Twitch
It had been twenty-four hours and Lexi had yet to leave her bedroom, which was why I dropped in. I needed to make sure she was okay.
My son hadn’t been home in this time, but Molly assured me he’d be back the next day.
For everyone’s sake, he’d better be. If he wasn’t, I was going after him, and I told her as much. No one was keeping me from him.
It was after midnight, and as I lay next to the angel who’d stolen my heart, I spoke quietly so as to not spook her.
“Lexi,” I uttered, watching her back stiffen. “Angel.” I reached out to touch her but stopped partway, balling my hand into a fist before pulling away. “We need to talk.”
I watched her hug herself. She stayed that way, her body tightly constricted, a long while. Her voice was weak and her softly spoken words bruised me all over. “Go away.”
Okay.
I had all the time in the world.
I really hoped she understood that because I wasn’t going anywhere.
Not without her.
I went with Molly to pick up my son from school. When she blatantly refused to take me along, I told her I’d follow anyways, and I must have looked convincing enough because she caved rather quickly. I stayed in the car, waiting patiently as she collected him.
The second he saw me in the backseat, his face transformed into a huge grin. “Dad!” But then he focused on my swollen nose and the purple bruising under my eyes and his face fell. “Daddy?”
“I had a little accident, bud, but it’s okay.” I held my arms out to him and he climbed into the backseat with me, falling into me. I hugged him as long as I could before I buckled him in. As we drove, I explained, “Your mom’s not feeling well, so we’re gonna give her a break. I’m gonna come over a while, okay?”
My son’s face lit up. “You’re staying?”
Smiling hurt, but for him, I managed a small one. “Hell, yeah, I’m staying.”
For the first time in my life, I got to be a father to my son, and I don’t know who was more thrilled about it, me or him.
When we got back to the house and I walked into the kitchen, I rubbed my hands together. “So—” I peered down at the smaller, shorter, skinnier version of me. “—what do you eat?”
Molly let out a choked laugh and I spun on her, glaring. At the intensity of my scowl, she raised her hands in surrender and wiped the grin off her face, which was a good thing, ‘cause I didn’t have any problem kicking her ass.
A.J. looked to the girl. “Molly makes me a snack after school.”
“I’m making your snack today, bud,” I told him, discreetly throwing Molly the bird when she grinned hard at my son’s loyalty to her. “What do you normally have?”
“Almond butter apple sandwiches,” said A.J. and I blinked.
“Come again?” What the fuck was that?
Molly cut in with, “I can do it, really. It’s no problem. It’s kind of my job.”
I turned, biting the inside of my cheek. I could fucking do it. If she could do it and she was like—what?—thirteen, then I could make my goddamn son a shitty snack.
Oh, shit.
My heart was racing. I needed to calm down.
Closing my eyes, I breathed deep, letting it out slowly. “I’ll do it. Just show me where the stuff is.”
The girl must’ve sensed the irritability in me because she did as I asked and grabbed me an apple, a knife, and some shit called almond butter. “All you do is cut the apple long ways, cut out the seeds, and put a thick layer of almond butter on them before putting another piece of apple on the top. See? Almond butter apple sandwiches.”
Yeah, I got it. Seemed easy enough.
I started cutting the apple and Molly made a sound in her throat. “Not that way. Long ways, like this.” She held the apple on its side.
My exasperation raised a whole level. “Does it really matter which way I cut the stupid apple?”
“It does,” she said, smartass that she was. “Unless you want A.J. to be eating arsenic-laced apple seeds.” When my brow knitted, she let out a hushed, “You do not want that.”
Okay. Shit.
Was it hot in here?
Agitated as fuck, I scratched at the scruff on my jaw.
Who knew making a snack would be so hard?
After I finished the stupid fucking fruit sandwiches, I put ‘em on a plate and handed them to A.J., and the look he gave me, one of pure elation, made all the anxiety cease.
“They look just like Molly’s.” Then he gazed up at me, asking, “Can I go see Mum?”
I started, “I don’t think—”
But Molly cut me off. “Of course, little dude. Just remember, she’s not feeling well, okay? So use your indoor voice.”
And he was off, opening the door quietly and stepping through before shutting it just as softly behind him.
When I looked at Molly, she uttered, “She won’t mind, trust me. He comes before her. Always has.”
Of course he did. That was because she was a great mum. Nothing like mine, nothing like hers, just as I knew she would be.
And it gave me hope that maybe even somebody like me could be a good dad if I put my mind to it. With Lexi’s help, I’d learn.
***
Lexi
I was crushed, absolutely devastated at the realization of the duplicity of the last five years. I wasn’t coping. Not at all. Every time I thought it, my breath hitched and more tears than I even knew I harbored fell.
To make matters worse, my son had tried to tell me, over and over again, and not only had I not believed him, but I made him feel that he couldn’t talk to me about it anymore.
My eyes shut tight, I hugged myself under the covers as my guilt had my stomach dipping.
I was a horrible mother.
The door to my bedroom squeaked as it opened and I refused to open my eyes. I was being a coward, but looking into the soft brown hooded eyes of the man I loved was more than I could bear. It was a reminder of the lies and deceit, of the sheer heartbreak I felt, then and now, and I didn’t know whether I had it in me to deal with that at this very moment.
But then I heard his sweet voice. “Mummy, are you okay?”
Without a word, I lifted the covers and he slid under them. Something cold touched my arm, and I squinted through my hot, swollen eyes. “What have you got there?”
A.J. picked up an apple sandwich and bit into it. “Daddy made me a snack.”
My fragile heart cracked a little more. One more fracture and it would surely shatter into a thousand pieces.
“Oh, he did, did he?” I tried to keep my voice light, but it was harder than it sounded. “Is Molly out there too?”
“Yep,” he said, nibbling on his snack, and some of my tension fell away.
No way would Molly let A.J. go anywhere without her. I knew she would risk almost anything to keep him safe. Even from his father.
Speaking in low tones, A.J. asked, “Is it okay if Daddy stays a while?”
I thought about that and decided it was better to keep Twitch happy for the moment because it wouldn’t last long and an unhappy Twitch was not something to take lightly. I’d seen him upset. The memories still plagued me.
“Okay, baby, but just for tonight.” I would give myself today, but tomorrow, I came out swinging. “I need to speak to Molly, honey. Can you get her for me?”
“Okay. Feel better.” He kissed me with sticky lips and I loved him for knowing how much I needed it. The moment Molly came into the bedroom and shut the door, I whispered, “If he tries to take A.J., I want you to shoot him.”
No hesitation. “No problem.”
Good girl.
She left me be and I found sanctuary in the depths of my covers.
And now, back to my depression, for tomorrow, I’d come alive again.
***
Twitch
It was just after nine when I walked into my house to find Happy sitting at the table with Julius and Ana. I stalled a second, looking from brother to brother before I made my way in, lightly shutting the door behind me.
“You come to apologize?” I spoke directly to Julius, and when he glowered, I grinned. “Look at what you did to my face, Jay. I look like a beat-up sack of turds.”