt off, I stretched for a while before dressing and making it out to my car. I unlocked the door then sighed, noticing I’d forgotten my drink bottle. I stepped out of the running car and ran back into the house for a split second, rushing back to the car in record time, slipping my belt on, and started to reverse.
Feeling the jam on the radio, I sang along. Loudly.
“You don’t even lock it?”
Hitting the brakes, my body jolted, and in my panic, I beeped the horn a second before taking in a deep breath and shrieking to the high heavens.
“Still can’t sing for shit, baby.”
As I continued to shriek, I heard his low, rough chuckle, and my shriek heightened in pitch as I reached behind my seat, blindly swatting at the infuriating man.
When his laughter increased and I ran out of breath, I twisted in my seat and looked back at him, wide-eyed and panting. The moment I saw him lying on the back seat, reclining with an arm behind his head, looking comfortable as ever as he grinned at me, I turned around, tipped my head back, and shrieked again, only this time yelling out, “Jerk!”
My heart beating out of my chest, I ran out of breath a second time, and with flushed cheeks, my body shook in silent laughter. Dropping my forehead to the steering wheel, the horn sounded again and my laughter increased. I spoke through my breathlessness, “You scared the shit out of me.”
I felt him climb over the center console and into the passenger seat, waiting for me to get my shit together, and when I finally did, I peeked up at him through narrowed eyes, and that beautifully crooked smile hit me like a punch to the face. He leaned in. “Miss me?”
I shook my head, my throat thickening drastically. “You’re an asshole.”
“I know,” he uttered roughly. “But this asshole adores you.”
Oh, he didn’t.
He did not.
That’s all it took.
My face crumpled and I burst into tears, and as I sobbed, I spoke through my cries. “I am so petrified.”
“Of what?” When I didn’t respond, he tried again. “I need you to talk to me, angel.”
My shoulders shook. I dipped my chin, watching the tears fall into my lap. My voice was feather-soft. “Of you leaving me again.” I implored, “Do you know how that feels? To never know if today is your last day together? To always think that this could be it?” The tears kept coming, and I croaked, “It’s fucking terrifying to want forever with someone who may not be able to give it to you.” I took in a deep, shaking breath, as I admitted, “I lost myself when I lost you. I don’t think I’d survive it a second time.”
He watched me closely, his eyes soft. He didn’t speak a while, but when he did, his tone was earnest. “Everything I did, I did for us, so we could be a family.”
“I know. But it hurts to love you, Twitch.” I spoke through a shuddering exhale. “It always has.”
Reaching over, he took my hand in one hand and took my chin in the other, turning me to face him, and what he said made my stomach clench. “Ride this out with me and we’ll make it out of this together.” Lowering his head, he pressed his lips to my knuckles and spoke against them. “Ride or die, baby. Together for always. You’re it for me. I know I’m it for you.” He peered up at me through his lowered gaze. “Love me forever?”
My lips parted and I swallowed hard. “Forever is a long time.”
His eyes crinkled in the corners. “Yes, it is.”
He released me with a reluctant sigh before he opened the passenger door. He hesitated a second before he looked straight ahead, and the solemn vow he made had my heart aching.
“It probably doesn’t mean shit now, and I know you needed to hear it back then, but I couldn’t give it to you then, so I’m layin’ it down now.” A short pause, and then, “I will love you till the end of time.”
Before I could even register what he’d said, the door had shut and he was walking back across the street.
***
Twitch It had been a rough week on my angel and I knew what she needed.
A night out.
A night of good food.
A night with her man.
Preferably one in which we ended our rough week with a rough night in bed.
So when I turned up at the house, wearin’ the eight thousand dollar suit I’d bought just for her, and walked down the hall, into the family room, I saw Molly and A.J. reclining on the sofa. When the little woman spotted me, she chuckled before letting out a long whistle. “Holy shit. You going to a funeral or something?”
My son just looked up at me with wide eyes and whispered, “Whoa.”
But the house felt empty. Frowning, I looked around, before asking, “Where is she?”
A.J. turned back to the TV. “Date night.”