“You love me,” she repeats.
“That’s not supposed to make you cry.”
“Why?” she asks, crying harder.
“Why what?” I respond, thoroughly confused.
“Why do you love me?”
“Sweetheart, what do you think we’ve been doing here?”
“Here?”
“Together.”
“I don’t know!” she cries like she’s completely lost. My heart squeezes, and by that, I mean I can physically feel the pain.
“You don’t know?” I’m not sure how to respond to that.
“I just figured I’d enjoy the ride however long it lasted.”
“However long it lasted? Are you nuts?”
“You agreed to this to help me get a child. You don’t even want kids. We’ve been friends all of our lives, but I’m not delusional.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I’m not the kind of girl you normally go for, White.”
“What do you mean, kind?”
“Exactly that. I can’t hold a candle to the women you usually date. I knew going in that this was just temporary.”
“Wait. Hold up. Why in the fuck would you even compare yourself to anyone, Kayla? Jesus Fucking Christ! Don’t you get it?”
“Get what?”
“You aren’t like those other women. Fuck, I’ve never given my heart to anyone before.”
“But…”
“Sweetheart, you’re beautiful. You’re so gorgeous, you take my breath away. From the color of your hair, to your eyes, the way your smile lights up an entire room, all the way to how your body curves and feels against me, every single bit of it turns me on more than I’ve ever been turned on in my life.”
“You don’t have to say that. I know that I’m fat. I don’t have any delusions about what stares back at me in the mirror.”
“Then maybe you need a new fucking mirror. Jesus, Kayla. Who did this shit to you? Who made you feel as if you didn’t measure up? Who in the hell convinced you that the woman I’m looking at isn’t the most beautiful person in the world? ‘Cause I’ve got to tell you, baby, you are. You take my breath away. I’m not telling you that for any other reason than it is one hundred percent the truth. I love you.”
“White…”
“This can’t work if you don’t start believing in what we have, Kayla. I can fight, sweetheart. For you, I will fight until I don’t have breath in my body any longer. I’ll do it, because what I’ve had with you these past months is a million times better than anything I’ve ever experienced, or expected. But I can’t fight alone. I can’t knock out your demons, Kayla. Especially if I don’t know what they are or who put them there.”
“You love me,” she whispers.
“So much, it hurts.”
“I’m scared, White.”
“There’s no need to be, sweetheart. I’m right here and I have no intention of ever leaving.”
CHAPTER 48
KAYLA
He’s completely serious. It’s there in his eyes, in the way he’s holding himself, and even though he’s blurry from the tears in my eyes, I can tell that. In my head I just keep hearing over and over: my fiancée.
I’ve spent so long thinking this was just temporary, that soon I’d wake up and White will have realized he made a mistake and everything would just blow up. I have been preparing myself for it, even preparing to lose White completely. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be standing before the man I’ve always loved and hearing him tell me that he loves me. That he wants me… forever.
“How did we get here?” I whisper, more to myself than to White. I feel his fingers comb through my hair and I force my eyes up to his.
“As far as I’m concerned, it took us too fucking long to get here.”
“It did,” I agree. “It really did.”
“No more running, Kayla. No more fighting it, honey. This is it.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that and, instead, show you some of the reasons you and I are meant to be.”
“Meant to be? That doesn’t sound hokey at all,” I try and joke through the tears that are slowly drying as happiness begins to envelope me.
“Always a smart ass,” he chides, picking me up in his arms and walking me through the room. He doesn’t stop until we get to the bedroom and he places me gently on the bed.
I sit up immediately, my eyes glued to him as he pulls the shirt he’s wearing over his head.
“Your turn,” he prompts.
“White, there’s something I think I should tell you. Something I did that you should know. I think it would be best if we—”
I break off as the phone rings. We both turn to look at it in unison. White looks back at me with a smile.