“If you ever lay another hand on me, I swear to God I will cut it off and feed it to the dogs!”
“We don’t have any dogs, Cooper,” Gray says coolly while his wife is currently huffing out every breath in his direction, her face flushed, her eyes shooting venom at him, and she reminds me of a fire-breathing dragon, really. He’s being really calm. I think in his shoes I’d be hightailing it out to the waiting room. Shit, I just got here and I’m ready to go back into the waiting room. The nurse said this was pre-labor, something about dilation and mild contractions. From the cursing coming out of CC’s mouth, I don’t see a damn thing mild going on.
“I don’t think it was his hand that got you knocked up, baby doll,” Mom chirps in cheerfully, pushing CC’s hair away from her face. Kayla hides behind me and I can feel her body shaking in laughter. Gray apparently has the good sense to remain quiet.
“Then I’ll cut off his damn di—”
“Now, sweetheart, I don’t think you truly mean that. You’re awful partial to my nine iron.”
“Come here,” CC puffs, and that’s when I gain a new respect for my brother. He doesn’t even blink. He walks closer and bends down to her. CC grabs his shirt collar tightly in her hand. For a second, I’m afraid she might choke him. There’s enough anger in her eyes, to completely convince me of that.
“Now, Cooper…”
“My last name is Lucas now, asshole! And if I had one of those fancy nine irons you keep in that fancy golf bag of yours, I’d beat you over the head with it right nowwwww…”
The last of her sentence is whined out in a loud yell which definitely could break glass. I even find myself checking the windows to see if they shatter around us.
“You got this, CC. Just breathe through it,” Mom says, doing her best to be soothing, I’m sure. I’m also pretty certain that CC is completely ignoring her. What I’m even more certain of is the fact that the hold CC has on Gray’s collar is tighter now and to the point that my brother’s face is starting to change color.
“Um… maybe we should go back to the waiting room,” Kayla suggests. I look at her and find she’s a little pale herself. The last thing I need is for her to fear this. Hell, I feel like I’m being stabbed with needles as it is. I don’t want to see Kayla in pain either. Kayla’s right; it’s best if we go outside. We can deal with this part when it’s time.
“We’ll just be outside if you need us,” I tell Gray. He would probably acknowledge me if his wife wasn’t trying to kill him. I need to make a mental note that if we ever get lucky enough to make a baby and Kayla goes into labor, I won’t wear shirts she can grab and strangle me with. That might put a damper on the whole welcoming-our-child-into-the-world thing.
“Hey, before you go, could you give me your phone?” Mom asks just as we’re about to escape through the door.
“My phone?” I ask, automatically reaching for it.
“Yeah, my battery is dead and I want to record the minute the twins make their appearance.”
“You what?” CC screeches, holding her stomach, but thankfully letting go of Gray’s shirt. My brother sucks in some air and coughs, but he looks at me with the goofy grin of a man completely happy with his world. I look at Kayla and can even understand that.
“The minute my precious grandsons’ heads start peeking out, I’m capturing it for prosperity! I’ve even set up one of those fancy Facebook events and invited all our neighbors!” Mom rattles on. “Hand your phone over, White. I need to plan my angle. It’s not going to be easy to capture the moment with the doctor working. Maybe I can get him to pose, holding the head of the first baby, and then…”
“Ida Sue! You are not taking pictures of my va-jay-jay for the world to freaking see!”
“I was going to video it, really, and—”
“There will be no videos of my woman’s pussy.”
“I hate that word.” This is said in unison by both Mom and CC.
“That’s funny. You never tell me that when you’re begging me to play with it,” Gray grumbles, to which CC elbows him in the gut and he ends his sentence with a grunt.
“I think we should go,” Kayla whispers.
“I need your phone,” Mom says.
“You leave your phone, White, and I will hunt you down and gut you.”
The deadly certainty in CC’s eyes is enough to convince me to keep my phone hidden. I let Kayla drag me out of there while Mom and CC are fighting about cameras.
“If we ever have a child and you let Ida Sue within a hundred yards of my delivery room, I will kill you.”
“Got it,” I tell her, starting to think the women I know are a little too bloodthirsty. “How about we go find some food while we’re waiting to see my nephews?”
“I am hungry,” Kayla agrees, and I lead her to the cafeteria. I figure the further I can get her away from the madness, the better—for me and for other parts of my anatomy.
CHAPTER 50
WHITE